Hi, everyone
I have a question for you. My son has 96 days clean from heroin use as of today and has only missed 2 meetings due to illness in all that time, but he has had a few problems along the way. He started, without the doctor or our knowledge, to take his suboxone again. When he ran out and started to experience withdrawal and couldn't reach his doctor, he went out and bought 2 vicodin and 1 oxycontin. He owned up to it and said he knew it wasn't the best thing to do, but he needed something and that was what was available. He said, however, that he didn't break the time release, he just swallowed it rather than injecting like he used to do with his oxys and heroin. The doctor told him the oxys were bad, but he could call his regular doctor to get a few days worth of vicodin to get through the withdrawal. Well, nothing EVER goes easy for us these days, so of course his doctor was unavailable and the doctor on call didn't feel comfortable with prescribing the vicodin. We tried to reach the sub doctor, and he wasn't available either and he was the ONLY one in the area that can prescribe sub which would also have relieved my son's symptoms. Well, I bought him comtrex and kept trying to get both doctors on call to contact the doctors my son needed, but they couldn't reach them. My son, in severe pain and desperation, called a friend and went out to try to find some sub. He found an 8 mg sub and a 10 mg methadone, which he and the friend shared because they were both in need. Would this be considered a relapse and does he go back to day 1 again, or is it a little "bump" in the road and he keeps his count? I just haven't mentioned this to him, because I don't want him to feel badly, but I definitely want to celebrate his 100 days if we should be. Please help me figure this out. It might seem like a dumb question, but I'm not familiar with this whole thing.
Love,
Susan
Well I would say he hit a bump in the road due to withdrawl from sub. I wouldn't worry to much about it. What is he going to do now? Is he going back on sub with a doctor to supervise? How does he feel right now?
Hi, Rae
Yes, he's back on a minimal dose (4 mg/day) for a week, then to 2 mg/day for a week/ then to 1 mg/day for a week. It is medically supervised. I think the doctor wants him on naltrexone then. Thanks for asking. In my opinion, the fact that he's still 96 days of heroin and he hasn't returned to street drugs is what's important and we should still celebrate his 100 days, but I don't know if that's how it works or not. What do you think?
Love,
Susan
Yes, he's back on a minimal dose (4 mg/day) for a week, then to 2 mg/day for a week/ then to 1 mg/day for a week. It is medically supervised. I think the doctor wants him on naltrexone then. Thanks for asking. In my opinion, the fact that he's still 96 days of heroin and he hasn't returned to street drugs is what's important and we should still celebrate his 100 days, but I don't know if that's how it works or not. What do you think?
Love,
Susan
Susan, I can't answer your question for sure, but as a fellow mom would be inclined to say absolutely, celebrate the 100 days of no H and no needles!
You are still hanging in there, good lady, and you continue to awe many of us. TAke care of yourself, too!
Love, Carol
Thanks, Carol. I actually did get to an Alanon meeting (for myself) on Sunday night finally! It was well worth it! I intend to get there more often. The people were great!
Hope you're doing well. I haven't had the time to be on here very much to read up on everyone and I apologize for that, but you are all in my thoughts and prayers! God bless!
Love,
Susan
Hope you're doing well. I haven't had the time to be on here very much to read up on everyone and I apologize for that, but you are all in my thoughts and prayers! God bless!
Love,
Susan
Susan I dont want to rain on your party,but from what Ive been reading lately,Ive just had this feeling that your son needs to be careful.
I sort of got the feeling from reading your thread that his withdrawel seemed to be quite strong for coming off sub and I dont read of to many people going out to buy oxy etc,to help come off sub.....
Praying..........
I sort of got the feeling from reading your thread that his withdrawel seemed to be quite strong for coming off sub and I dont read of to many people going out to buy oxy etc,to help come off sub.....
Praying..........
and Susan I forgot to say in my post above,You are AWESOME,Im sure that if my Mum was still alive,she would be just like you,supporting me,but not taking any of my b.s. either.
Does your son ever come here,I dont think Ive ever seen him post.
Does your son ever come here,I dont think Ive ever seen him post.
Dear Phantom,
We've been concerned but he's not acting nearly like he had been before rehab. He just once in a while goes on a non-stop cleaning tangent that is very suspicious. His eyes don't look funny though. We thought it might be when he's taking the sub...or not taking it...I don't know. All I'm relaying is what he "says". God alone knows if it is true! Thanks for your prayers and concern. One day at a time! At least he's still going to meetings. That's the ONLY time he's away from the house without one of us.
Love,
Susan
We've been concerned but he's not acting nearly like he had been before rehab. He just once in a while goes on a non-stop cleaning tangent that is very suspicious. His eyes don't look funny though. We thought it might be when he's taking the sub...or not taking it...I don't know. All I'm relaying is what he "says". God alone knows if it is true! Thanks for your prayers and concern. One day at a time! At least he's still going to meetings. That's the ONLY time he's away from the house without one of us.
