I need a little bit of help because right now I am really down. Recently I was arrested for tryng to get pain pills by fraud. I called a prescription in that was mine in order to get Vicodin's. I went to jail because this was my second offense one has been from another state which it was a misdeamenor but in the state of GA they made it a Felony. I had been using off and on for 2 years now and I have been trying to get a hold on this thing but this I can't. It's ruined my life a well as my mind and body. I got out of jail and they put me in this drug program and when I first started I thought this was a pieace of cake. Well I came to find out it's not because this program is so strict that you have to watch what you take or do and you have to take 2 random drug test a week and go to alot of meetings and be in court every friday. If you do good you go to different phases which is an 18 month program. I was doing good until recently I went in and took a drug test and failed it for opids in my system.I had not been using for awhile until I took Ibprophen 800 with a pill call tramadol which I did not know that the real name for it was ultram a drug that they say is non-narcotic but I can't use because it was listed in my drug book not to take. It was only 1 and I took that with the Ibprophen along with some vitamin supps because I was cramping due to my cycle. I never thought to think about it causing any damage until I realized what I took and it was too late I took the test but I denied use o any pain killers that was narcotic because I forgot I took the damm thing ad went to work. They took my urine to a lab to see if it was the vitaims I had took and other things I took. I was told if the test comes back positive for opids (which I know i will) that i may have to do 1 or 2 days in jail. This situation has had me in hell all day. I can't sleep or eat just knowing I may loose my job because of this or having to spend 1 or 2 days back in jail for something stupid like this. i can't eat or sleep I worry so much. i just don't know what to do. It's like my world is falling apart. I don't know how to deal. Should I just give up on this and end it right now because I may no make it through this. I need help?
What do you mean by "should I just give up on this and end it right now"? I hope you don't mean what I fear you might mean. Believe me, I've been where you are more then once. Did you only take one ultram and are worried about the urine test. Because if that's the case, even though you may be penalized for this one mistake you can't let that ruin your life. If it was an honest mistake then you should pick yourself up and start again. If you are really committed to your program and have been doing everything you can to help yourself then you can't quit now. We have all made mistakes and we have all felt like you are feeling now. But trust me things will get better. Right now you are down but give it some time and it won't seem that bad. Do you have children or a family that you are close to? Focus on them and stay strong for the people who love you. You can do this. It's not always easy but in the end it's more then worth it. I'll be praying for you.
Shelly
Shelly
There's no ending it here! OF COURSE you'll get past this! It's tough to think logically when things aren't going well, but this is the time to flex and get through it. You will. A day or two in jail is not worse than no longer living and hurting all of those that care about you. Please try to be strong and handle this the right way.
Keep in touch!
Chris
Keep in touch!
Chris
CLR36-Hey Welcome.I may be leaving early but I will keep your thread bumped up until others start getting up.
I've known several people that this happend to.I live in Texas and they are very strict in the ciminal system with drug addicts.Don't give up and talking about it ending it all is not helping.I'm sorry that happend to you but it has.Ultram[tramadol hydlochoride] is an opiate and will show up in a UA test.
Tell the truth,pray and then leave it in God's hands.Have you made all the meetings you were required to in your probation? Do you have a PO you see?
You may have to spend 2 days in jail.It's not the end of the world.That addict brain will constantly be goating you to give up and screaming at you that you are a loser.It's the disease.You will get through this.
My friend that was in jail had a pamplet that listed all the drugs he could not take?Don't they give you one those? You can't even eat poppy seeds.You need to study that and educate yourself.
If you have to spend two days in jail,when you get out,get back to your meetings.Don't make it something you have to do.Listen to what's being said and start thinking about it.Get a sponsor.This isn't easy for anyone and it's especially difficult for people who have been incarcerated.I forged scripts all the time.I just didn't get caught.Its one of the consequences of addiction.
You hang in there.You are not alone.Kerry and Atlas get up early so they can share their experiences.I won't be leaving until about 9:00 so I'll keep this bumped.
I've known several people that this happend to.I live in Texas and they are very strict in the ciminal system with drug addicts.Don't give up and talking about it ending it all is not helping.I'm sorry that happend to you but it has.Ultram[tramadol hydlochoride] is an opiate and will show up in a UA test.
Tell the truth,pray and then leave it in God's hands.Have you made all the meetings you were required to in your probation? Do you have a PO you see?
You may have to spend 2 days in jail.It's not the end of the world.That addict brain will constantly be goating you to give up and screaming at you that you are a loser.It's the disease.You will get through this.
My friend that was in jail had a pamplet that listed all the drugs he could not take?Don't they give you one those? You can't even eat poppy seeds.You need to study that and educate yourself.
