I been with my husband for 11 years.We have three children 9 6 and 9 months.I think no I pretty much know he has a problem with coke. We recently had to move and he admitted he had a problem but he said he stopped doing it.But as we settled in the new house his normal routine is happening again he always has to go some where. He has a story for everything he does.You never know when he is telling the truth or lying. Now I have his brother here cuase he had no where to go . I think he has a problem with too. There smoking it. Recently I found the stuff in my basement where his brother is staying. I confronted my husband about it and he said it was his brothers. See one always blames the other. You can never get the truth. I dont know what to do I am at the point where I'm constantly on him always thinking about it, nagging him. I dont want to feel like this anymore. I just want things to be normal again. I know that i should leave or get him to leave I just dont know how to go about it. I know he should go to rehab but we dont have insurance. And I wouldent know how to get him to agree with that.
please any suggestions
I think the first thing would be for your husband to admit he has a problem if you can get that from him that to be honest there is little you can do. Just sit down and tell him you will work though it together and he won't be alone, maybe if he knows that he'll be honest with you, nagging really doesn't do much good as I am sure you are finding out. Good Luck
Ms penny is right... nagging does not work...give him an ultimatum, not about his drug use but about his recovery...for instance, instead of saying " it is either quit drugs or leave", say you either get treatment or ..." and then you must follow through. It is important for us as addicts to feel the consequences of our addiction, until we do we will continue to use, lie and manipulate. Have you ever heard of Nar-anon, or Al- anon? This is a support group for friends and family members of people that suffer from the disease of addiction. They have a website if you want more info. You need to help yourself before you can help them. This support group will give you the proper tools and techniques to successfully deal with the person that has the illness. It will also put you in touch with others that are going through the same thing as you.
Thank you for your responses. I think things are finally going in the right direction. He admitted to having a problem. He wants to get help in fact he went to a meeting tonight. Well see how it goes . But he does not want to tell me everything yet .
Becoming totally honest as an addict is foreign, if he is taking small steps and opening up more than its a beginning. Just 6 weeks ago I started being totally honest with my wife as she has known I have had a pill problem for many years. I find her support invaluable but I was afraid at first. If he is staying or has a desire to be clean let him know you will support him and when he is honest dont blow up at him or he will retreat right back into himself. The difficult ting is in your case and in my opinion coke is the drug from hell as it screw up the seratonin receptors in the brain and the crashes and the desire for the next fix is unbelievable. tho it can be done I did it 8 years ago or so for 6 months went to rehab and havent touched the stuff since. Good luck also try alanon Ray
Dear Tab,
I'm sorry you're forced to be in this situation. My husband and I were also forced to be by our son's addiction. If I was in your situation, I believe I would find out what help is available through your county or state. There is usually free rehab available. Then I would approach your husband with that information and say that you love him and you will support him every step of the way through his rehab, but you can't continue to live like this. Then pray, pray, pray! I'm not saying that's the right approach...it's what I would do. God bless! I care and understand what you're going through!
Love,
Susan
I'm sorry you're forced to be in this situation. My husband and I were also forced to be by our son's addiction. If I was in your situation, I believe I would find out what help is available through your county or state. There is usually free rehab available. Then I would approach your husband with that information and say that you love him and you will support him every step of the way through his rehab, but you can't continue to live like this. Then pray, pray, pray! I'm not saying that's the right approach...it's what I would do. God bless! I care and understand what you're going through!
Love,
Susan
hey tab, i know what are going through. i live through it everyday. i hope he goes through with rehab, it is the only way. i cannot give advice because i know what i need to do, but i dont. one day i will be strong enough to leave this situation. i hope. take care.