my boyfriend has been in rehab since last wednesday,i fone him visit each allowed time,am there for him all the time but wen i foned today one of his mates in the unit answered and told me he was having a bad day, it must be bad as we didnt speak, i am so worried about him, he has been a heroin addict 15 years and this is his first serious volantary detox for himself. i just feel so helpless and wish i could hold n hug him till it was all over, after these 3 weeks he is moving area but i can get there and he will be there for 6 months, its a long journey but there is light at the end of his dark tunnel... i miss him so much and he never tells me its so bad even tho i can hear it in his voice... how do i keep myself motivated to motivate him without getting upset. i cant sleep r eat r concentrate, its his first bad day and mine...
Andi
He,s on the right road,n,thats the main thing,to be honest i,m very surprised that this is his 1st bad day and you shoulda been expecting this as should he..Best thing maybe is to leave him be but just leave a message iwith the unit saying that youve phonedand are rooting for him andask the unit how he is,they may not be allowed to tell you much though they should be able to tell you that things are going as expected etc.
It sounds like he has thought about this or someone who has set this up has thought about it in the fact that he,s detoxing then moving straight on somewhere else to do his rehab.Yup,it sounds quite a good way to be doing this and i wish you both all the very best..Where are you,s by the way??If you dont mind me asking...Eck..
He,s on the right road,n,thats the main thing,to be honest i,m very surprised that this is his 1st bad day and you shoulda been expecting this as should he..Best thing maybe is to leave him be but just leave a message iwith the unit saying that youve phonedand are rooting for him andask the unit how he is,they may not be allowed to tell you much though they should be able to tell you that things are going as expected etc.
It sounds like he has thought about this or someone who has set this up has thought about it in the fact that he,s detoxing then moving straight on somewhere else to do his rehab.Yup,it sounds quite a good way to be doing this and i wish you both all the very best..Where are you,s by the way??If you dont mind me asking...Eck..
Not being able to eat, sleep, concentrate isn't a good sign for your own health.
He is in a safe place, what will be there will be up to him totally, including how he looks at it all. It will not be an easy road, but it isn't suppose to be because he will have a lot of feelings to process and a lot of damage to undo. There is really a good place for him to do this. He is far from alone there, and will be with others who understand just what he is going through...
You can be supportive, cheer him on, but from there it will be all up to him.
You are a crossroad yourself, with the immediate addiction removed this gives you time to work on you, catch your breathe, find some support for yourself and you will need that support. There is damage done as well watching and an sickness that takes over us.
My husband is a recovering heroin addict, living in that insanity is not so easy, not without its own fair share of insanity. I was a bit crazy, obsessed, ran by fear and worry ... a desperate, helpless place....really it was no good for my soul. I remember him going to talk to his doctor and honestly I looked worse than he did. It took him years to be somewhat ok and then even more to be accepting of who he was...took me years as well of work on myself to be ok, and now I am way more than just ok.
Please educated yourself on addiction, on enabling, on codependency. Get some support, go to any family stuff the rehab offers for you not for him. As I said he is in a good place, and just by your immediate reaction you might it to yourself to find out why you feel as you do...
Take good care of you!
Tina
He is in a safe place, what will be there will be up to him totally, including how he looks at it all. It will not be an easy road, but it isn't suppose to be because he will have a lot of feelings to process and a lot of damage to undo. There is really a good place for him to do this. He is far from alone there, and will be with others who understand just what he is going through...
You can be supportive, cheer him on, but from there it will be all up to him.
You are a crossroad yourself, with the immediate addiction removed this gives you time to work on you, catch your breathe, find some support for yourself and you will need that support. There is damage done as well watching and an sickness that takes over us.
My husband is a recovering heroin addict, living in that insanity is not so easy, not without its own fair share of insanity. I was a bit crazy, obsessed, ran by fear and worry ... a desperate, helpless place....really it was no good for my soul. I remember him going to talk to his doctor and honestly I looked worse than he did. It took him years to be somewhat ok and then even more to be accepting of who he was...took me years as well of work on myself to be ok, and now I am way more than just ok.
Please educated yourself on addiction, on enabling, on codependency. Get some support, go to any family stuff the rehab offers for you not for him. As I said he is in a good place, and just by your immediate reaction you might it to yourself to find out why you feel as you do...
Take good care of you!
Tina
Tina nailed it, you need to work on you..each time my son goes to jail I find that it is really about me, I can build a healthier me or worry, fret and stew about him, and his pain, his woes..doesnt do either one of us an ounce of good