If you have to spend two days in jail,when you get out,get back to your meetings.Don't make it something you have to do.Listen to what's being said and start thinking about it.Get a sponsor.This isn't easy for anyone and it's especially difficult for people who have been incarcerated.I forged scripts all the time.I just didn't get caught.Its one of the consequences of addiction.
You hang in there.You are not alone.Kerry and Atlas get up early so they can share their experiences.I won't be leaving until about 9:00 so I'll keep this bumped.
Welcome to this wonderful place. You WILL get support here. What you have experienced is sure to have been experienced by others before you. Mistakes are just that and a sure (but hard) way to learn. Giving up shouldn't be an option at all. You need to go forward, not backward. Keep posting and get to a meeting if you can. You need all the support you can get.
Wecome and glad you found us!
While it seems just so overwhelming right now...all is NOT lost and definitely not a reason to give it all up! Maybe this is the wake up call you needed at this time...I don't mean to seem harsh or make small your fears and concerns, not at all...But you can get through this and out the other side if you really want to...If you believe in a higher power please pray and turn it over...if you have any family or friends....call on them and let them help you. Read some success stories here on the board...many have been through hell and back...some more than once and their successes documented here are nothing short of miracles...We are all special, but so similar in our lives of addiction...You can be a miracle too...please don't give up on YOU...don't let the addiction win...
Peace,
Jan
While it seems just so overwhelming right now...all is NOT lost and definitely not a reason to give it all up! Maybe this is the wake up call you needed at this time...I don't mean to seem harsh or make small your fears and concerns, not at all...But you can get through this and out the other side if you really want to...If you believe in a higher power please pray and turn it over...if you have any family or friends....call on them and let them help you. Read some success stories here on the board...many have been through hell and back...some more than once and their successes documented here are nothing short of miracles...We are all special, but so similar in our lives of addiction...You can be a miracle too...please don't give up on YOU...don't let the addiction win...
Peace,
Jan
C:
Yesterday I started a thread called Addiction and Hope. There is a story there by Just Jane. Please read it. I think you will find hope.
This is just my opinion...but I am guessing you took a pill for which you didn't have a perscription. Maybe taking anything that is NOT prescribed to you is a sign here. We as addicts are so used to "medicating", and I understand how bad the cramps can be...but you need to get a physician to order you medication that is non-narcotic and tell him you are an addict, that way there are no mistakes.
If you have a prescription...then you can probably use that as some part of a defense.
Things can always be much worse...and I know while you are dealing with all this its difficult to see...I hate this disease, it does that to our brains. It is just a lie...don't believe it.
Are you still around? Please, let us hear from you.
Best.
Sarah
Yesterday I started a thread called Addiction and Hope. There is a story there by Just Jane. Please read it. I think you will find hope.
This is just my opinion...but I am guessing you took a pill for which you didn't have a perscription. Maybe taking anything that is NOT prescribed to you is a sign here. We as addicts are so used to "medicating", and I understand how bad the cramps can be...but you need to get a physician to order you medication that is non-narcotic and tell him you are an addict, that way there are no mistakes.
If you have a prescription...then you can probably use that as some part of a defense.
Things can always be much worse...and I know while you are dealing with all this its difficult to see...I hate this disease, it does that to our brains. It is just a lie...don't believe it.
Are you still around? Please, let us hear from you.
Best.
Sarah
Not to hijack, but I am leaving now and wanted to say Hey to my southern sista Sarah! Hey girl!!! Hope you are on the mend and if not get your buttocks to a doctor that can help you! I would love to "do coffee and lunch" someday, never had that coffee with chicory in it...yet...
Peace,
Jan
Peace,
Jan
Thank Sarah,Jan and PM.
Doing time,coming back out and trying to get a job,trying to stay clean on top of all that....whew! It's hard on these guys.Nobody wants to employ them.Nobody trust them.
The odds may seem overwhelming but they aren't.You will get through this if in your heart you want to get clean.It's going to be tough in the beginning but you will get a break.
Doing time,coming back out and trying to get a job,trying to stay clean on top of all that....whew! It's hard on these guys.Nobody wants to employ them.Nobody trust them.
The odds may seem overwhelming but they aren't.You will get through this if in your heart you want to get clean.It's going to be tough in the beginning but you will get a break.
Tim:
This is one of the reasons my husband is my hero also...he always hired people who had been in jail. He found them to be the hardest working people, and grateful for their shot.
Maybe jails in Louisiana are particularly bad or something! He had pretty good luck though, and I guess it was a part of his gratitude list too.
I know it is hard....but you know what.....keeping up that using lifestyle is hard too. It is all hard....but there are tools for staying clean...if we will use them.
