Hey for everyone on here that knows my story. I keep coming back time after time. I just can't get clean! I am now working two jobs. I have no time to go through the withdrawal. The one job I just started not to long ago so I can't afford to miss days already. The other job is waitressing. I just can't through this without having to miss work and without Shawn working right now we can't afford to both not work. I just want to be off of these things. I don't know what to do. I wish there was something you can take to help, if you are a person like me who has to continue to work.I can't go into rehab I doubt my doctor will prescribe suboxone. I just need help and I don't know what to do.
Fiona,
I don't know your story. How much of the income from your two jobs currently goes to supporting your habit?
Gina
I don't know your story. How much of the income from your two jobs currently goes to supporting your habit?
Gina
Too much!!! I know that! At the same time I need the money to pay our bills. I just really hate the situation I am in right now. Last time when I came off of these pills I only had one job and they were understanding and let me have like a week off. It was really nice. This time around I don't have that option. I wish I would have just stayed clean. I stayed clean for like 8-9 months and then I don't know what happened.I guess my doctor started prescribing me tremadols and then I fractured my ankle again and I was back on the hydrocodones and so on.... I just really hate this right now!!! I am depressed on the pills and off of them!
Fiona,
You can get clean. It takes time. Quitting isn't easy.
If quitting were easy this board wouldn't be here. If quitting was easy there wouldn't be detox centers all over the world. If quitting was easy AA/NA wouldn't exist. If quitting was easy half the people in jail and prison wouldn't be there. I don't think I need to go on do I?
I truly believe no one can do this alone. You don't have to try and do this alone! I kept my addiction my dirty little secret. I quit so may times I have lost track of how many. When I asked for help my life changed. People came out of the word work to help me. With the help of an Addiction Specialist I made a plan and stuck to it.
I took Suboxone for 22 days and it saved my life. Have you spoken to an Addiction Specialist about it? I'm not trying to shove Suboxone down your throat. Suboxone isn't for everyone, but it's worth looking into.
You must go to an ADDICTION SPECIALIST. Not a regular GP or someone like that. You wouldn't go to a Dentist for Diabetes. Addiction Specialist understand addiction and will choose the best treatment for you.
Call you local hospital. Ask to speak to someone in their drug detox department. Ask what is avaliable to you. Ask about their in patient treatment. Ask about their outpatient treatment. Ask if the hospital has low or no cost treatment plans. Tell them about your work schedule. Tell them everything you have posted here. Ask them to recommend 3 Addiction Specialists for you to contact and have a consultation with. Get prices!
Then.....
Call your insurance Company. Ask your insurance Company what you are covered for and what your not covered for.
Once you know what is available to you, you can make realistic plans. You will know what you need to do. You won't be in the dark anymore.
I needed the intervention of medical care to stop the pill cycle. Quitting has nothing to do with willpower. I thought it did and the reason I couldn't stop was because I was weak. I was wrong. You can't snap you fingers and addiction goes away.
Your situation isn't unique. Almost everybody who is addicted has to work, has kids to take care of and all the rest of it. There is a plan for you, you have to make the phone calls and get the information.
Your going to do this! It just takes time.
Catherine
You can get clean. It takes time. Quitting isn't easy.
If quitting were easy this board wouldn't be here. If quitting was easy there wouldn't be detox centers all over the world. If quitting was easy AA/NA wouldn't exist. If quitting was easy half the people in jail and prison wouldn't be there. I don't think I need to go on do I?
I truly believe no one can do this alone. You don't have to try and do this alone! I kept my addiction my dirty little secret. I quit so may times I have lost track of how many. When I asked for help my life changed. People came out of the word work to help me. With the help of an Addiction Specialist I made a plan and stuck to it.
I took Suboxone for 22 days and it saved my life. Have you spoken to an Addiction Specialist about it? I'm not trying to shove Suboxone down your throat. Suboxone isn't for everyone, but it's worth looking into.
You must go to an ADDICTION SPECIALIST. Not a regular GP or someone like that. You wouldn't go to a Dentist for Diabetes. Addiction Specialist understand addiction and will choose the best treatment for you.
