I Have Lost My Son The Crystal

When he was a baby, he just seemed so sweet and innocent. As he grew older you could tell he had a heart the size of the universe. He was always loving and helpful. Then he met a young girl. She had a hard life. Adopted by people who felt it was necessary to let her know that her biological mother was a heroin addict. My son became caught up in her dramatic life and completely gave up on his. He lost his job, was kicked out of school, and spent all his savings on crystal-meth. When he was broke, he turned to stealing in order to get his drugs. I watched him go from a healthy young man with dreams to a frail person with hollow eyes. The girl ended up being 15 years old, and now my son is going to spend the next 10 years in prison. The girl is back home with her adopted parents, still calling her friends to go out and party. My heart is broken. I am utterly depressed, and find myself praying to god that drugs never existed. It is hard to watch people give up their lives for something that doesn't reward them for their hard work. For everyone that is struggling to stay clean -- keep up the fight. You can never lose as long as you don't give up.
Dear Mom,
The terrible truth is that drugs do exist and not only should we despise them but have a healthy respect for their power to transform and decimate an individual in a relatively short period of time. I myself was with someone for almost 5 yrs that was addicted to heroin as he has been for almost 25 yrs. I thought that perhaps any sobering influence on my part( i am a recovering alcoholic with almost 18 yrs clean) would deter or at least slow down his use. I got sucked into his dysfunctional life which only deteriorated over the years we spent together....putting all of my focus on him and not tending to my own personal problems.

I did not however forfeit my own sobriety but i haven't gone forward in my life either as all my energy was spent in trying to make him 'well'. Somewhere along the way my love and concern turned into enabling him and perpetuating his addiction.

When we lose ourselves in others' problems we ourselves are the ones that get lost and pay a hefty price for someone else's addiction. All we can do sometimes is love and pray for them at a safe distance to protect ourselves and 'enable' them to stand on their own two feet.

God bless you,
MARY



mom, why is your son going to jail for ten years, beause of the girl being under aged, OMG, i feel for you as i am an addict and the power of the disease is so powerful!! i feel your pain and will prey for you , please take care and keep us posted as well, ..
My son was released from jail because the 15 year old girl ran away from home and she didn't show up for court. 4 days later my son is with this girl again. When he first came home he said he was sorry for everything. Now I feel as if the rollercoaster just paused long enough for me to cry, and then start back up again. The Holidays are upon us and this nightmare just wont end. He was lucky enough to escape one, but now he is just playing Russian Roulette. It is so hard just to stand back and watch him destroy his life. I had tried to let him know that I would be there for him during his recovery. I know he needs to want to stay clean and sober, but as his mother, this is tearing my life apart.
I read your post and have tears, I wish there was something I could do to help your son. I was on crystal meth for many years in my teens and twenties, and I know the hold it could have on you. Crystal was just the start of my problems, and since I was so high for so long I really messed up my life by not going to school, and getting fired from too many jobs to count. I'm 43 now, and have just started Suboxone for my painkiller addiction. Maybe you can find a Dr. for your son who can help him with the same meds, I've read they work for that as well. I have my own son and while he's still young I worry about him for the future. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you, and I hope your son gets the help he deserves.
I too have tears and chills for you. I am an addict and over my years of addiction have jumped from one drug to the next. Cocaine and Crystal being the worst. I stop and see the path of destruction I have caused, get clean, change my ways, and some how fall back into the dark hole of drugs. Different people, different places same situation. Every day is a challenge and unless he wants to stop, it doesn't matter what you do or don't do he will continue to do what he wants. I have three young girls and I know that I have probably passed on through my genes some of the addiction which some believe we are born with. I am hoping that they choose a different path than I, but if they don't I will hopefully always understand why. I wish you strength to help your son. Stay strong and just tell him every day that you do love him no matter what.