I hope CLR is still around, I would love to talk to her.
She is in my prayers.
Sarah
This is one of the reasons my husband is my hero also...he always hired people who had been in jail. He found them to be the hardest working people, and grateful for their shot.
Maybe jails in Louisiana are particularly bad or something! He had pretty good luck though, and I guess it was a part of his gratitude list too.
I know it is hard....but you know what.....keeping up that using lifestyle is hard too. It is all hard....but there are tools for staying clean...if we will use them.
I hope CLR is still around, I would love to talk to her.
She is in my prayers.
Sarah
Sarah-I've hired them too when my business was bigger.I would pick them up at a Transition house in the morning.They were always very grateful.I had a couple bad experiences with them but it was no more unusual than anyone else.
I've been around the block myself.I'm not naiive.
We treat substance abusers like murders or rapist in this country.Instead of focusing on treatment,we lock them up.
I hope things change.
I've been around the block myself.I'm not naiive.
We treat substance abusers like murders or rapist in this country.Instead of focusing on treatment,we lock them up.
I hope things change.
Tim:
This is a part of my yellow dog tail wagging...but!, aren't we at the point in society where we can start to incarcerate only violent criminals??? Find rehab for the others? I don't know, I just feel we are not connected to a solution in this country.
I agree....jails are overcrowded as it is, and there is not much rehabilitation for the addict there. But, after I read Jane's story, and realized that is where she found meetings.....in one sense, I guess you could say that experience saved her life.
She is such an exceptional person. She was a guardian of mine when I first got here....I found so much hope in her story. I read every single link I could find on here when I first arrived.
This is a part of my yellow dog tail wagging...but!, aren't we at the point in society where we can start to incarcerate only violent criminals??? Find rehab for the others? I don't know, I just feel we are not connected to a solution in this country.
I agree....jails are overcrowded as it is, and there is not much rehabilitation for the addict there. But, after I read Jane's story, and realized that is where she found meetings.....in one sense, I guess you could say that experience saved her life.
She is such an exceptional person. She was a guardian of mine when I first got here....I found so much hope in her story. I read every single link I could find on here when I first arrived.
bump for CLr36
Wanted to Welcome you & tell you that even though things may feel & seem so bad for you right now there is a better life awaiting you.Will it be asy?Oh Heck no,it may be the hardest fight of your life,but ANYTHING worthwhile is worth fighting for.
As far as the Tramadol/Ultram yup that is one nasty drug & it was at one time my DOC.I was up to over 20 a day..
I pray you keep posting as there is alot of support here for the taking & all of us can understand what you are feeling & going through.
Again Welcome & I hope we hear from you soon...There is life after drugs & it can be a beautiful one
molly
As far as the Tramadol/Ultram yup that is one nasty drug & it was at one time my DOC.I was up to over 20 a day..
I pray you keep posting as there is alot of support here for the taking & all of us can understand what you are feeling & going through.
Again Welcome & I hope we hear from you soon...There is life after drugs & it can be a beautiful one
molly
CLR,
My friends Sarah and Tim invited me to come and chat with you. I am at work right now but I would love to have a chat. First read my story, it sounds so much like yours. When I relapse in my treatment center I simply wasn't ready to quit using and when I went in there I really had no intention of doing so. I was just doing what I needed to do to do time for my charges. I wasn't interested in meetings or recovery or hearing experience, strength or hope. I went in with my only desire to be satisfy the courts by doing counseling and jail time. I came out with a whole different perspective and hope...Before that I had no higher aspiration then where my next pill would come from. Sound familiar? So my advice boils down to this. You've seen where pills/abuse will lead you. Ultimately however you life goes if you choose pills over life you choose the possiblity to go back to jail at any time. AA puts it like this jails institutions or death. You have now seen the reality of that statement. So suit up and showup and eventually it will sink in. (weather you want it to or not) At least that is how it worked for me. There is life after this BS trust me. I sit here right now working in my chosen field (accounting) When I got out of jail after I finished probation and all the other requirements (rehab and aa) My felonies were reduced to misdemeanors. One step at a time my life came back. It doesn't happen at once but it does happen. So do what you need to do to satisfy the courts. Learn all you can about addiction and just leave the past in the past. You may just find hope and direction. Faith over fear. Keep heading in the right direction.
Gotta go back to work.
