I Dont See A Story Like Mine. Please Help

Methadone
1
I have been researching for two days with no ssuccess.I realize that everybody is not the same, but I would like some advice on what to expect when withdrawing from methadone. My story in short. Age 27, using opiates since age 18. My habit got to about 120mg daily of oxy for about 5 years. I then started suboxon 16mg daily for 2 years, and decreasing the last two years. I detoxed at home. I got to 16 days and landed in ER for vomiting blood. I lived in a remote area with no detox centers. Hence I started methadone maintenance, due to getting me in quickly. I have been there for 3 months at 40mg to start. I came down to 30 within the 1st month and planed on decreasing again. I truly didn't want to be on it for long, and knew I probably would have better success with less time on it. My current problem is due to moving to a new state one week ago. And the new clinic doing a horrible job with info, and paperwork. I have now been without methadone for 5days and have to get through 2 more before they can see me. This is sudden, and not a planned detox. I am not sleeping well, and restless legs. Nothing I can't handle.,,,yet! Should I expect worse? I am alone, in a new place and have no withdrawal eases such as vitamins, or medications. My mind is racing, and I need some advice. Any reply would be welcomed and appreciated. Thanks
2
Hi I was brand new to methadone in March my hats off to you guys that have been on this for years. I down dosed to 3 mg and fractured my shoulder and got prescribed percocets this all started on June 22,2016. I was clueless to all of the precipated withdrawals just made a huge mistake on doing my research I was desperate to get off of herion at the time. I'm now on day 11 since this all began I have been to the Er because I thought my heart was gonna bust it was beating so fast and I also sat in detox for 1 day. Yesterday I got a few Orange Subutex and I'm breaking those to small pieces and that's really the only relief that I have had and the only sleep I had since Thursday. I suggest that take the advice from the people that have detoxed successfully and do a lot of research. I'm very disappointed in myself for jumping into methadone without learning about it first. I am very grateful that it worked to get me off of herion I can't lie I'm scared to feel the withdrawal without Subutex
3
Gsx. Ang....not sure since everyone's chemistry is different..but 3 months shouldn't be too bad coming off methdone...im calculating nothing more than what any of us have already gone through with dope...possibly less...just longer in ways...not sure of course with everything already over the years in your system...since your body is gonna have to get rid of it eventually...if you've got access to dope...u probably can get something for the pain and ride it out...I came off almost 9 years of methadone in April ...from heroin habit before...took morphine and doxepin to get through. ..it hurt and it was crap like every other home detox...but nothing special in the kick...except ..it's kind of like riding an old blotter acid wave...you feel it leaving in waves...will come and go after the heavy...legs still bug me even now..and nose still runs..chills sweats etc..but it gets less...you plan on going back on methadone after relocating ? Methadone saved my frking life so I'm good with it...I got jumped otherwise I probably wouldn't ever come off..might still go back on..can't keep away from the dope anymore...wishing you both well and a safe detox.....
4
Constantine no I'm not planning on going back there and I'm sure it saved my life too.. I plan to be on recovery after this is over as I was before I relapsed..
5
Wishing u strength Ang...take care

Con
6
Thank you for your advice, and time for posting. I have been trying to decide if I even want to go back to clinic on Tuesday? I have been on a roller coaster of emotions, feelings, cravings, and thoughts. Due to no sleep I have been reading a lot of forums, and gained great knowledge and perspective. Also called detox centers for info and made a plan outlining meds for symptoms. I have tried to turn this situation of pure hell into a "maybe this had to happen" thought. My attitude/temper on Wednesday was making me freak myself out due to being so mad at the clinic. I was panicking before symptoms stared and went down hill from there. I have been trying to drink water, and I took some tylenol so that I could get to the store to buy items for home remedies. This is a two mile walk and I took forever to get there, but I went. These are my worst symptoms...legs are sore and restless, fever with some chills, sensitive to sudden sounds(new) and expectations for symptoms to worsen . I know that as the time goes on my will power might come and go. And that is what I fear. If it hadn't been for my vomiting blood last detox, would I have made it? I don't know but as of now I have the same mental state. Will I regret going to clinic tomorrow? If I do go, could they monitor my first dose to give me as little as possible? To wrap....even if no one replys, I would like to read this tomorrow when I decide.
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Gsx...relax....breathe....the withdrawals may not get any worse...or if they do...you can deal with them...I promise...your a opiate addict. ..we do wds...though sensitivity to noise was something I don't think hit me...I hate noise anyways...but unbelievably when I put my earphones on...it helped ...alot....don't know much about subs so can't answer that one...but if your heading to the clinic tomorrow talk to them...no idea if they will level you a dose ..all u can do is ask...don't fear the detox...it's a kick....ya..it's going to play crazy with your head for alittle bit...but stick the earbuds in and come here and write it out...it helps...and the crazy train doesn't last...it's all part of the kick...it passes...you can ride it out...wishing you a safe detox...it's never about the kick gmx...it's what comes after its done is when it gets hard...all the best to you...

con
8
All I can say is that every day you make it without is one step to never having to again. Advil and all the stomach meds you can get the better. My son had to be IV'd twice during withdrawals for vomiting. They gave him eventually 2 different kinds of anti nausea pills and that was the world of difference.
He is still noticing slight things at week 3 but the first week was the worst. Second remarkably better. You got this!!

