I got a phone call from my younger brother yesterday, he was (I think) reaching out for help. He is an alcoholic. I always knew he drank a lot, but I guess I was in denial of the problem. He mentioned that he was waking up a night with cold sweats and hearing/seeing things.... I told him that too much drinking will do that to you... he replied that yes he did drink too much on his days "out" (he works in camp, one week in, one week out), but he doesn't drink the week that he is in camp working and doesn't seem to have a problem not drinking when he is at work.... He said he is looking for an in town job so that he would only have weekends off, and could probably control his drinking ..... I told him that the problem is probably inside him and it might still be there even if he gets a new job.... I shared some of my storey (he knows I have had to stop drinking) ...he mentioned that he isn't capable of much the first day or two when he goes to camp.... he has the shakes and talking is difficult..... he mentioned that he drinks 50 ounces or more of hard liquor a day on his days off... I told him he was going to die if he didn't stop....
He seemed to be a little shaken that he was seeing things and getting the shakes, he also seemed to be scared by the amount that he was drinking; hearing me restate the obvious maybee made it more real, I hope so. He lives 20 hours by car from where I live, I wish I were closer.... I'm glad that I have quit and can hold that example up for him, other than that all I can hope for is that he finds his "bottom" and starts on his way up..... I wish I could do more....
one day at a time, Cookster
Hi Cookster,
Sounds like when your brother comes off the booze he is experiencing withdrawal...delirium tremors and hallucinations, plus the night sweats...he may need medical attention...I know I had to seek it when I first got sober. I believe, yes, that alcoholism and addiction is a disease, and that it does run in families...I know it runs in mine.
Take good care.
Geri
Sounds like when your brother comes off the booze he is experiencing withdrawal...delirium tremors and hallucinations, plus the night sweats...he may need medical attention...I know I had to seek it when I first got sober. I believe, yes, that alcoholism and addiction is a disease, and that it does run in families...I know it runs in mine.
Take good care.
Geri
Gidday Cookster
You are closer to your brother, because you care and you love him and he too knows you are there and care because he rang you, the seed is planted in his recovery journey and sometimes a bit of distance actually helps because he has to do the leg work.
Hope is in our voices and our eyes and smiles.....people who need to see this and hear the hope are attracted to it and to quote you Cookster "one day at a time" they can enjoy it as well.
Thanks for being there
Light and love Zac
You are closer to your brother, because you care and you love him and he too knows you are there and care because he rang you, the seed is planted in his recovery journey and sometimes a bit of distance actually helps because he has to do the leg work.
Hope is in our voices and our eyes and smiles.....people who need to see this and hear the hope are attracted to it and to quote you Cookster "one day at a time" they can enjoy it as well.
Thanks for being there
Light and love Zac
Thanks VW & Zak,
I do feel sick about being faced with the extent of my brother's problem (50 + ounces a day... jeeezus!) But like you said Zak he did reach out to me, so that's a positive, all I can do is wait to see what he does with it and be there for him..... (as much as I would like to go there and slap it out of him, I know that just wouldn't work....) I'm hoping that this is his bottom and that he will head back up..... I'm making arrangements to go a see him at Christmas holidays..
Any way it's
one day at a time, Cookster
I do feel sick about being faced with the extent of my brother's problem (50 + ounces a day... jeeezus!) But like you said Zak he did reach out to me, so that's a positive, all I can do is wait to see what he does with it and be there for him..... (as much as I would like to go there and slap it out of him, I know that just wouldn't work....) I'm hoping that this is his bottom and that he will head back up..... I'm making arrangements to go a see him at Christmas holidays..
Any way it's
one day at a time, Cookster
What has been working for me is our "sister" program Alanon and also Families Anonymous.
thanks VW, funny, I knew about al-anon but never thought about for myself....denial is a funny thing...but yes I will keep it in mind.....oh well I'll see how it goes,
one day at a time, Cookster
one day at a time, Cookster
For me, I have to be good to myself and take care of myself first and foremost, then I can reach out to others when I am healthy...this disease is so insidious, and we can't will someone sober, they gotta want it for themselves; I tried to that last year with my youngest daughter and drove myself nuts. So glad to see your posts, thank you for sharing also.
Hi VW, I'm glad for all the wisdon available on this board. Its nice to not have to face these kinds of things alone. Yes, I will have to take care of myself in order to be of any help to my brother.
Cookster
Cookster
Hi Cookster,
He is lucky he has you. I suppose with AA it is attraction rather than promotion and maybe when he sees what you have created in your life (serenity and peace) he might want some of that for himself. In my experience we have to reach our own rock bottoms before we first admit we have a problem and then go about seeking help and support for it. Hopefully the first steps to recovery are not too far away for him.
Ruthx
He is lucky he has you. I suppose with AA it is attraction rather than promotion and maybe when he sees what you have created in your life (serenity and peace) he might want some of that for himself. In my experience we have to reach our own rock bottoms before we first admit we have a problem and then go about seeking help and support for it. Hopefully the first steps to recovery are not too far away for him.