Call you local hospital. Ask to speak to someone in their drug detox department. Ask what is avaliable to you. Ask about their in patient treatment. Ask about their outpatient treatment. Ask if the hospital has low or no cost treatment plans. Tell them about your work schedule. Tell them everything you have posted here. Ask them to recommend 3 Addiction Specialists for you to contact and have a consultation with. Get prices!
Then.....
Call your insurance Company. Ask your insurance Company what you are covered for and what your not covered for.
Once you know what is available to you, you can make realistic plans. You will know what you need to do. You won't be in the dark anymore.
I needed the intervention of medical care to stop the pill cycle. Quitting has nothing to do with willpower. I thought it did and the reason I couldn't stop was because I was weak. I was wrong. You can't snap you fingers and addiction goes away.
Your situation isn't unique. Almost everybody who is addicted has to work, has kids to take care of and all the rest of it. There is a plan for you, you have to make the phone calls and get the information.
Your going to do this! It just takes time.
Catherine
Hey Catherine...very good advice and its good see you honey!
I agree with your views on suboxone. You could be right...it might be a good fit for Fiona...she has pain issues and is really at the end of her rope.
It is another avenue and one that we all pray leads you to sobriety and recovery!
Keep posting Fiona...I think you are so ready to put this nightmare behind you.
I agree with your views on suboxone. You could be right...it might be a good fit for Fiona...she has pain issues and is really at the end of her rope.
It is another avenue and one that we all pray leads you to sobriety and recovery!
Keep posting Fiona...I think you are so ready to put this nightmare behind you.
Hey everyone thanks for the good advice. Just so you all know today is day 1 of withdrawal. I am hoping by Friday most of the physical will be gone, that is when I have to work again. I called into work today, because I woke up and decided to start coming off. I forgot how horrible it was. My legs are going crazy I cannot sit still. I remember last going to the ER because I felt so bad and they gave me a clonidine patch and some other stuff. I don't know what to do, I just want to take one and i know this will all go away!!!
That is excellent news...you can do this. You need to flush your stash! You know as well as I do Fiona...having those pills will only tempt you. Do it now...you don't need to have the committee in your head messing with you.
You can do it....I think you are right, by Friday...the worst will be over...then time to start dealing with the real reasons that you self medicate. Concentrate on getting through the next few days!
I am really proud of you....keep posting, you are not alone!
You can do it....I think you are right, by Friday...the worst will be over...then time to start dealing with the real reasons that you self medicate. Concentrate on getting through the next few days!
I am really proud of you....keep posting, you are not alone!
Fiona,
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
I know you feel like poop and it will continue for at while but it will be over and you won't have to chase pills again.
Drink water! Glasses and glasses of water. Your body need the water to hydrate and you can pee the pills and toxons out faster. It's hot now and along with sweating normally you should be sweating a lot because of the WD's so you need water. Because of the dirrhea you also need the water.
Eat. Your body needs fuel now more than ever. Fresh fruit and vegetables are perfect now. Banannas will help the leg cramps.
I know the last thing you want to do is eat but you have to. Ask somene to go get you some Ensure. It's a meal in a can. It's for people who need a lot of nutrition and can't get it in a regular meal. It tastes like a milkshake (kinda). It comes in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Slim Fast will also serve the same purpose. I drank the stuff and it isn't bad!
Baby yourself now. Take baths. Force yourself to go outside and walk a little. Walking will make you feel better.
Each hour you go without a pill you are an hour closer to freedom.
Keep psoting, it helps to talk about it and let everyone know how you doing.
Catherine
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
I know you feel like poop and it will continue for at while but it will be over and you won't have to chase pills again.
Drink water! Glasses and glasses of water. Your body need the water to hydrate and you can pee the pills and toxons out faster. It's hot now and along with sweating normally you should be sweating a lot because of the WD's so you need water. Because of the dirrhea you also need the water.
Eat. Your body needs fuel now more than ever. Fresh fruit and vegetables are perfect now. Banannas will help the leg cramps.
I know the last thing you want to do is eat but you have to. Ask somene to go get you some Ensure. It's a meal in a can. It's for people who need a lot of nutrition and can't get it in a regular meal. It tastes like a milkshake (kinda). It comes in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Slim Fast will also serve the same purpose. I drank the stuff and it isn't bad!
