Hello I am dating this guy who I care about deeply but he is addicted to Heroin he is dishonest about almost everything he has been off of drugs before but as an addict he just jumped right back into the lifestyle! We finally had a heart to heart and he says he wants to stop but he wants to try the methadone route I am a nurse so I know that drug is just a bandaid he says he has been through all the rehab programs and he already knows all the coping skills so he doesnt want to try another rehab program. I guess my question is how do I know if he is telling the truth!?! I want to support him through this but I cant tolerate drug use I tend to get very angry and lash out at him which I know doesnt make things easier for him so my other question is can someone give me advice on how to cope with this?Thanks for you help!!!!!! J
Hey Jamie,
You have every right to feel angry and frustrated at the situation. I know that when I was using it was the people that really cared about me that would lash out at me at times. It wasn't because they were trying to be nasty or anything it was that they really cared about me and it frustrated them to see me slowly destroying myself. I can see that now that i am clean, but when I was using I was blinded. I thought they just were being assholes and didn't understand.
Try to be patient with your boyfriend. Take a step outside of yourself and look at the relationship, as you need to think of your own well-being as well as his.
It's a fact mate, junkie's are selfish and although they may not mean it, when it comes to H the pull is so big that unfortunately anything after it comes second.
I don't think much of Methadone (but that's just me) I still used while I was on it. I think he would be better off trying Sub/Bup (it's a tablet that you take). I'm sure someone can post a web so you can look into it more. I'm on Sub and haven't used at all the whole time I have been on it. The thing is it is not just the Meth or the Sub that is going to stop your boyfriend from using; these things are just aids. He has to really want to give up. Be supportive and try and make him remember how much better life will be without the H in his life.
It's not going to be easy. He is lucky to have someone like you who really loves and cares about him. But remember you have a right to live a happy life too. I have seen so much pain caused by these kinds of situations.
I guess sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. I packed up my stuff and moved house and completely disconnected myself from the world of H. It was the only way i knew that I could get clean. Best thing I could have done. It's taken a while but I slowly rebuilt a life for myself.
Kyle
You have every right to feel angry and frustrated at the situation. I know that when I was using it was the people that really cared about me that would lash out at me at times. It wasn't because they were trying to be nasty or anything it was that they really cared about me and it frustrated them to see me slowly destroying myself. I can see that now that i am clean, but when I was using I was blinded. I thought they just were being assholes and didn't understand.
Try to be patient with your boyfriend. Take a step outside of yourself and look at the relationship, as you need to think of your own well-being as well as his.
It's a fact mate, junkie's are selfish and although they may not mean it, when it comes to H the pull is so big that unfortunately anything after it comes second.
I don't think much of Methadone (but that's just me) I still used while I was on it. I think he would be better off trying Sub/Bup (it's a tablet that you take). I'm sure someone can post a web so you can look into it more. I'm on Sub and haven't used at all the whole time I have been on it. The thing is it is not just the Meth or the Sub that is going to stop your boyfriend from using; these things are just aids. He has to really want to give up. Be supportive and try and make him remember how much better life will be without the H in his life.
It's not going to be easy. He is lucky to have someone like you who really loves and cares about him. But remember you have a right to live a happy life too. I have seen so much pain caused by these kinds of situations.
I guess sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. I packed up my stuff and moved house and completely disconnected myself from the world of H. It was the only way i knew that I could get clean. Best thing I could have done. It's taken a while but I slowly rebuilt a life for myself.
Kyle
Hi Jamie R....I agree alot with what Kyle said (although it was methadone that has kept me clean for over a year...I am only now experiencing some problems with it but I think they are more dosage related)......the fear of withdrawal is overwhelming, at least for me it was and I have been thru it sooo many times....maybe your boyfriend does need an aid like meth or suboxone.....I was serious when I finally went on it and my family thought the same thing....that I was just looking for another excuse to use etc....and I realy wanted help but just couldn't do it on my own....I come from a family of nurses (Mom, three sisters) and I myself have a PR degree.....I understand your fears and I don't know where your boyfriend is at.....but it is possible that methadone MAY help him recover.......good luck(bonne chance!)
Canadian Jen
Canadian Jen
The Suboxone is a very good tool. I would recommend to most chronic opiate addicts. I have been on it for sometime now and it allows me to have a fairly normal life. If I can answer any questions, please contact me at RanWalk57@aol.com
Thank you all for your responses, today is the big day for us first day with no H it has already been hard!! I just want to say CONGRATS to all of you who are off H and I would like to tell all the people who support and have supported people who are/was addicted THANKS because it takes a lot out of you also. I am so glad I found this message board I think you guys are going to help us through a lot of this!! A big THANK you again J
Hi Jamie,
It will get easier (at least that's what they tell me; I found it bloody hard).
Good on you for giving it a go. I'm on Sub/Bup and am slowly coming off it. I have tried to jump off and do it cold turkey a couple of times but it was too hard for me. I really beat myself up about it too, because I wanted to be rid of everything. Now I realise that slow and steady wins the race (well in my case anyway) and I am not going to guilt myself out if I don't win first time around.
At least I have my life back, getting off the Sub is just one of the stray demons I still have to get rid of.
Be strong....
Kyle
It will get easier (at least that's what they tell me; I found it bloody hard).
Good on you for giving it a go. I'm on Sub/Bup and am slowly coming off it. I have tried to jump off and do it cold turkey a couple of times but it was too hard for me. I really beat myself up about it too, because I wanted to be rid of everything. Now I realise that slow and steady wins the race (well in my case anyway) and I am not going to guilt myself out if I don't win first time around.
At least I have my life back, getting off the Sub is just one of the stray demons I still have to get rid of.
Be strong....
Kyle