I Asked My Accountant Today...

Pain Pills
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...if i could claim my co-dependents on my next tax return?

arrrrrrgh - what's a girl to do - he said, no!

got your attention? hehehehe - seriously, not only am i an addict, i am a codependent. does that strike you odd?

read on.

there is so much written on this topic of codependency. i think i qualify just being an addict. after all, i was addicted to drugs - dependent on them to live life on life's terms. this dependency developed after i realized that i feelings of being "less than", yes, my ego had the amazing ways of revealing itself to me, from boastful pride to feelings of one who was subserviant. i lived in fear that you might not like me if i was not funny, cute, the perfect size 10 or whatever rot filled my head. i lived in fear of rejection! yeah that's it, rejection, that you might not think me worthy of the love that is innate in each and every one of us.

below are some thoughts about difficult people, relationships, and codepency. it is authored by melody beattie, who by the way, was also a prescription drug addict.

i hope this helps someone out there this evening, as much as it helped me. what a wonderful day it was when i walked into the 12 step rooms of recovery, because not only did i get clean, i learned that i could let go of those character defects that haunted me daily. i learned...

there is a solution.

namaste'

sammy

_____

Difficult People

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking ourselves and our needs into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

We decided how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.

This is the heart detaching with love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.
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Thanks dsam. I needed that today.
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Boy, me too None, thank you Sammy. Love, Kat
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you're welcome, professor!

i needed to hear it too.

i always post what i need to hear. *wink, wink*

much love to you -

sammy
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Dear Sammy,
Thanks for talking to me today, you always say the things I need to hear, I dont always want to hear them but thats ok. lol I needed to read that post and I guess you knew that as I was sitting deciding what to do. I realize it is time for me to walk away. You are always dear to my heart and I love ya for it.
thanks again sammy!!
love ya
gina :)
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you my darling, gi, sidle right up next me.

for you, my darling, gi - are me!

what an illusion it was that i lived when i thought
myself separate from others. the very traits, "things",
i saw in other people, i saw in myself. it was my
illusions that kept me separate. it was my illusions
i needed to surrender.

surrendering to the love of my HP doesnt weaken me,
oh no, quite the contrary. surrendering to my illusions
strengthens me. coming to terms that there is an oneness
with my HP doesnt bridge the gap that I am a success
and failure(and here is the most important part I have learned)
rather, it eradicates the illusion that there ever was a gap.

howdy, howdy hoooooo - that's some heavy stuff - and on that note,
i'm calling it day.

i love you, precious spirit gi.

namaste'

sammy
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Sammy, loved it and needed it....again. Sleep well. ~tdmom
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Sammy, as I'm sure you probably already know from my previous points, acceptance from my husband and towards my husband is something we are finally addressing.... With all of this going on in my marriage, I finally told him how I felt - that all of this time he has tried to make me out to be this perfect person, the pretty bird in the glass cage.... Whether he's meant to or not, I never felt like he accepted who I really am.... Not physically; I'm the one person whose has a husband who likes it better when I don't look like a fitness model & I become "softer".... It's more the inside that he's never accepted. He's never been understanding about the drugs, my flirting, my job, my past..... I always felt that he looked down on me because I was not "perfect"

Then I realized that I was doing the same thing with him... I had put him on a pedastal and regarded him as this amazingly perfect person who had everything under control... The entire time we dated (6 yrs), I was the one that pursued him, that admired him, that looked up to him... Then we got married and I saw that he wasn't perfect.... he works too much, he bitches too much, he's not the mushy-type....

So now, instead of fighting against all of that, we are doing our best to embrace our uniqueness and learn to accept each other as we are, faults and all.

No one is perfect.... You just have to find someone who is perfect for YOU
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Beautiful post Sammy - as always :o)

Hope you have a wonderful, peaceful night of sleep. God bless you.

Love,
Marie
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Thanks Sammy.

It was exactly what I needed to hear today. More than you know.

Thanks again and have a great day,
Mickey