Today was the first friday of work after summer holidays (I'm a teacher) Some co workers wanted me to come out to the pub with them after work, it would have been fun, I get along with these people but don't get to see that much of them. I said maybee knowing full well that I wasn't going to show up; I didn't want to tell them I can't drink. It seems like like a rip off that I can't participate in outings like this... On the other hand maybee I'm being selfish and ungrateful for the fact that I'm six months sober....
I didn't post on the "grateful" thread because I wasn't feeling very grateful and I didn't post on the "didn't drink because" thread since I wasn't quite sure why I didn't drink so I started this thread and rambled for a while... I guess I'm venting a little.... oh well
one day at a time... Cookster
Hi Cookster,
Yes my freind I know the feeling of feeling "Ripped Off" I was like that for a long time myself, and still are at times, You done well by not going to the pub, I tried to go to the pub with my mates after I stopped drinking, But It wasnt the same for me, I felt like I was letting them down by drinking Cola,
I still find it hard to walk into a hotel now for dinner even,, as I feel odd one out?
And thats now even in a new country with new mates,
I dont reckon we will ever get over that feeling.
Take car , have a good weekend, I have a 7 hr drive to Canada then off for a couple of weeks, Ginge
Yes my freind I know the feeling of feeling "Ripped Off" I was like that for a long time myself, and still are at times, You done well by not going to the pub, I tried to go to the pub with my mates after I stopped drinking, But It wasnt the same for me, I felt like I was letting them down by drinking Cola,
I still find it hard to walk into a hotel now for dinner even,, as I feel odd one out?
And thats now even in a new country with new mates,
I dont reckon we will ever get over that feeling.
Take car , have a good weekend, I have a 7 hr drive to Canada then off for a couple of weeks, Ginge
Hi Cookster,
I think we all feel that twinge of resentment that others can actually have "just one," and be done; that they can take it or leave it. For me, I could have one, but it'd last for days sometimes--weeks even--and I'd tell myself I could get it back into the bag but, alas, I'd end up being sick, tired, hungover, spending so much money on my addiction (wine the last time), and forsaking EVERYTHING and everyone that I'd almost wish I could chew my hands off. Likely I'd have found a straw, though...
:)
I've had to change my playfriends, playgrounds, and playthings in an effort to stay sober because I like my serentity and inner peace so very very much. PLUS I know good and damned well I could lose it all by going 'back out there.' I tried everything known to an intelligent alcoholic to drink like Normals (NORMAL is the setting on a dryer!), but I was so good at it I could drink WAY more. ;)
I have nothing to hide, and the people that I respect and call my friends knew long before I admitted it that I had a problem. I just tell them, "I got DAMNED good at drinking so I've got to try something else, but thanks for the invitation--tell me how it turns out."
Most already know, anyway. They can tell by my skin, my eyes, my demeanor, my sense of peace. Yeah. They know....
I think we all feel that twinge of resentment that others can actually have "just one," and be done; that they can take it or leave it. For me, I could have one, but it'd last for days sometimes--weeks even--and I'd tell myself I could get it back into the bag but, alas, I'd end up being sick, tired, hungover, spending so much money on my addiction (wine the last time), and forsaking EVERYTHING and everyone that I'd almost wish I could chew my hands off. Likely I'd have found a straw, though...
:)
I've had to change my playfriends, playgrounds, and playthings in an effort to stay sober because I like my serentity and inner peace so very very much. PLUS I know good and damned well I could lose it all by going 'back out there.' I tried everything known to an intelligent alcoholic to drink like Normals (NORMAL is the setting on a dryer!), but I was so good at it I could drink WAY more. ;)
I have nothing to hide, and the people that I respect and call my friends knew long before I admitted it that I had a problem. I just tell them, "I got DAMNED good at drinking so I've got to try something else, but thanks for the invitation--tell me how it turns out."
Most already know, anyway. They can tell by my skin, my eyes, my demeanor, my sense of peace. Yeah. They know....
Thanks for the replies guys, it was good to hear back from people who undersood what I was talking about. Yes its a pain in the butt to not be "normal" when it comes to booze, but I can't change the fact that me and alcohol are not a good combination. oh well.... say the serenity prayer and move on....
one day at a time.... Cookster
one day at a time.... Cookster
Gidday Everyone
Think the drink through and then remember the damage that the last drink caused....Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerfull, it works on confidance and self esteem like davinchi on a painting, it has all the time in the world and is willing to wait for alone time negatively in our heads.
I used to feel uncomfortable and not able to explain why i dont drink without doing the big story etc then i realised honesty starts with me and if i cant be honest with myself or others because my selfesteem (in my minds negative corner at the time all this was a dilema), was low and addiction was working its magic. I have to be honest with myself and stuff what anyone else thinks or more importantly what i think other people think about my life.
After awhile people stopped asking if i didnt turn up and now i have better things to do and the times that i do go, i think good on the ones that are having fun and there but for the grace of God go i, for the ones that arent
light and love Zac
Think the drink through and then remember the damage that the last drink caused....Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerfull, it works on confidance and self esteem like davinchi on a painting, it has all the time in the world and is willing to wait for alone time negatively in our heads.
I used to feel uncomfortable and not able to explain why i dont drink without doing the big story etc then i realised honesty starts with me and if i cant be honest with myself or others because my selfesteem (in my minds negative corner at the time all this was a dilema), was low and addiction was working its magic. I have to be honest with myself and stuff what anyone else thinks or more importantly what i think other people think about my life.
After awhile people stopped asking if i didnt turn up and now i have better things to do and the times that i do go, i think good on the ones that are having fun and there but for the grace of God go i, for the ones that arent
light and love Zac
Its me again...
Zak said....
After re reading this I think maybee part of the problem is that I still have trouble using the "a" word (alcoholic) I knew that I shouldn't go but I didn't like to admit why I shouldn't go..... food for thought..... thank you Zak
one day at a time, Cookster
Zak said....
| QUOTE |
| I used to feel uncomfortable and not able to explain why i dont drink without doing the big story etc then i realised honesty starts with me and if i cant be honest with myself or others |
After re reading this I think maybee part of the problem is that I still have trouble using the "a" word (alcoholic) I knew that I shouldn't go but I didn't like to admit why I shouldn't go..... food for thought..... thank you Zak
one day at a time, Cookster
Way to go Cookster!
