Dearest friends..as the title suggets i messed up after nearly 5mnth.clean time...luckily not with smack but with my other D.O.C...benzos.I had a rare week off from my 7yr.old daughter&was round a mates..its magic mushroom season round these parts..so he has a big pot boiling so i had about 100m.m or so&have always loved magic mushrooms but not acid..there a bit more natural.Anyway..my mate produced a bottle with 60valium 10mgs.&i my tripped out state i buckled(no excuse i know).So over 3nights we tripped&took the benzos.Iknow it was only a lil lapse but its made me realise i cant be around hard or even some soft drugs..coz one thing can lead to another.Just had to get it off my chest..thanks folks..Davey
ah Davey i was gutted when saw your post title, however....you had a little relaspe...it happens....but look you have learnt from it no? So just try to move on.
My boyfriend slipped up too this week...tue...as far as i know it was just one day he did a speedball (shame it wasn't a snowball ha ha!!!) he feels pretty crappy about it.
at least you didn't do any heroin thats one good thing, but you have learnt that you just have to stay away from all drugs as its a quick and slippy slope. Look how far you have already come, how good you have been doing...don't throw that all away. Don't beat yourself up about it, you slipped up, you realised you messed up and you have already learnt from it and moved on.
stay strong, am thinking of you
take care xx
My boyfriend slipped up too this week...tue...as far as i know it was just one day he did a speedball (shame it wasn't a snowball ha ha!!!) he feels pretty crappy about it.
at least you didn't do any heroin thats one good thing, but you have learnt that you just have to stay away from all drugs as its a quick and slippy slope. Look how far you have already come, how good you have been doing...don't throw that all away. Don't beat yourself up about it, you slipped up, you realised you messed up and you have already learnt from it and moved on.
stay strong, am thinking of you
take care xx
Hey Davey,
Yep I am afraid I have learnt that its not only my DOC that I cannot be around, but all drugs, even the soft ones. But hey, at least you know that now.
Stay strong
Calabash
Yep I am afraid I have learnt that its not only my DOC that I cannot be around, but all drugs, even the soft ones. But hey, at least you know that now.
Stay strong
Calabash
Davey
Being on mdone in the beginning I also had a big problem with benzos. I think it was trying to achieve the heroin feeling,without the heroin. Many of the people at the clinic Im on consume benzos with thier dose. This can be a lethel combo(as Im sure you know)--
As for the mushrooms- wow- I cant tell you how that brings me back to the old days of the Grateful Dead,California dreaming, and the feeling that all was well with the world.
I dont really know what happened, but I realized that no matter how many mushrooms I ate- the world was never really all right(its what you make it)
And all the methadone and valium you can get, will never really achieve that heroin feeling that we look for.
The bottom line is I gave up both. Im not passing judgement or saying that your situation is the same_ Im just sharing.
Be careful out there.
Much love&respect
jack
Being on mdone in the beginning I also had a big problem with benzos. I think it was trying to achieve the heroin feeling,without the heroin. Many of the people at the clinic Im on consume benzos with thier dose. This can be a lethel combo(as Im sure you know)--
As for the mushrooms- wow- I cant tell you how that brings me back to the old days of the Grateful Dead,California dreaming, and the feeling that all was well with the world.
I dont really know what happened, but I realized that no matter how many mushrooms I ate- the world was never really all right(its what you make it)
And all the methadone and valium you can get, will never really achieve that heroin feeling that we look for.
The bottom line is I gave up both. Im not passing judgement or saying that your situation is the same_ Im just sharing.
Be careful out there.
Much love&respect
jack
Hi Davey, I'm new to this site and just read your message and wanted to send you some words of encouragement. It is 2 years, six and a half months since I finally got clean from crack, heroin and methadone. It took me a few times of stopping before I managed to stay clean this long. What I found, and is clearer now with hindsight, that if you have a lapse and then start beating yourself up about it and drowning in guilt, before you know it, you're back on the vicious downward spiral of using to block out the pain and guilt. I suggest you use this experience to learn what triggered the using this time (ie being with people who were using) and use it to help you avoid that trigger in the future. Therre's a saying I came across in NA "different playground, different playmates"...sometimes, especially in the early days of our recovery, we need to remove ourselves from people and places that triggered our using behavious. Don't beat yourself up Davey, you were doing really well and can do again. Someone sent me a card in the early stages of my recovery that said, "I walk, I fall down, I get up again...meanwhile, I keep on dancing." Don't give up giving up Davey...Hang in there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Cheers folks...am on the straight&narrow..but the hangover from the benzos made me realise...why i want off drugs&as my man Jack said you more or less gotta give up everything if youve had that hardcore user trip.Gotta be said&Jack i throughly enjoyed my trips&i couldnt get the thought of the G.D &yerself&shirley out of my head for more than a fleeting 2mins.Sash thanks for the reply very warm...if ya get me thanks.Anasatia welcome to the board its a winner.My p.c is down..so have to go to one of those dreaded cafes.Take care all ...Davey