Love,
Susan
Hi Susan;
I so admire your strength in all that you've been dealing with! From what I read I guess my concerns are with your son's pattern of behavior. There seems to be suspicion on your part, and he has admitted to "playing doctor" with meds. Even is he's going to meetings his mind may be going elsewhere right now. Maybe not. Does he get tox screened periodically? Unannounced? Sometimes we need things to be black and white, and a drug test can do that for you. Living in the grey zone can be so difficult.
Just a thought. Take care of yourself.
Jim
I so admire your strength in all that you've been dealing with! From what I read I guess my concerns are with your son's pattern of behavior. There seems to be suspicion on your part, and he has admitted to "playing doctor" with meds. Even is he's going to meetings his mind may be going elsewhere right now. Maybe not. Does he get tox screened periodically? Unannounced? Sometimes we need things to be black and white, and a drug test can do that for you. Living in the grey zone can be so difficult.
Just a thought. Take care of yourself.
Jim
Dear Jim,
He has admitted to taking the sub and to going out to get something to relieve the withdrawal symptoms. Except for those 2 times, there really hasn't been any opportunity for him to get anything. He's with one of us all the time except for his NA meetings and counseling sessions, besides the two times he took off on us in anger saying he needed to get something. He owes us 80% of what he makes, which isn't much since he's only doing lawn work right now. Most of his 20% goes for cigarettes and eating out with his NA buddies after a meeting. I THINK he's doing okay now. He probably (almost definitely) wasn't taking the sub the way he was supposed to because he always doubles what the instructions say for any medication. Obviously, he can't control any of them!
Thanks for caring and please keep the prayers coming. Also, thanks for your kind remarks. It was good to hear from you.
Love,
Susan
He has admitted to taking the sub and to going out to get something to relieve the withdrawal symptoms. Except for those 2 times, there really hasn't been any opportunity for him to get anything. He's with one of us all the time except for his NA meetings and counseling sessions, besides the two times he took off on us in anger saying he needed to get something. He owes us 80% of what he makes, which isn't much since he's only doing lawn work right now. Most of his 20% goes for cigarettes and eating out with his NA buddies after a meeting. I THINK he's doing okay now. He probably (almost definitely) wasn't taking the sub the way he was supposed to because he always doubles what the instructions say for any medication. Obviously, he can't control any of them!
Thanks for caring and please keep the prayers coming. Also, thanks for your kind remarks. It was good to hear from you.
Love,
Susan
Hello there,
Not to burst anyones bubbles but YES he is back to Day 1 of being CLEAN from DRUGS. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a bump in the road. Either you are clean or your not clean. He took Vicodin and Oxycontin. OxyContin by the way is called 'Hillybilly Herion". It pretty much does the samething.
Even though I understand his situation. He did go out behind your back and buy drugs. Doesn't matter if he bought 2 pills or 200 pills. The fact of the matter is that he went out and bought drugs. He relapsed plain and simple.
So be straight with him and tel him its Day 1 all over again. Maybe next time he will think long and hard about his options. He could of choosen to take nothing and suffered. Nothing wrong with suffering a little bit.
Ive been clean for 215 Days. I havent takin a single narcotic pill. I even had 2 surgeries and was offered narcotic pain killers. I said no and suffered.
Not to burst anyones bubbles but YES he is back to Day 1 of being CLEAN from DRUGS. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a bump in the road. Either you are clean or your not clean. He took Vicodin and Oxycontin. OxyContin by the way is called 'Hillybilly Herion". It pretty much does the samething.
Even though I understand his situation. He did go out behind your back and buy drugs. Doesn't matter if he bought 2 pills or 200 pills. The fact of the matter is that he went out and bought drugs. He relapsed plain and simple.
So be straight with him and tel him its Day 1 all over again. Maybe next time he will think long and hard about his options. He could of choosen to take nothing and suffered. Nothing wrong with suffering a little bit.
Ive been clean for 215 Days. I havent takin a single narcotic pill. I even had 2 surgeries and was offered narcotic pain killers. I said no and suffered.
Hi Susan,
I have to tell you that your concern may be warranted. I have lived this and seen this and when you wrote cleaning tangent......Well a big light bulb went off.
I hope that with him being back on the sub that things will find there way back to sanity for all of you. Watch wait and be patient and be realistic through all of this.....
The pattern of behaviors you describe are all to familar to me. I have seen this happen and the sub well for mine he figured a way around it...... and set himself up for a fall he could never have imagined. And death was not to far ahead........I really think he is lucky to be alive right now.....I don't wish to scare you but I know that you are in this with both feet and that you watch and pray, very present in Harry's life. He needs to get back into what has kept him going for those 96 days and if he does things will be just fine....
If he doesn't he may get pulled right back into hell.......
I will keep you all in my prayers.....please don't forget you in this and take care of yourself......
