I actually started sunday and since then I had taken about 7-8 total. It really wasn't hard to flush them because it was either them or me and I chose me. You brought up a good point though, don't let anyone else decide for you that you need to quit. You need to decide enough is enough and not your doctors because if that happens you may feel like he is controlling you instead of you controlling yourself. We all know by now its not easy but when it comes to deciding between a little pill and or entire families we need to make the right choices for the right reasons. Keep the good thoughts in and the bad ones out and you will make it through. I can see things getting a little easier and tomorrow should be better and the next day better than that. I'm looking forward to my future and not at my past. Remember stay positive and keep posting.
trying Hard
Try -
I do see that things will get better but when I am by myself and not talking to anyone, even on the phone my mind starts in about, "You need them...go to the hospital and get some!" It's still the mind over matter thing but when you have too much thinking time it sucks! My legs don't hurt as bad as they did but my back still does. On the way home from work I was listening to a CD I made and the song, "Strong Enough" by Cher came on. That song is about a woman losing a man to cheating, but I saw it another way in some parts and it empowered me a little. It goes, "I don't need your sympathy. There's nothing you can say or do for me. And I don't want a miracle. You'll never change for no one. (and then goes on to say...) cause I'm strong enough, to live without you, strong enough, cause I've been cryin long enough, now I'm strong enough to know.... YOU GOTTA GO!" The song is very disco like and upbeat. I liked listening to it and putting vicodin in place of the cheating boyfriend. I know it probably sounds silly, but I know there are people who have done far worse things than me and gotten through it and I am not a quitter! If you ever want to see a movie to scare the heck out of you about doing really hard drugs, watch Requiem of a Dream. Very scary! Thanks Try for your words of encouragement and please keep talking to me through this!
K
I do see that things will get better but when I am by myself and not talking to anyone, even on the phone my mind starts in about, "You need them...go to the hospital and get some!" It's still the mind over matter thing but when you have too much thinking time it sucks! My legs don't hurt as bad as they did but my back still does. On the way home from work I was listening to a CD I made and the song, "Strong Enough" by Cher came on. That song is about a woman losing a man to cheating, but I saw it another way in some parts and it empowered me a little. It goes, "I don't need your sympathy. There's nothing you can say or do for me. And I don't want a miracle. You'll never change for no one. (and then goes on to say...) cause I'm strong enough, to live without you, strong enough, cause I've been cryin long enough, now I'm strong enough to know.... YOU GOTTA GO!" The song is very disco like and upbeat. I liked listening to it and putting vicodin in place of the cheating boyfriend. I know it probably sounds silly, but I know there are people who have done far worse things than me and gotten through it and I am not a quitter! If you ever want to see a movie to scare the heck out of you about doing really hard drugs, watch Requiem of a Dream. Very scary! Thanks Try for your words of encouragement and please keep talking to me through this!
K
TryinHard,
To answer your question, I had taken opiates for several years, never daily though, until I started ordering from the online ops....I had med records, so I was off to the races for 5-6 months, daily use, 20-30 vic 10's a day by the end of my run. Did a fast taper, 8/day the first week, 6/day the second week, then flushed. Began to feel a lot better physically after Day 3 (although a good night's sleep eluded me for several weeks). I don't remember a lot of urges to use until several weeks later. They kind of hit out of the blue, when things were going well. Funny how that is. Have you thought about what you'll do to combat the mental addiction once you're beyond the physical w/d's? Hang in, you're doing great.....M.
To answer your question, I had taken opiates for several years, never daily though, until I started ordering from the online ops....I had med records, so I was off to the races for 5-6 months, daily use, 20-30 vic 10's a day by the end of my run. Did a fast taper, 8/day the first week, 6/day the second week, then flushed. Began to feel a lot better physically after Day 3 (although a good night's sleep eluded me for several weeks). I don't remember a lot of urges to use until several weeks later. They kind of hit out of the blue, when things were going well. Funny how that is. Have you thought about what you'll do to combat the mental addiction once you're beyond the physical w/d's? Hang in, you're doing great.....M.
