Hi everyone. I'll try tho keep this short. So it started with vicodin a few years ago with periods of on and off using. I remember being sober and saving money and feeling great. I want that again more than ever. I'm a single working full time father of an 8yo boy who is my life. So it turned into like an 8 to 10 vic a day habbit until someone introduced me to the devil, heroin. I've only ever snorted it as in to scared to bang it because of needles and addiction. The habit lasted 4 too 5 monthsuntil i got sick of it and wanted my life back. I have amazing willpower btw. The withdrawals after say 26 hours were nothing according to the COWS scale but i took a suboxone and felt much better am hour later. The problem is i got hooked on the subs which i didn't want to do. It was much cheaper but why should i have to depend on something to make me feel normal. So i gave in after 6 months of sub use and been snorting h again for almost a month now. I think i would rather withdrawal for a couple days than weeks. So i wanna quit now badly. I want my life. I don't wanna lose my son. I'm behind on my bills and rent. I have a job. My own place. I pay my rent, water, phone bill, gas, electric, cable and i support my son and father with no help. I feel like im holding the world up and i wanna just let go and suffer wds with no sub but then i won't be able to work and help everyone. So with my short time using, i have 5 packs left do you think i could wait until i feel horrible and snort bump by bump so when it's gone i have mild withdrawals. Like i said, i have amazing willpower and i will do this. Whatever it takes. My son i my life. I DONT want to use anymore. Please give me any advice and help as your words mean more to me than you know. Push me. . i will not fail! Thank you
Hang in there bro things get better..
It is 6am approaching day 6 and i still feel like complete a** but i feel 2x better then i did day2. I also have a strong will just like you and for that reason subs never worked for me because it masked the withdrawls and i would always relapse a week later,i feel like i needed to experience this pain and agogny to push through to complete pure happyness and push through with my sobriety. Another thing that has helped me is to stay as postive as possible. Dont ever feel down just remember at night damn that was a bad f***kn day but if i never use i never have to experience that again.and get support tell your family about whats going on. Heroin has been my dark secret for 2 years, but now that he knows its great to have someone to talk to. (dad clean 16 years off alchol and coke.) maybe try marijuana it helps pass the day and Hopefully you can take a week off work. Anyway goodluck bro i wish you and your son the best. You have to truly want it!!!
It is 6am approaching day 6 and i still feel like complete a** but i feel 2x better then i did day2. I also have a strong will just like you and for that reason subs never worked for me because it masked the withdrawls and i would always relapse a week later,i feel like i needed to experience this pain and agogny to push through to complete pure happyness and push through with my sobriety. Another thing that has helped me is to stay as postive as possible. Dont ever feel down just remember at night damn that was a bad f***kn day but if i never use i never have to experience that again.and get support tell your family about whats going on. Heroin has been my dark secret for 2 years, but now that he knows its great to have someone to talk to. (dad clean 16 years off alchol and coke.) maybe try marijuana it helps pass the day and Hopefully you can take a week off work. Anyway goodluck bro i wish you and your son the best. You have to truly want it!!!
i was addicted once. not to heroin though. I was always sensible to not touch any of the class A. I was addicted to weed and the ritual.
one day i had bad weed. (i used to cook and eat it) it was so strong i had paranoya and panic attacks and chills. I was f***ed. I thought i went mad. I would look at a door and just wish i could open a door and walk through it as a normal person. I used to open a room door and panic to what was there. or if it was too bright in the room im going into.. or if there were more people in the room then i wanted...
I promised i would never touch it again if i could be better and be the happy person i used to be.
Took me 6months to get over the initial substance induced anxiety. 6 months of panic attacks that gradually faded. Took me around 5 years to get over it gradually properly. I had to retrain my brain and myself. Sometimes new events would trigger my anxiety but with time it all vanished.
now i walk through a door normal again but this time i appreciate it where as before i took it for granted.
Now when i walk through a door into another room i smile reflecting back on those dark days and i appreciate it.