Love,
Jane
justjanep@hotmail. If you need to talk
My friends Sarah and Tim invited me to come and chat with you. I am at work right now but I would love to have a chat. First read my story, it sounds so much like yours. When I relapse in my treatment center I simply wasn't ready to quit using and when I went in there I really had no intention of doing so. I was just doing what I needed to do to do time for my charges. I wasn't interested in meetings or recovery or hearing experience, strength or hope. I went in with my only desire to be satisfy the courts by doing counseling and jail time. I came out with a whole different perspective and hope...Before that I had no higher aspiration then where my next pill would come from. Sound familiar? So my advice boils down to this. You've seen where pills/abuse will lead you. Ultimately however you life goes if you choose pills over life you choose the possiblity to go back to jail at any time. AA puts it like this jails institutions or death. You have now seen the reality of that statement. So suit up and showup and eventually it will sink in. (weather you want it to or not) At least that is how it worked for me. There is life after this BS trust me. I sit here right now working in my chosen field (accounting) When I got out of jail after I finished probation and all the other requirements (rehab and aa) My felonies were reduced to misdemeanors. One step at a time my life came back. It doesn't happen at once but it does happen. So do what you need to do to satisfy the courts. Learn all you can about addiction and just leave the past in the past. You may just find hope and direction. Faith over fear. Keep heading in the right direction.
Gotta go back to work.
Love,
Jane
justjanep@hotmail. If you need to talk
Jane:
That was a very inspiring post. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope!
~Rachel
That was a very inspiring post. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope!
~Rachel
BUMP for CLR I would love to talk to you you are not in this alone. s*** happens to everyone the only way out of the hole is to stop digging. Email me or post. I want you to know you can do this
Jane
Jane
Please do not feel alone or like this is the end of the world...yes...you are in a bad situation...but you have also learned a valuable lesson and a lot of us have been where you are. I spent a night in jail and it was demeaning...I survived. I will pray for you....Sharonn
Last night at my meeting...I wept...I truly did...Thursdays are newcomers meetings...I love them....to see all that hope...it both saddens me and empowers me.
There was this little man there and he spoke...he said he had just spent 37 years in prison...he is an alcoholic...an ex con and a con man...he lives on the beach and is dying...siroccos of the liver..all this damage in the past year...he was in the hospital and left in his hospital garb to buy beer...he snuck it in....he was trembling and crying....sincerely asking "are you people for real?" How do I stop? To top it all of he is black....the hopelessness that was emanating from him was so deeply saddening.
Buy the end of the meeting he was surrounded by a whole bunch of men that promised to help him....take him in....bring him to meetings...it was one of the most powerful things that I have ever been involved in.
Now tell me you don't have hope....you do if you want it....its right there....a total surrender is what it takes....god willing (or whatever your higher power might be) you will make it to...just like this man. He is not alone today... I know that, and for that I am comforted.
There was this little man there and he spoke...he said he had just spent 37 years in prison...he is an alcoholic...an ex con and a con man...he lives on the beach and is dying...siroccos of the liver..all this damage in the past year...he was in the hospital and left in his hospital garb to buy beer...he snuck it in....he was trembling and crying....sincerely asking "are you people for real?" How do I stop? To top it all of he is black....the hopelessness that was emanating from him was so deeply saddening.
Buy the end of the meeting he was surrounded by a whole bunch of men that promised to help him....take him in....bring him to meetings...it was one of the most powerful things that I have ever been involved in.
Now tell me you don't have hope....you do if you want it....its right there....a total surrender is what it takes....god willing (or whatever your higher power might be) you will make it to...just like this man. He is not alone today... I know that, and for that I am comforted.
I know keeKee.It can be pretty powerful when you see that in action.We are all the same.Some of us were lucky enough not to have taken that elevator to the basement.
I give these guys standing under the freeways a dollar all the time.I know they probably just go by booze with it but maybe 1 out 5 will go get some food.I have some friends that really scold me about it but hey,whats a friggin dollar?
One of my favorite NA meetings is the Friday Night "Only Requirement" group.It's all black in a very mean part of town.It's one of the best meetings I have ever been to.It's a volunteer podium meeting.You get 5 minutes to speak.The chairman has a clock that goes off.It's a trip.It's like a black church.
You literally feel like getting up and dancing.I have always left there feeling like I've been given a powerful gift.
They love this little white boy.LOL
I give these guys standing under the freeways a dollar all the time.I know they probably just go by booze with it but maybe 1 out 5 will go get some food.I have some friends that really scold me about it but hey,whats a friggin dollar?
One of my favorite NA meetings is the Friday Night "Only Requirement" group.It's all black in a very mean part of town.It's one of the best meetings I have ever been to.It's a volunteer podium meeting.You get 5 minutes to speak.The chairman has a clock that goes off.It's a trip.It's like a black church.
You literally feel like getting up and dancing.I have always left there feeling like I've been given a powerful gift.
They love this little white boy.LOL
