My husband was addicted to norcos and xanax. At first and for a long time it was the norcos. For years. I did start to realize somthing was going on and started to look for proof. He eventually came clean to me and being naive, I thought he would be able to kick the habit on his own with my help. He went threw withdraws and i stayed up night after night rubbing him and trying to get him past it. After the withdraws were done being so severe i thought he was fine. Again this is when i knew nothing about it. We went back to living our lives like normal he went back to work and all was well.(i thought).I noticed money still wasnt good and we should of had more. I started to suspect again but could not find proof. I looked and went threw everything all the time. Never could find proof. This went on for quite a while. He started to loose weight super noticeably. His family and mine started to ask questions. He eventually had to come clean. He went to detox and his family and i were all supportive. He got out and was doing good. after a few month started acting weird again. He was wobbly and he never remembered anything. I started going threw everything again trying to find what it was. He would always make it out like i was crazy when i would confront him on things. i eventually caught him in the act and it was horrifying. He was taking xanax. He was so f***ed up he had no control of his body at all. He ended up going back to detox. We can not afford rehab so detox was all he is able to do. He came out and has been doing good. Smokes weed and thats all. I am fine with him smoking weed. BUT i am always mad. I dont trust a word he says and want proof for everything. he started acting different recently and i got worse. I dont know how to be or what to do. I never know if i should believe him i never know what to believe. He dosnt remember s***. He is always repeating himself and i always have to repeat myself and it drives me insane! Everything is a sign of him using in my eyes. He gets mad that i dont believe him and i accuse him and i do feel bad. I feel bad that im always mad. but idk what to anymore. i think he is on somthing. I know he loves me and i love him. But i gwet so furious about it all, idk if its in my head or real
Dear goincrazy,
The scenario you describe, although painful, is also very predicable. I have seen the exact same cycle over 100 times, in just my own experience.
Addiction is a disease and must be treated - going to detox and relying on will power will not work in most cases.
NA and AA are free. 90 meetings in 90 days. Get a sponsor, read the literature, work the steps, do service work, help others, keeping coming back, keep working the program. This is what a succesful recovery will look like for him. There is a miracle waiting to happen.
The point of my post, however, is for you. You will also benefit from a recovery program for codependents - such as NAR Anon or Al Anon. For example, the first lesson you will learn is that you are powerless over someone else's addiction. In order to be of most help to your mate, you need to be healthy yourself.
Please do not try this on your own. I would be glad to post back if you have questions.
Good luck,
Fly
The scenario you describe, although painful, is also very predicable. I have seen the exact same cycle over 100 times, in just my own experience.
Addiction is a disease and must be treated - going to detox and relying on will power will not work in most cases.
NA and AA are free. 90 meetings in 90 days. Get a sponsor, read the literature, work the steps, do service work, help others, keeping coming back, keep working the program. This is what a succesful recovery will look like for him. There is a miracle waiting to happen.
The point of my post, however, is for you. You will also benefit from a recovery program for codependents - such as NAR Anon or Al Anon. For example, the first lesson you will learn is that you are powerless over someone else's addiction. In order to be of most help to your mate, you need to be healthy yourself.
Please do not try this on your own. I would be glad to post back if you have questions.
Good luck,
Fly
hey, it's awful what you are going through and it will make you paranoid if he's lied before. i don't believe in the 12 step program mainly because i'm not highly religious so for me it was hard to give everything to a higher power. this is when i went on a course that taught me the science behind addiction. i have the online course if you'd like me to send it via email. actually understanding the biology of yourself and the reason you actually do something and why these impulses control us that is when we can control them ourselves. this is how i got clean anyways, but i do no that isn't for everyone.
with how you are feeling i don't no the best advice. i'd say try not to get mad, try to talk to him, let him no you're there to listen, if he has a craving, if he wants to go do it, just let him no he can tell you. at the moment he probably feels like he can't tell you if he's thinking them thoughts because you might get mad at him. but being there to just talk to and talk him out of it kindly whilst listening, it should help you both. if youve never been an addict it is so hard to understand why we/they do what they do and why they feel that way. if he starts being honest with you it'll put your mind at ease and also his knowing he doesn't have to keep his thoughts battling in his head. hope this helps :)
with how you are feeling i don't no the best advice. i'd say try not to get mad, try to talk to him, let him no you're there to listen, if he has a craving, if he wants to go do it, just let him no he can tell you. at the moment he probably feels like he can't tell you if he's thinking them thoughts because you might get mad at him. but being there to just talk to and talk him out of it kindly whilst listening, it should help you both. if youve never been an addict it is so hard to understand why we/they do what they do and why they feel that way. if he starts being honest with you it'll put your mind at ease and also his knowing he doesn't have to keep his thoughts battling in his head. hope this helps :)