Baby yourself now. Take baths. Force yourself to go outside and walk a little. Walking will make you feel better.
Each hour you go without a pill you are an hour closer to freedom.
Keep psoting, it helps to talk about it and let everyone know how you doing.
Catherine
Fiona:
You can do this! You have got to flush your stash though...you cannot do this with pills in the house, or at least, I couldn't, and I don't know many who could.
Don't ask too much of yourself...okay?
Hot baths Fiona...they make those leg cramps vanish. Live in the hot bath if you have to...that is what I did. I was most comfortable in the bathtub, so I stayed there a lot!!!! Sorry, it takes what it takes, right???
Drink, drink, drink, fluids. Gatoraid, water, slimfast, whatever. Make sure you are getting nutrients in....and water will make toxins go out. So DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS.
Give yourself a fighting chance Fiona...and get rid of your sources and your stash...okay???
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I am so glad you are choosing to live...it is soooooo much better on this side...I promise.
Keep posting, let us know how you are.
Much respect,
Sarah
You can do this! You have got to flush your stash though...you cannot do this with pills in the house, or at least, I couldn't, and I don't know many who could.
Don't ask too much of yourself...okay?
Hot baths Fiona...they make those leg cramps vanish. Live in the hot bath if you have to...that is what I did. I was most comfortable in the bathtub, so I stayed there a lot!!!! Sorry, it takes what it takes, right???
Drink, drink, drink, fluids. Gatoraid, water, slimfast, whatever. Make sure you are getting nutrients in....and water will make toxins go out. So DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS.
Give yourself a fighting chance Fiona...and get rid of your sources and your stash...okay???
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I am so glad you are choosing to live...it is soooooo much better on this side...I promise.
Keep posting, let us know how you are.
Much respect,
Sarah
hey thanks everyone, but I caved the first day, but today I have only taken half of one(10mg hydro), I am trying so hard but yesterday was terrible I was having chest pains which I don't remember from the first time. I think it is because i have been messing around with a fetynol patch the last two days. I am trying to stick it out until I can fill my prescription of Klonipin, I know those will help me sleep. I also get a prescription of tremadols. Somebody I read used those to get off of hydros is this true? Could it really work. I know people can get addicted to tremadols from my own personal experience. I don't know what to do. THis is so hard. I don't want to be on these stupid things anymore. I just want it to be all over with. Those three days I can never make it they are so long and painful. I usually make it to the second day about half way and then I cave. Yesterday was day one and I didn't even make it, thats bad. I just felt so horrible!!!! I really think it was the fetynol patch. Does anybody know anything about these?
Fiona,
You sound pretty panicky. In the course of posting about getting off hydro's, you've mentioned three other drugs (fentanyl, tramadol, Klonopin). What exactly do you mean when you say, "i have been messing around with a fetynol patch the last two days"? I would have thought that if you didn't take hydros but put on a fentanyl patch, you wouldn't have any w/ds at all.
There's nothing that's going to make quitting painless or easy -- I used to smoke pot to cut back on percs, and take anything I could lay my hands on when I couldn't get either. That's not really quitting; that's delaying the inevitable.
Ready, willing, able. You sound like you're ready to quit. You sound like you're (provisionally) willing to quit. What can you do to maximize your ability to quit? Rehab, meetings, therapy? Flush your stash? Tear up your scrips and tell your doctor you can't have any more?
Good luck. Don't worry about what you weren't able to do yesterday. What have you learned from that to make you more able today?
Gina
You sound pretty panicky. In the course of posting about getting off hydro's, you've mentioned three other drugs (fentanyl, tramadol, Klonopin). What exactly do you mean when you say, "i have been messing around with a fetynol patch the last two days"? I would have thought that if you didn't take hydros but put on a fentanyl patch, you wouldn't have any w/ds at all.
There's nothing that's going to make quitting painless or easy -- I used to smoke pot to cut back on percs, and take anything I could lay my hands on when I couldn't get either. That's not really quitting; that's delaying the inevitable.