Love,
Tina
I have to tell you that your concern may be warranted. I have lived this and seen this and when you wrote cleaning tangent......Well a big light bulb went off.
I hope that with him being back on the sub that things will find there way back to sanity for all of you. Watch wait and be patient and be realistic through all of this.....
The pattern of behaviors you describe are all to familar to me. I have seen this happen and the sub well for mine he figured a way around it...... and set himself up for a fall he could never have imagined. And death was not to far ahead........I really think he is lucky to be alive right now.....I don't wish to scare you but I know that you are in this with both feet and that you watch and pray, very present in Harry's life. He needs to get back into what has kept him going for those 96 days and if he does things will be just fine....
If he doesn't he may get pulled right back into hell.......
I will keep you all in my prayers.....please don't forget you in this and take care of yourself......
Love,
Tina
Susan,
Your son hit a bump in the road. Not a fulll blown relaspe but a relaspe it was. Not knocking him. He did the right thing afterwards he told someone hopefully he told his doctor, counselor and/or sponser. Where I differ with you is here. His sobriety clock starts all over. He will celebrate the 100 days of sobriety a 100 days from the relaspe. More addicts do have bumps in the road than do not. But, he should face it for what it is, a relaspe. If he fools himself that it is less than that he risk rationalizing himself right back in to his addiction. Just tell, him start the clock back at zero and start working his program harder than ever. He can make it. By the way I speak with some experience here. Aftera 109 days in rehab my addict had a "bump" after only 2 weeks out. Took to percocets at sisters house. She called her sponser, told me and told the counselors. She set her sobriety clock back to zero and started working her program harder than ever. It happens , don't beat him up about it as long as he is doing "the next right thing". But, don't minimize either. Good luck we are all in this together.
Your son hit a bump in the road. Not a fulll blown relaspe but a relaspe it was. Not knocking him. He did the right thing afterwards he told someone hopefully he told his doctor, counselor and/or sponser. Where I differ with you is here. His sobriety clock starts all over. He will celebrate the 100 days of sobriety a 100 days from the relaspe. More addicts do have bumps in the road than do not. But, he should face it for what it is, a relaspe. If he fools himself that it is less than that he risk rationalizing himself right back in to his addiction. Just tell, him start the clock back at zero and start working his program harder than ever. He can make it. By the way I speak with some experience here. Aftera 109 days in rehab my addict had a "bump" after only 2 weeks out. Took to percocets at sisters house. She called her sponser, told me and told the counselors. She set her sobriety clock back to zero and started working her program harder than ever. It happens , don't beat him up about it as long as he is doing "the next right thing". But, don't minimize either. Good luck we are all in this together.
Hi Susan;
Didn't mean to come across so negatively, it's just that I remember pretty clearly when I've relapsed in the past it was all in the head long before I actually went back and used. I was still going to meetings, etc. but my mind was slipping and I slowly stopped sharing with my network of friends.
I know with your son you're looking for any sign, good or bad, and I think what you're doing is great. 100 days is tremendous - for both of you!
Keep sharing here. Your strength shines thru every time you post.
Jim
Didn't mean to come across so negatively, it's just that I remember pretty clearly when I've relapsed in the past it was all in the head long before I actually went back and used. I was still going to meetings, etc. but my mind was slipping and I slowly stopped sharing with my network of friends.
I know with your son you're looking for any sign, good or bad, and I think what you're doing is great. 100 days is tremendous - for both of you!
Keep sharing here. Your strength shines thru every time you post.
Jim
Hi Susan:
The good news is, if your son is truly working a program of recovery there will be no question in his own mind of deciding if this was a relapse or not.
Rachel
The good news is, if your son is truly working a program of recovery there will be no question in his own mind of deciding if this was a relapse or not.
Rachel
Hi, everyone
Thanks for all the posts. I pretty much had come to the same conclusion. I always tend to downplay the bad stuff and that's not good in this situation. I know one of the first things I said to Harry when I found out he went out and got the vics and oxy was, "You threw away all your days! Now you're back to square one!" He said, "Yeah, I know, I didn't want to but I couldn't stand the pain." Later I was wondering if I was right. I didn't know if it counted for days clean from his drug of choice or from all drugs. He never questioned it or argued it, he acknowledged it actually. One day at a time!
God bless you all!
Love,
Susan
Thanks for all the posts. I pretty much had come to the same conclusion. I always tend to downplay the bad stuff and that's not good in this situation. I know one of the first things I said to Harry when I found out he went out and got the vics and oxy was, "You threw away all your days! Now you're back to square one!" He said, "Yeah, I know, I didn't want to but I couldn't stand the pain." Later I was wondering if I was right. I didn't know if it counted for days clean from his drug of choice or from all drugs. He never questioned it or argued it, he acknowledged it actually. One day at a time!
God bless you all!
Love,
Susan
