You know the truth of the matter is I'm at an end point here. I'm so tired and I'm trying ... I really am but I'm just really tired and I don't know if I can keep doing this.
I see you all getting in your fight mode and to tell ya the truth nothing is worth it. Really, we take sides but in the end it doesn't matter whose side we are on. What matters is our own truth. I mean this very much.
My heart is aching and I mean like daggers have hit it and gone on through. I feel people watching as I am bleeding out and I'm just so tired. I just want to let go.
So I can't do it right now okay? I'm feeling tender as I face a surgery head on in about a week and a half. I don't know what will happen. I know hard times might be ahead and so for now I'm not gonna say much more.
Except what you are fighting for is so not worth it. Is it to be right??? Hell I gave that up long ago. Life and death do that to a girl. Your fight however rightous and true is such a waste of time. Only there is love and getting along and the rest is a bunch of bulls***.
And if I die before I wake ....................... I pray you all will see your own self in my post and just simply let it go and be friends all around. Cuz I tell you the fighting and bickering and bulls*** is just not worth it. Life here is really short. If you don't understand anything get this:
Our lives here are short.
Make amends with everyone you know.
You don't know when your last breath will take place.
Be clear and trust the rest.
In love there is no right, no wrong. get this.
Work on yourselves.
Take care, goodbye and goodnite
PM
Dear PM,
That was a great post. You are right - this really needs to stop. You are such a sweet, kind person. I've never seen you judge or criticize anyone. You are always the peacemaker. God bless you for that.
Please, dont let this get the best of you. I'll be praying for you and your upcoming surgery. You are one of the people that we need very much to stay on this board. Please, try not to let it get you so down. This too shall pass.
Love,
Marie
That was a great post. You are right - this really needs to stop. You are such a sweet, kind person. I've never seen you judge or criticize anyone. You are always the peacemaker. God bless you for that.
Please, dont let this get the best of you. I'll be praying for you and your upcoming surgery. You are one of the people that we need very much to stay on this board. Please, try not to let it get you so down. This too shall pass.
Love,
Marie
Marie,
I just feel so sad for everyone. I mean s*** how much do we have to dish out take and try to peacemake here???
I found myself in tears. Just emotion of the moment and I mostly felt sad for everyone. It's just so not worth it. When you recognize the impermanence of life you want to reach for love before all else. I just want peace here.
I'll be alright. It's just energy in motion. Thank God I'm not stuck with it but can feel it and let it go.
Thank God I don't want any Oxy either. Maybe I'm done there.
Peace
PM
I just feel so sad for everyone. I mean s*** how much do we have to dish out take and try to peacemake here???
I found myself in tears. Just emotion of the moment and I mostly felt sad for everyone. It's just so not worth it. When you recognize the impermanence of life you want to reach for love before all else. I just want peace here.
I'll be alright. It's just energy in motion. Thank God I'm not stuck with it but can feel it and let it go.
Thank God I don't want any Oxy either. Maybe I'm done there.
Peace
PM
HELLO SWEETIE im still not feeling well but i love you and dont you go anywhere without me or i will follew you and the rest will come rite with you we all need you and want you to be happy Ifor one think your specil here sleep well my little angel sent to me ill keep you save with a prayer yspearing
PM, you know how loved you are. Wish you'd come and talk. I so hate that you're feeling this way. Love you, Kat
PM, great post. It is certain that not everyone will get along. But recovery is a very touchy thing. Some get it their own way, but bashing anyone isn't going to solve anything, IMHO.
I hope your surgery goes well. I will pray for you. And once again, I am so sorry to hear your loss. I will never know what that feels like.
Hang strong, and keep your chin up. I admire your courage and wisdom.
And isn't it great to not even crave when things are messed up? I love it when I face something, and drinking and pills just aren't an option. Before they would be a necesstiy, but things are obviously changing.
kerry
I hope your surgery goes well. I will pray for you. And once again, I am so sorry to hear your loss. I will never know what that feels like.
Hang strong, and keep your chin up. I admire your courage and wisdom.
And isn't it great to not even crave when things are messed up? I love it when I face something, and drinking and pills just aren't an option. Before they would be a necesstiy, but things are obviously changing.
kerry
hi pmom
remember me - crystal?
i loved your post and the last thing i am looking for is conflict i create enough of that in myself!!
i understand what you dont like about something or someone is most likely what you dont like about yourself.....
sounds like you are going through rough times right now i am sorry
i hope you will see light soon and your post was all nice and warm and i didnt read any of the 'bickering' i hope i dont come across it!
fondly
crystal
remember me - crystal?
i loved your post and the last thing i am looking for is conflict i create enough of that in myself!!
i understand what you dont like about something or someone is most likely what you dont like about yourself.....
sounds like you are going through rough times right now i am sorry
i hope you will see light soon and your post was all nice and warm and i didnt read any of the 'bickering' i hope i dont come across it!
fondly
crystal
Crystal,
Good to see you dear.. How are you doing???? Hope you are still in recovery and well.
Yspearing,
Don't worry. I'm okay. Think I just got saturated in negative stuff yesterday.
Kat,
Thanks for both your posts. I haven't felt much like chatting. I'm sure you'll see me one day.
Kerry,
I know people bicker and fight. I just got covered in it and it's hard when ya love everyone to watch the dance or people being outright mean. I can fight the good fight but I rarely see it actually be worth it.
Anyway, today's a new day and I'm focused on other things and am okay. I hope you all are in recovery and doing what it takes to stay clean. I know sometimes the road is a little rough and I wish you well.
PM
Good to see you dear.. How are you doing???? Hope you are still in recovery and well.
Yspearing,
Don't worry. I'm okay. Think I just got saturated in negative stuff yesterday.
Kat,
Thanks for both your posts. I haven't felt much like chatting. I'm sure you'll see me one day.
Kerry,
I know people bicker and fight. I just got covered in it and it's hard when ya love everyone to watch the dance or people being outright mean. I can fight the good fight but I rarely see it actually be worth it.
Anyway, today's a new day and I'm focused on other things and am okay. I hope you all are in recovery and doing what it takes to stay clean. I know sometimes the road is a little rough and I wish you well.
PM