My instructor sent me a link for a chronic pain web site because I told her my situation and why I wasn't doing that well this week. Anyway, I visited this site and a couple of people have written things that are concerning me. I will copy and paste it:
"Slow weening is the best way to go and never, ever ever take anyone's advice on here without talking to your doctor. Ultra fast withdrawal from narcotics can kill you. Dead."
This person's message on this board was very long, so I will save you from reading it all, but she goes on to talk about how she weened herself off of 40mg's of oxy every 4 hours and something else... anyway... I'm getting off track.
From everything I have read on this site, nobody has ever died from withdrawal and I am getting that going cold turkey is the fastest way to get through it. I would think the only way it would kill you is if you committed suicide. Right?
Well, anyway... I am on my 4th day now and I do feel alot better except for the mornings when I think there's no way I can get out of bed and face the world since I don't have my vic to wake me up. My back still hurts and I don't know what to do for that. I cannot live with my back hurting every day. I just can't! What am I supposed to do? Vic was the only thing that helped me.
K
"Slow weening is the best way to go and never, ever ever take anyone's advice on here without talking to your doctor. Ultra fast withdrawal from narcotics can kill you. Dead."
This person's message on this board was very long, so I will save you from reading it all, but she goes on to talk about how she weened herself off of 40mg's of oxy every 4 hours and something else... anyway... I'm getting off track.
From everything I have read on this site, nobody has ever died from withdrawal and I am getting that going cold turkey is the fastest way to get through it. I would think the only way it would kill you is if you committed suicide. Right?
Well, anyway... I am on my 4th day now and I do feel alot better except for the mornings when I think there's no way I can get out of bed and face the world since I don't have my vic to wake me up. My back still hurts and I don't know what to do for that. I cannot live with my back hurting every day. I just can't! What am I supposed to do? Vic was the only thing that helped me.
K
That backache is part of the w/d. I had to go to the Dr. and get anti-inflammatory injections, which didn't even take the edge off. I was frozen, my back and my neck. The good news is it does pass but it is a slow process. Try taking Advil or Motrin every few hours to help with the pain. Then I went to the Chiro, Accupuncture and massage, daily. I'm sorry you feel bad, I have been there.
Rach
Rach
Rachel,
How long have you been off of meds? Well, here it is, my 5th day at 7:30pm and my house is still a mess. My muscles feel jumpy. Kinda like they are going to fly out of my skin. Like I can't control them. I am a lot better if I am at work. I have to do something to keep my mind off of this. Friday I didn't want to go home. Mornings are still bad. Advil doesn't really help. I think I've got such a high tolerance to pain meds that nothing will work for me now. I hate it! I take celebrex and muscle relaxers but the muscle relaxers make me feel so weak. Is it normal to have so many ups and downs?
K
How long have you been off of meds? Well, here it is, my 5th day at 7:30pm and my house is still a mess. My muscles feel jumpy. Kinda like they are going to fly out of my skin. Like I can't control them. I am a lot better if I am at work. I have to do something to keep my mind off of this. Friday I didn't want to go home. Mornings are still bad. Advil doesn't really help. I think I've got such a high tolerance to pain meds that nothing will work for me now. I hate it! I take celebrex and muscle relaxers but the muscle relaxers make me feel so weak. Is it normal to have so many ups and downs?
K
Hi Moonryser:
I'm in a similar boat like yours.....I'm tring to get off pain meds after 10 years on them. I've had several major surgeries, including two big back surgeries. Right now I'm about 4 months post-op from a big back fusion, and the pain from the operation is horrendous, but the side effects and w/d from the drugs is worse.
