I Am Scared For My Brother

My brother was an addict. He recently got out of detox 2 days ago and went to a sober house to make sure when he gets out he has that will power to be strong. When I went to the sober house to check it out I was very scared for him because it was not what I expected him to have to live in for the next 6- 9 months. I left there and could not stop crying. I can't stand the thought of him being there and every time I think about it I get so upset. I want to know if these sober houses really work? Does anybody really know if those houses are safe for him? Please help me because it's making me worried.


I am writing in response to the sober house. I am a addict and after treatment I had to go to a Oxford house. I was scared because I hadn't even visited the house before having to move there. I was greeted by sober women and felt supported and safe. My advice is to look around. Visit all houses with openings. They are all very different. My experience was not good, But It is all in what you put into it. I would tell your brother if he is not happy where he is start looking around for other openings and ask to be couched for a couple days. Do not become close to the other people in the house if they are not serious about there recovery. Remember this is his life and always remember that. My mistake was when I knew my roommates were not being honest I did not confront them I had become to close and put our friendship ahead of my recovery. This resulted in a relapse for me and them. I was expelled and luckily for me got right back int recovery and am doing great. Men and women stay clean and sober in these houses, they provide a safe place for addicts to go. Don't be discouraged with my experience. Just ask alot of questions at each house and always put your recovery first.
Kristen:
In address your question related to half-way houses. You were not very specific as to why you feared for your brother. So I will approach this in two different manners.
#1. If you are scared for your brother because you saw that this was not a clean house then encourage him to start looking elsewhere. If he was in treatment and place there by a treatment program ask him to get back with his counselor and to see if they can find another house for him.
#2 If you were fearful because it was not " in a nice neighborhood", the place was not fancy, or did not meet your personal shall we say hygenic standards, then think of this. If he were still using do you think that he would not be exposing himself to situations far worse than the one he is now experiencing. Most of these homes run on a shoestring budget, and as so are not afforded the ability to decorate nicely, many of the homes are furnished by goodwill.

The bottom line is if he wants to stay clean and sober he will need structure, it is better to be at a good meaning clean house even if it is not fancy than to be driving a BMW and using. His ability to stay clean will depend on his actions, his strength, and his committment, you cannot just try to stay clean, you just have to do it.
My message to you is support him do not inable himif you must cry for his situation cry for his soberity alone.... in his presence give him strength and support, and unless the house is dirty do not try to get him to leave