I Did It...

Last night I confronted my boyfriend... it felt like a 3 hour rollercoaster ride.

When I got to his house, I didnt think I would be strong enough to say what i had to say ... as I walked into his house, I could hear him doing lines in the bathroom which made me mad enough to gain strength.

Anyway... I don't know if anything that I said had any impact on him but in the moments of silence we had, I held his hand and silently prayed for him. Somehow he believes he can do this on his own... he "doesn't want to do coke anymore but he cant just stop in a day". I told him that it's going to hurt him to stop... that he needs someone there and he needs to get that help or he's going to lose me in the process. Throughout the conversation, I reminded him that I love him so much. I didn't want any part of him to doubt that. I told him that this conversation might not even make a difference right not but somewhere down the road he's going to remember "that girl Jesse" and how much she cared for him. I honestly don't know where to go from here. I told him that i cannot be around him with this dirty habit that he has. When you have negative in your life, it stops the positive form entering. I told him he needs to eliminate those negative people he has in his life and gravitate towards what's positive and great things will happen for him but until he figures that out, I cannot have him as "my negative".

I left crying... weak...and confused. I guess only time will tell and the only thing I can do now is pray for him. I want to say Thank you again for everyone's loving advice. Without that advice, I would not have been strong enough to stand my ground. I wouldnt have the knowledge of the illness and wouldve ended up back at square one.

May God bless you and keep you.

Jesse
WELL DONE tough love is hard but sometimes its the only thing that works. Good luck to u xxx
Jesse,
What you did is really hard and I'm proud of you! Maybe this is what it will take for him to open his eyes, who knows? But you did the right thing, as hard as it is, nothing is worse than watching someone you love slowly kill themselves! Keep us posted!
Good work, Jesse.

Now, go date. But date intelligently, meet new guys at places you know addicts are not around. Seriously, intelligent dating is the best therapy to overcome an addiction to an addicted lover. And make the dating stick, I mean, do it with the idea of finding someone normal. You will meet a whole new world of sensible, moral men, they do exist.

If that boyfriend ever calls, you tell him that when he is in recovery, then he may go back on to your dating list, but not until then.