I have no idea how i delt with my emotions before dope. Now I have no idea how i am going to deal with them without! So overwhelmed right now and feel so out of control! Can't even sort through them all! Do not want to see what i really have done but know that i have no choice! I CAN NOT USE!! Took s*** to make me feel better, now take so i dont feel!
I feel like s*** now and it's only the start of a road of hell! BUT I NEED TO FEEL AGAIN!
In the beginning when God created the world it was Dark and he said .. let there be light.. and there was and God saw that it was good. there is darkness in and around you too but God can shine his light around you and in you if you let him .
First of all, it is a scarey thought to be alone but you are never really alone. This drug that is referred to as the Devils drug .. <this is if we are talking meth>.. is just that.. a Living hell and a b**** to quit .. but i really think the first place one needs to turn to quit is God or as Al anon prefers to say.. A higher power .. There is really only one person who has to date ever truly defeated the devil .. and that is God himself .. there was nothing that he could do to keep Christ from making the ultimate sacrifice and if you were the Only one down here he would of come to make it Just for you because that is how Much he loves you .. So much it is insane..
I am alone right now in many ways but never Really alone.. there are people out there to help you .. therapists, treatment centers, naranon etc.. all it takes is a phonecall.. As far as you feeling like s*** for things you've done wrong .. Recognise it for what it is .. An addiction which makes a person horrible.. In your Right frame of mind would you have ever chosen to do the things you did ? You might even say Yes !! i chose to get high .. that you did but did you Really Know for certain what you were saying yes too ?!
Maybe what you could do is Eventually try to right some of the wrongs you have done.. In fact i do believe that's the 6th step in the 12 steps of any addiction .. and there is time to reach that step .. The first step is to Admit you have the problem which is sort of what i hear you doing tonight..
You're beating yourself up for not being able to control something that is Out of Your control .. You're Powerless over it .. But .. you are Not Powerless over making a phonecall and a Choice to choose.. Just Go easy on yourself .. take the steps to make the change.. You also have the support of the posts to help you .. you can make it .. like i said you are Never alone and i can only speak for myself but if i Personally had the addiction the Very First thing i would do is call a priest or a pastor to talk to and pray with .. You can beat this .. One day at time..
I check in now and then if you Need to talk .. Peace
First of all, it is a scarey thought to be alone but you are never really alone. This drug that is referred to as the Devils drug .. <this is if we are talking meth>.. is just that.. a Living hell and a b**** to quit .. but i really think the first place one needs to turn to quit is God or as Al anon prefers to say.. A higher power .. There is really only one person who has to date ever truly defeated the devil .. and that is God himself .. there was nothing that he could do to keep Christ from making the ultimate sacrifice and if you were the Only one down here he would of come to make it Just for you because that is how Much he loves you .. So much it is insane..
I am alone right now in many ways but never Really alone.. there are people out there to help you .. therapists, treatment centers, naranon etc.. all it takes is a phonecall.. As far as you feeling like s*** for things you've done wrong .. Recognise it for what it is .. An addiction which makes a person horrible.. In your Right frame of mind would you have ever chosen to do the things you did ? You might even say Yes !! i chose to get high .. that you did but did you Really Know for certain what you were saying yes too ?!
Maybe what you could do is Eventually try to right some of the wrongs you have done.. In fact i do believe that's the 6th step in the 12 steps of any addiction .. and there is time to reach that step .. The first step is to Admit you have the problem which is sort of what i hear you doing tonight..
You're beating yourself up for not being able to control something that is Out of Your control .. You're Powerless over it .. But .. you are Not Powerless over making a phonecall and a Choice to choose.. Just Go easy on yourself .. take the steps to make the change.. You also have the support of the posts to help you .. you can make it .. like i said you are Never alone and i can only speak for myself but if i Personally had the addiction the Very First thing i would do is call a priest or a pastor to talk to and pray with .. You can beat this .. One day at time..
I check in now and then if you Need to talk .. Peace
