My brother recently started dating a very nice girl who has an addiction problem. She is unemployed and has moved in with him. He admits to giving her money to purchase percocets (which she buys from immediate family members or off the street..her mother is addicted to oxy) he states he is scared if he doesn't buy them she will do whatever she can to get them. She admits to being addicted to more serious drugs throughout her most of her life. He previous boyfriend OD and died last year. Last night she OD and had to go to the er (her family was at my brothers home and tried to convince him to let her sleep it off...the Dr. said if she would have gone to sleep she would have died) While in her hospital bed..she wanted her pills, which her grandmother advised her not to worry she had some in her pants at home (the girl almost died!! and this is her grandmother!! who states that her mother isn't any good because shes a drug addict)...my brother has done everything he knows to do for her...he recently had his home robbed, by some she admitted was her immediate family....and has noticed other things missing...he wants to get her help, however, she refuses stating that she has done the 28 day program and it didn't work..she refuses to go to conseling...and says after this week she will stop... my brother found a liquid in her purse (which Dr.s determined was methodone...thus explaining some of her behavior)...my brother is devestated, how can we help this girl? He says he can't live like this, but nothing changes...what should we do to help him and is there any help for her?
You ask, "How can your brother help this girl?" Having seen over many years hundreds of people in the throes of active addiction to substances ranging from marijuana and alcohol all the way up to oxys, meth and heroin, IMHO, the answer to that question is quite simple. He can't.
The only way this girl can be helped is when she hits bottom and chooses to seek a drug free life. Anything he does to protect her or assist her in the meantime is simply enabling her.
You ask: "How can I help my brother?" I might ask, How can I help my brother avoid having his entire life destroyed by this girl, who is an acknowleged drug addict and probable thief?" It seems to me the answer to that one is fairly obvious, but I will state it for the record: He needs to put as much distance as humanly possible between himself and this girl.
I will suggest that you and your brother look into 12 step meetings geared toward those with relationship issues that involve addicts; specifically, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.
Good luck.
The only way this girl can be helped is when she hits bottom and chooses to seek a drug free life. Anything he does to protect her or assist her in the meantime is simply enabling her.
You ask: "How can I help my brother?" I might ask, How can I help my brother avoid having his entire life destroyed by this girl, who is an acknowleged drug addict and probable thief?" It seems to me the answer to that one is fairly obvious, but I will state it for the record: He needs to put as much distance as humanly possible between himself and this girl.
I will suggest that you and your brother look into 12 step meetings geared toward those with relationship issues that involve addicts; specifically, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.
Good luck.
as always august,so true and very well said .the girlfriend has to want to quit,become one of us, and make it through.best of luck!
Cow Girl, thank you soooo much for sticking up for me, I think I know why it is that I get picked apart by some people,I am alot younger than all of you, see I am only 27 years old, so I think that our level's of maturaturity are at diffrent levels, I am trying to figure out how to be apart of this "TEAM" w/ out being picked apart because of my posts?? so what do you suggest, because I need you & I paln on staying if that is ok with you all?, keep me posted thank you for the support & take care GREAT JOB GIRL!!(YOU GO GIRL!!!) God Bless you all............................ Mitzy
