I first want to say that it seems like everyone is doing pretty good around here. Keep it up!
I didnt do so well last night though. I went to a party, and told myslef I would only have 4 drinks. I really thought i might be able to do it. But everyone at the party was getting pretty hammered. Plus i didnt know a some of people there, so it was uncomfortable not to have a drink in my hand. What do you do? When you stop drinking, do you just not go to parties with your friends? How do you lead a normal life without drinking at all? I know I can make friends with non drinkers, but i've been friends with these people for years, and i love them. I dont want to be excluded from things either! I am really confused. I dont want to have to quit drinking all together. Why can't i just limit myself and stick to it. it was hard because all of my friends and even my boyfriend, who said that he'd help me, was getting very drunk. He even said he would limit himself, just to help me and that didnt happen. I cant make him suffer just because i have a problem, so i'm not mad at him. Any words of wisdom from anyone who's been in this situation?
Mupmup
MupMup,
There is no answer to what to do about your drinking friends, you just have to find what works for you. I have been drinking since I was 16 and will be 40 in a few days. I recently realized I have a problem with alcohol. I always questioned my alcohol use and because I didn't drink every day and could go out and have one drink, I didn't think I had a problem, well recently (last 6 months or so) I have been drinking in excess every time I drink. I consciously decided to quit drinking and made it for 16 days before I "fell" off the wagon. I went to a party with drinking friends around the Holiday and did not drink. I had 7-up and cranberry juice mixed and I know some people thought I was drinking. It was really hard but I did not drink. Well, the other night I was playing poker with some other drinking friends and started out drinking N/A beer and after a few hours I decided to drink anyways. It's hard to continue to be with drinking friends. Almost all my friends drink. I don't want to give them up but I'm thinking that until I am stronger I need to be aware of the activities I am doing with them. I do think I can go to poker nights or the womens bowling league nights without a real struggle but I could do other things with them where drinking isn't so prevalent, like a Holiday party where people are socializing but no one is really noticing what you are drinking. The main emphasis isn't around drinking. I don't know. I am new at this. It's hard as hell and I'm trying to take one day at a time. Good luck to you!!!!!!! If you have any suggestions regarding social drinking situations and how not to drink, let me know.
There is no answer to what to do about your drinking friends, you just have to find what works for you. I have been drinking since I was 16 and will be 40 in a few days. I recently realized I have a problem with alcohol. I always questioned my alcohol use and because I didn't drink every day and could go out and have one drink, I didn't think I had a problem, well recently (last 6 months or so) I have been drinking in excess every time I drink. I consciously decided to quit drinking and made it for 16 days before I "fell" off the wagon. I went to a party with drinking friends around the Holiday and did not drink. I had 7-up and cranberry juice mixed and I know some people thought I was drinking. It was really hard but I did not drink. Well, the other night I was playing poker with some other drinking friends and started out drinking N/A beer and after a few hours I decided to drink anyways. It's hard to continue to be with drinking friends. Almost all my friends drink. I don't want to give them up but I'm thinking that until I am stronger I need to be aware of the activities I am doing with them. I do think I can go to poker nights or the womens bowling league nights without a real struggle but I could do other things with them where drinking isn't so prevalent, like a Holiday party where people are socializing but no one is really noticing what you are drinking. The main emphasis isn't around drinking. I don't know. I am new at this. It's hard as hell and I'm trying to take one day at a time. Good luck to you!!!!!!! If you have any suggestions regarding social drinking situations and how not to drink, let me know.
I meant to say I don't think I can go to mainly drinking situations without a real struggle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It sucks!!!! Going out with friends who drink when you are a recovering alcholic just plain sucks. Have you noticed that people don't call you as much? When I am drinking I have tons of friends, which is crazy because I am such a nasty person after a bottle of vodka. Yet when I am sober, and happy( most of the time unless that voice that tells you to have a drink) people don't call me. I am like you....I set limits and I feel terrible when I can't keep them. It makes me upset because I do not want to be 26 with a drinking problem. But I am....and I have to deal with it. And the people who really love and care about you should want the best for you. Always remember misery wants company.
It is hard. Do your friends know that you have a problem? I dont really want to tell my friends that I do. I mean I think some of them may kind of notice that I do get pretty drunk somtimes, but a lot of them do too. It's weird because I know a LOT of people have a way more severe habit than I do. I usually only drink once or twice a week, and it's not EVERY time that i get really hammered, but it is enough to make me worried about it. Probly three times a month most months. I am starting to worry about my health. I'm only 25, and I hope that if i stop now, I wont have any drinking related health risks later on. Whenever i wake up with a hangover, i just realize what the alchohal is acually doing to my body. Our bodies are trying to TELL us somthing when we have a hangover, so why is it that we can't listen, or we do then we forget?
Thankyou for your message. It helps a lot to know that there are other people struggling with the same thing. Do you find that when you don't drink, you are not as comfortable in situations where you don't know as many people? I feel like i loosten up when i have a couple of drinks, i can chat away to anyone, but without, i feel awkward unless i know the people quite well. The problem isnt the couple drinks i have just to loosen up, it's the 8 out of 10 times that i can't stop at a couple.
Well, all i can say is that i think creating situations for yourself where your not as tempted to drink would help. But it's like, I want to have an appitizer potluck at my house with some friends. I KNOW that it would be awkward if no one drank. I dont know. I dont have any answers for myself or anyone else yet about this. I thought the "4 drink" thing would be a solution....it HAS helped tho. I mean now that i know i have that limit, i can stick to it somtimes, where as before, i just would always have as many as i felt like. Oh well, we'll see!
Thankyou for your message. It helps a lot to know that there are other people struggling with the same thing. Do you find that when you don't drink, you are not as comfortable in situations where you don't know as many people? I feel like i loosten up when i have a couple of drinks, i can chat away to anyone, but without, i feel awkward unless i know the people quite well. The problem isnt the couple drinks i have just to loosen up, it's the 8 out of 10 times that i can't stop at a couple.
Well, all i can say is that i think creating situations for yourself where your not as tempted to drink would help. But it's like, I want to have an appitizer potluck at my house with some friends. I KNOW that it would be awkward if no one drank. I dont know. I dont have any answers for myself or anyone else yet about this. I thought the "4 drink" thing would be a solution....it HAS helped tho. I mean now that i know i have that limit, i can stick to it somtimes, where as before, i just would always have as many as i felt like. Oh well, we'll see!
Also, Steph, i think it's good that we're realizing this now, while we're still young. Even the fact that we realize the problem will help I think. The same goes for anyone though. Realizing the problem probly helps us not to drink AS much anyways.
Most of my friends don't think or know I have a problem. I can adapt to any situation. I have lots of friends that drink but they all drink differently. I don't want to say anything to any of them about quitting, I just want to do it on my own. My drinking has changed over the years. I wish I would have recognized it when I was 25 or 26. Addicts can hide their addiction very well. I recently ran a marathon. No one would think that someone who trains and runs as much as me would have a drinking problem. You can have a problem even if you don't drink every day or drink in excess every time you drink. As time goes on though you have to realize if drinking has caused problems in your life or if you are not the person you want to be because of drinking (like wasting a day feeling like crap and not doing anything because you drank the night before). I do have a friend that I can drink a lot in front of but I would never act that way with anyone else, it's like our little secret. Be honest with yourself. Don't wait till you've been drinking 20 years to do something about it.