I've been on Vicodin and Percocet for about three years. I've been tapering down on the percs......7 days ago I went from 2 a day down to 1/2 a day and thought I might die on day 3, but I didn't. This is day 7 for me, and I think I'm going to stay on the 1/2 a day (1/4 in the morning and 1/4 at night) until I feel like trying another cut or CT.
Have you had any PT for your back when NOT on pain meds? I do think our bodies try to increase our pain, in an attempt to get more of the opiates. I'm going to get OFF all drugs, and stay off for awhile and see what my body does. Before I had this last surgery, I did a lot of web research, and I found a lot of information that said everybody has DDD in their spine by the time they are 40, and most of it is non-symptomatic. There's a possibility your pain can be elimianted by some good PT, but you'll have to get off the drugs to find out for sure.
Pain-wise, evenings are the worst for me....by that time my back and legs are screaming, but I get down on the floor and do an hour's worth of yoga and that does make nearly all the pain go away. Are you doing any stretching for your back?
Yes, early mornings are the worst for the w/d heebie-jeebies. That's when the panic and depression goes totally out of control. I just lie there, concentrate on my breathing and do a little mantra: "this is with-drawal......this is with-drawal...". I even made myself a little card to carry with me that says "They are DOWNERS. GET OFF THEM!"
Today is Sunday: are you going to be alone today? I am.....yeah, that's hard. I'm going to watch football.......hopefully, that will keep my mind occupied.
Lee
I'm in a similar boat like yours.....I'm tring to get off pain meds after 10 years on them. I've had several major surgeries, including two big back surgeries. Right now I'm about 4 months post-op from a big back fusion, and the pain from the operation is horrendous, but the side effects and w/d from the drugs is worse.
I've been on Vicodin and Percocet for about three years. I've been tapering down on the percs......7 days ago I went from 2 a day down to 1/2 a day and thought I might die on day 3, but I didn't. This is day 7 for me, and I think I'm going to stay on the 1/2 a day (1/4 in the morning and 1/4 at night) until I feel like trying another cut or CT.
Have you had any PT for your back when NOT on pain meds? I do think our bodies try to increase our pain, in an attempt to get more of the opiates. I'm going to get OFF all drugs, and stay off for awhile and see what my body does. Before I had this last surgery, I did a lot of web research, and I found a lot of information that said everybody has DDD in their spine by the time they are 40, and most of it is non-symptomatic. There's a possibility your pain can be elimianted by some good PT, but you'll have to get off the drugs to find out for sure.
Pain-wise, evenings are the worst for me....by that time my back and legs are screaming, but I get down on the floor and do an hour's worth of yoga and that does make nearly all the pain go away. Are you doing any stretching for your back?
Yes, early mornings are the worst for the w/d heebie-jeebies. That's when the panic and depression goes totally out of control. I just lie there, concentrate on my breathing and do a little mantra: "this is with-drawal......this is with-drawal...". I even made myself a little card to carry with me that says "They are DOWNERS. GET OFF THEM!"
Today is Sunday: are you going to be alone today? I am.....yeah, that's hard. I'm going to watch football.......hopefully, that will keep my mind occupied.
Lee
Lee-My Doc told me the reason the mornings are the worst is because your body releases adrenaline in order to wake you up from your suppsed sleep. The adrenaline is what gives us all the heevy-jeevys...but who am I to talk..I'm a failure.
Lee - I started PT last week but then got a call that my insurance company won't cover them and I have to go to the naval hospital for it. The problem with that is, I am alone with a 4 year old and no babysitter. The PT I went to last week understood and watched him and played with him while I was getting my stuff done and I KNOW the naval hospital is not going to do that. They treat you like a herd of cattle there. This has been my problem with doing PT the whole time. My husband is not here because of being deployed and my family is across the country. If I could at least be near my parents, I think this would go a lot better for me. But as it is now, I am the only one to care for my son and whether I feel like it or not, I have to do what I have to do. I feel better at night, I think because it's almost time to go to bed, and even though the sleep is not the greatest, I do get some and I can forget about hurting for a while. I picked a bad time to go off of these. It's hard to find a good time. At times I feel okay, and I even washed some clothes last night and cleaned up a little. Even though mornings are bad, at least I have going to work tomorrow to look forward to.