Ruthx
Hi, Cookster.
Even though we don't chatter alot, I appreciate your insight. I have an olderbrother that has pretty much destroyed his life--we're so fortunate to have role models--and he's White Knuckling it today. He's been dry for almost the same time as I've been sober and he did it 'cause he swore he didn't want me to,"Be preaching to him about the God stuff and nagging me an all that s&*@t." Ahh, brotherly love....
I guess whatever it takes. He'd go through a half-gallon of gin in a little over a day, so I can understand the shock. Hell, I quit drinking brown liquors and then all liquors because it kicked my butt too fast--I can't imagine his innards!
Anyhow, good luck. I'm convinced that all we can do is work The Program and become HOPE for the still suffering alcoholics. Hopelessness kills, I DO know that.
Keep coming back...
Even though we don't chatter alot, I appreciate your insight. I have an olderbrother that has pretty much destroyed his life--we're so fortunate to have role models--and he's White Knuckling it today. He's been dry for almost the same time as I've been sober and he did it 'cause he swore he didn't want me to,"Be preaching to him about the God stuff and nagging me an all that s&*@t." Ahh, brotherly love....
I guess whatever it takes. He'd go through a half-gallon of gin in a little over a day, so I can understand the shock. Hell, I quit drinking brown liquors and then all liquors because it kicked my butt too fast--I can't imagine his innards!
Anyhow, good luck. I'm convinced that all we can do is work The Program and become HOPE for the still suffering alcoholics. Hopelessness kills, I DO know that.
Keep coming back...
Hi Cookster,
Yes, It seems that there is a predisposition of an addiction gene that we can inherite according to studies I've read. And if we have been raised within a disfunctional family which many of us have, the odds are stacked against us. I'm personally raising the awareness within my own circles.
Your Brother sounds a bit frightened which is a good sign! His awareness to his unhealthyness is raising red flags. His symptoms he's experiencing should be checked by his Dr. Drinking large amounts of liqour one wk then the next wk. stopping is very hard on the heart and brain. I know I used to do this. My Dr. explained 3-5 days is the most dangerous detox period the acute phase. My Dr. gave me treatment options I chose the one I felt most appropriate.
I was so hoping during the Christmas break you would be able to spend time with him. Showing him that it's possible to live a whole new happy,healthy,sober way of life. When the mind has been poisned long enough,and the heart has mourned deeply the eyes will begin to open allowing the light to reach the spirit filling it with hope.
Love, Chris
Yes, It seems that there is a predisposition of an addiction gene that we can inherite according to studies I've read. And if we have been raised within a disfunctional family which many of us have, the odds are stacked against us. I'm personally raising the awareness within my own circles.
Your Brother sounds a bit frightened which is a good sign! His awareness to his unhealthyness is raising red flags. His symptoms he's experiencing should be checked by his Dr. Drinking large amounts of liqour one wk then the next wk. stopping is very hard on the heart and brain. I know I used to do this. My Dr. explained 3-5 days is the most dangerous detox period the acute phase. My Dr. gave me treatment options I chose the one I felt most appropriate.
I was so hoping during the Christmas break you would be able to spend time with him. Showing him that it's possible to live a whole new happy,healthy,sober way of life. When the mind has been poisned long enough,and the heart has mourned deeply the eyes will begin to open allowing the light to reach the spirit filling it with hope.
Love, Chris
Hi Chris,
thanks for your comments. It is an insidious disease isn't it. I think it has two sides, a physical (genetic) side and then an emotional side which is why it is sometimes called a disease of the soul. I'm sure the main reason he drinks is lonliness. I know that the dysfunctional fundamentalist tradition that we were brought up in is at least in part the cause of this.
I told him about the 3-5 day period being the peak of the detox process, I also told him that with the amount he drinks if he stops his body will go through the detox process, I also told him not to be afraid to talk to a doctor ...... he seemed to take it all seriously....
He also seemed quite interested in hearing about how things have been going for me since I quit... Like you, SKG and others have said, all I can really do for him is work my program and share my hope with him... If the roads are not too bad I will go and see him at Christmas....
one day at a time, Cookster
thanks for your comments. It is an insidious disease isn't it. I think it has two sides, a physical (genetic) side and then an emotional side which is why it is sometimes called a disease of the soul. I'm sure the main reason he drinks is lonliness. I know that the dysfunctional fundamentalist tradition that we were brought up in is at least in part the cause of this.
I told him about the 3-5 day period being the peak of the detox process, I also told him that with the amount he drinks if he stops his body will go through the detox process, I also told him not to be afraid to talk to a doctor ...... he seemed to take it all seriously....
He also seemed quite interested in hearing about how things have been going for me since I quit... Like you, SKG and others have said, all I can really do for him is work my program and share my hope with him... If the roads are not too bad I will go and see him at Christmas....
one day at a time, Cookster