You want to walk through doors and smile and be normal?
then dont touch heroin ever again. One touch is addiction. 2nd touch is hell.
one day i had bad weed. (i used to cook and eat it) it was so strong i had paranoya and panic attacks and chills. I was f***ed. I thought i went mad. I would look at a door and just wish i could open a door and walk through it as a normal person. I used to open a room door and panic to what was there. or if it was too bright in the room im going into.. or if there were more people in the room then i wanted...
I promised i would never touch it again if i could be better and be the happy person i used to be.
Took me 6months to get over the initial substance induced anxiety. 6 months of panic attacks that gradually faded. Took me around 5 years to get over it gradually properly. I had to retrain my brain and myself. Sometimes new events would trigger my anxiety but with time it all vanished.
now i walk through a door normal again but this time i appreciate it where as before i took it for granted.
Now when i walk through a door into another room i smile reflecting back on those dark days and i appreciate it.
You want to walk through doors and smile and be normal?
then dont touch heroin ever again. One touch is addiction. 2nd touch is hell.
Nah... 1st time is golden...9000 and a detox. ..is hell...
im intrigued to know why people feel its golden.
what is the feeling. im going to open a thread on it i think. im fascinated to know why once its tried your hooked
what is the feeling. im going to open a thread on it i think. im fascinated to know why once its tried your hooked
Not everyone that tries once is hooked..or love the high I should say to become hooked. Some really don't. I can't understand why people love crack..horrible high to me. With that said its not worth the gamble to try anything because you don't know your brain and what it May feel like it needs more of...
Mk's right...not everyone likes the ride... what I can't walk away from...someone else can. ..
This s*** is obviously not easy to come off of, and I dont think I need to say that being clean and sober is better than one second back in my addiction. Have you ever considered an outpatient rehab program? Your story is very similar to mine in trying to do it yourself by buying subs off the street and trying to handle this huge a** elephant with all of your other responsibilities. My experience with subs while in the rehab program was pretty great. But remember, recovery is a f***ing marathon and youve gotta cut yourself some slack for days you feel like s***..unfortunetly this s*** doesnt happen overnight-youll go through depression, good days and bad days...the first year of recovery is the hardest and your body and brain have a lot of recovering to do.
Delete all of your contacts, block those s***s from your phone, get yourself into an outpatient rehab program with subs. Im 2 weeks off of subs now..first time in 11 years without any substance in my body. I had been on subs for the last 10 months and was tappered off by my doctor there when we felt I was ready. Started on 8mgs, after a few weeks I was on 2mgs..even with 2mgs, you go through withdrawal..but thats what a suboxone mantainance program is all about...subs will keep you stable as you work through rehab and set you up to be in a better place mentally to deal with the withdrawal. Didnt sleep for a week, had restless legs and low energy for a couple of days but nothing really terrible...and at this point i havent touched H in 10 months so why go back? Ill say though, not until I was off of subs did I realize what a crutch they were. I was so damn depressed that first week and I still have good days and bad days but as I said before, I rather be a little sad and sober than spend one more second in my addiction. Withdrawal and physical dependency is not something Id like to ever experience again and the road was so long to get here. Aint never goin back!!
Delete all of your contacts, block those s***s from your phone, get yourself into an outpatient rehab program with subs. Im 2 weeks off of subs now..first time in 11 years without any substance in my body. I had been on subs for the last 10 months and was tappered off by my doctor there when we felt I was ready. Started on 8mgs, after a few weeks I was on 2mgs..even with 2mgs, you go through withdrawal..but thats what a suboxone mantainance program is all about...subs will keep you stable as you work through rehab and set you up to be in a better place mentally to deal with the withdrawal. Didnt sleep for a week, had restless legs and low energy for a couple of days but nothing really terrible...and at this point i havent touched H in 10 months so why go back? Ill say though, not until I was off of subs did I realize what a crutch they were. I was so damn depressed that first week and I still have good days and bad days but as I said before, I rather be a little sad and sober than spend one more second in my addiction. Withdrawal and physical dependency is not something Id like to ever experience again and the road was so long to get here. Aint never goin back!!