K
K
Hey Moonryser, how are you? I was just thinking of you and wondering how you were coming along. I hope you're feeling just wonderful!!! Love and God bless, Kat
Danny, you aren't a failure.
Moon, that song thing is funny...I used a "drill seargeant" in my head for a while..when I thought about using I would use a drill seargeant's voice to chastise and keep me positive.
IS THAT THE SAME THING AS HEARING VOICES??? lol
It will get better and congratulate yourself for trying. No victories that weren't hard are worth having anyway, right??
Moon, that song thing is funny...I used a "drill seargeant" in my head for a while..when I thought about using I would use a drill seargeant's voice to chastise and keep me positive.
IS THAT THE SAME THING AS HEARING VOICES??? lol
It will get better and congratulate yourself for trying. No victories that weren't hard are worth having anyway, right??
Hi Moon:
Sorry, I missed your post. I started feeling better at about day thirteen. At least I wasn't in excruciating chronic pain but being an addict I started to add jogging into my daily walk and hurt myself again. This was back in June. I took Celebrex for awhile and still do if my back acts up. I also used ice and a heating pad, alternating. How are you feeling now? The accupuncture really helped me more than anything else.
Rach
Sorry, I missed your post. I started feeling better at about day thirteen. At least I wasn't in excruciating chronic pain but being an addict I started to add jogging into my daily walk and hurt myself again. This was back in June. I took Celebrex for awhile and still do if my back acts up. I also used ice and a heating pad, alternating. How are you feeling now? The accupuncture really helped me more than anything else.
Rach
Rachel, how does the celebrex work? I guess I will ask my dr for that. You can't get addicted to that, can you?
No, you can't get addicted to it. It's in a class of drugs called Cox-2 inhibitors. It's an anti-inflammatory with the same mode of action as Vioxx.
Rach
Rach
HELLO I WAS wondering how your doing post me ok take care, yspearing
Hi MoonRyser:
How are things going? I'm on Day 8 here of 1/2 perc a day....if things go OK this week, this weekend I'll cut that in half again. Yesterday was bad for me, both w/d wise and pain wise......
Sorry to hear you can't go to PT for your back. Are you familiar with the two types of exercises you should be doing for your back? Flexion vs. extension? If not, I could send the exercises to you. Between my amateur atheletic life and recovery from all my injuries, I've learned enough about PT to probably be able to hang out my own shingle.....<G>......
Let me know: or, if anybody else is having back problems, I could post them here......
Lee
How are things going? I'm on Day 8 here of 1/2 perc a day....if things go OK this week, this weekend I'll cut that in half again. Yesterday was bad for me, both w/d wise and pain wise......
Sorry to hear you can't go to PT for your back. Are you familiar with the two types of exercises you should be doing for your back? Flexion vs. extension? If not, I could send the exercises to you. Between my amateur atheletic life and recovery from all my injuries, I've learned enough about PT to probably be able to hang out my own shingle.....<G>......
Let me know: or, if anybody else is having back problems, I could post them here......
Lee
Lee, please post that...
I know yoga helps me as well...
I know yoga helps me as well...
Wow,please don't give up. I actually find you inspiring. I knew it was my turn to stop this merry-go-round a few days ago. I even went as far as to get valium to help me with withdrawls. Guess what I have since done? Decided I like valium,too. I'm in deeper than I thought and have done nothing but make excuses why today isn't the day. Please keep going!!! If you can do it, maybe your strength will help me. GOOD-LUCK
XOXO
LAP
XOXO
LAP
That's just the way we are Lap, crazy isn't it? But don't you give up! You are on your way and you've made a good start. Sometimes it takes us a little time to work the kinks out, but you'll get there. Good luck and much love, Kat