ps. every body is different you are right. he tapered quick. It sounds like you are doing great!
9
Posting/reading is keeping me occupied which helps and redirects my focus for some time. The good news is that I was able to sleep after walking to the store. It was only for 3-4 hours but welcomed. And it came after taking the otc meds and a very hot bath. The bad news is its the 4th of July and fireworks are going like crazy. Every time my heart feels as if it skipped a beat, and a quick zap runs down my spine. This is one I have never had before. Is this anxiety? I have never been diagnosed with it. Has anyone else suffered from this in wd?
10
Ya...anxiety...depression...sleeplessness...the works...odd ticks and tremors.... peoples voices ...joints hurting...rls...sweats...chills...stomach cramps...stomach everything...and your head feels like it's going sideways...same s*** different opiate...occupy your head space best u can...find a place to lay...limbs will feel heavy and you will have no energy...it passes ...all of it...it's all about endurance in a methadone kick...but nothing new..every kick is basically the same as every kick is different. ..ride it out
11
Oh jeez, yes I'm at home hearing the fireworks now..for me sensitivity to sound came later but when did..EVERY little thing would make me jolt up as if we were in a state of emergency. Heart racing, panic..yeah it's definitely a form of anxiety but will definitely pass. Do what con said and put on headphones/music..takes the other noise away and it helps!!!!! Hang in there... -Mary
12
It's going to get way worse. I tapered to 5 mg and then stopped. After day 7, I wanted to put a gun in my mouth. I didn't want to go get high, I just wanted to stop feeling like I was dying. Today, I want back to the clinic, took my 5 mg and am finally calm inside. I didn't realise it was doing more for my mind as well as body. I'm not sure why getting off was so important. I was working, happy and doing well. I thought is was me making all that happen. No, it's the methadone. I'm going back to happy.
13
Magic.... you just put tears in my eyes...I swear to God I don't know why I just won't go back on my dose...I was doing well...happy...and I'm struggling so hard again it's making me crazy...I can't stop the noise. ..

Con
14
Magic and Con, I KNOW that brain torture!! I felt same had a place/job lost all of it getting off this s***. I thought wtf..why is s*** getting worse when I'm trying to make a good Change. I honestly don't know how I didn't end up in hospital I had lost so much touch with reality. I think only reason is because I had people with me that calmed me through time. it's exactly two and half years later off, I'll be honest..I haven't got the motivation back I had..it's been little by little. Though I am not truly happy..but wasn't on methadone either..it's just different. I AM beyond happy I made that decision though..everything is more real now, if that makes sense. Sometimes a bad thing but sometimes a wonderful thing.. just do what/when you feel is right when making that leap... best wishes.. -Mary
15
Con, your off right? I can't tell you how many times I thought and said that. Yelled it to someone..I just wanted to feel 'normal' just try try to get those thoughts out of head..it will get better. I know that's almost an annoying thing to hear when doesn't seem like will. But it does...
16
Thanks MK...funny...your initials/name are the same as my actual name...ya...im off the methadone. ..it's not been a good ride...I miss being able to function like I guess normal people function. .it feels like I'm losing my mind. .but..I think sometimes the ability to feel in depth again is a good thing. .to be me again ...on the dose I was someone else...that probably doesn't make much sense in a way...im just finding it really hard ..didn't think about dope on my dose...and now...feels like square one again...it's a mind fck...im off 3 months now and can't seem to find a balance...thanks for the input...I hope the hell it does get better. ..I'm trying hard to stay away from the dope but everyday it's a struggle. ..
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Con, yeah that makes sense..I (thought) I felt like me..but everything was just dulled slightly I guess. So now I think is it NORMAL to cry or laugh this much. Well maybe it is or isn't i just hadn't known that 'me' in so long, but that's who it is. Three months off I was back and forth with feeling crazy but definitely when my anger and mood swings peaked. went back to work at three months off..so was doing better, got fired four months later. I blame quitting methadone but whether it was a direct impact or not I guess is irrelevant. It (for me) was just long f***ing rollercoaster. I didn't so much have urge to get high, I just wanted to feel normal...which I guess would have been getting high, but I somehow pushed those thoughts aside. I do remember taking a huge swig from my friends water bottle of vodka at a couple months off. I hadn't had a drop in seven years..felt like I got hit with a tranquilizer long enough to calm me for a minute. Normal for a second..but I know alcohol keeps me far from that. I remember showering one morning and wondering if I'd taken my dose. Wtf, I had been off for?? Anyway that actually RELIEVED me. In my mind I thought I was back to 'normal' because of that..sounds weird I'm sure. Anyway I'm kinda babbling now..stay strong like you have been... Mary (oh yeah Kat is short for my middle name) :)

18
Hello....I just wanted to updated. On tuesday I walked out of the methadone clinic and went into detox center. I couldn't do it....because I saw a very bleak future. A patient that was outside offered to get/buy my dose. As well as make contact for other stuff. I couldn't believe it... And drove me fling crazy. I lost it right in the clinic. Now I am back at home, but still dealing with the mental aspect mostly. I still have aches and pains but I really am trying to deal with my mind. Thanks for listening
19
Hi GSX
Ya..you can get most anything in the line if your looking....and ya again the crazy is hard...glad your detox wasn't ...isn't....too bad...there are bad days and good ones. ...but for the most part I'm glad to be off too...good to hear from you...


Con
20
Mk...did the same thing the other day...on way to work and suddenly thought. .oh crap I forgot my dose...and panicked. .until I realized I didn't have one anymore...definitely a wtf moment !

Con