Ready, willing, able. You sound like you're ready to quit. You sound like you're (provisionally) willing to quit. What can you do to maximize your ability to quit? Rehab, meetings, therapy? Flush your stash? Tear up your scrips and tell your doctor you can't have any more?
Good luck. Don't worry about what you weren't able to do yesterday. What have you learned from that to make you more able today?
Gina
Ok the fetynl patch I cut it up into pieces and if you put it under your tongue you get more of that rush but it only lasts for a couple of hours so as soon as the few hours are up you start to feel withdrawal again. It is kind of pointless when you really think about it, but I dunno??? I just want to be done with all of it. I don't have time for rehab I have two jobs to work, without Shawn working right now i have to or we will lose everything!!! Life is just in the pits for me right now
Fiona...are you using that patch to get a "rush"? If that is your motivation you will not get clean that way.
The only way to stop pills is to...STOP PILLS! It is not easy...every reason that you give for not being able to quit is exactly the reasons you should be quitting. When you start to put all the energy that you put into getting your pills into quitting things will turn around.
You are going to have wd there is just no way around that. If you are experimenting with Fentanyl and other meds your are playing Russian Roulette!
It has to come from within. Have you thought about suboxone? Could be a good alternative method. Maybe you could do a short term detox with sub to get you off the pills....but then you need a program Fiona. You are in that crazy endless cycle and going in circles.
I was you....it took me a five year run with narcotics and I had lost myself. You have to ask yourself what you are willing to loose in order to keep this up.
I agree with Gina...don't worry about yesterday today is a new day. You can start over again today.
The only way to stop pills is to...STOP PILLS! It is not easy...every reason that you give for not being able to quit is exactly the reasons you should be quitting. When you start to put all the energy that you put into getting your pills into quitting things will turn around.
You are going to have wd there is just no way around that. If you are experimenting with Fentanyl and other meds your are playing Russian Roulette!
It has to come from within. Have you thought about suboxone? Could be a good alternative method. Maybe you could do a short term detox with sub to get you off the pills....but then you need a program Fiona. You are in that crazy endless cycle and going in circles.
I was you....it took me a five year run with narcotics and I had lost myself. You have to ask yourself what you are willing to loose in order to keep this up.
I agree with Gina...don't worry about yesterday today is a new day. You can start over again today.
I know and you know its so hard!!!! I was doing good for awhile like 8-9 months I didn't even think about taking or I didn't even miss the pills until one day it all started again with those stupid tramadols and from there the rest is history!!! I just need to stop but with all the work and such I don't have three days off in a row where I can just rest and lay in the bathtub all day. I don't know what to do? I talk about The klonipins i have horrible anxiety, to the point where I have even cut my arm on more then one occasion!! Those might help with the withdrawal especially at night when it comes to sleeping!!!
Fiona...I understand relapse. That is why when you stop taking pills it is so important that you have a program of recovery. Some deem just stopping as being dry. You have to discover the reason for all the behaviours and truly surrender.
This a powerful disease and left untreated it will and does rear its ugly head.
Nothing changes until something changes.
You know the drill. Like I said what are you willing to give up in order to keep up this lifestyle.
I feel for you because I was you...your anxiety comes right through the computer. Only you can do this.....sending hugs.
Keep posting..never give up.
This a powerful disease and left untreated it will and does rear its ugly head.
Nothing changes until something changes.
You know the drill. Like I said what are you willing to give up in order to keep up this lifestyle.
I feel for you because I was you...your anxiety comes right through the computer. Only you can do this.....sending hugs.
Keep posting..never give up.
Fiona, educate yourself on this drug. First and foremost, there are law suits after law suits of people of have died taking it as directed. The flip side there are countless deaths of those who abused it. It is a powerful drug that is prescribed for those suffering from cancer related pain.
It is a slow release drug that should take a person into day 3-4 pain free, so your 'rush' could very well kill you.
http://www.ebasedprevention.org/oew...ewn.asp?id=1034
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/PainMa...tory?id=2086872
http://alcoholism.about.com/od/pres.../bluf050706.htm
Is there anyway you can go to a detox center? Where are you getting the patches?
It is a slow release drug that should take a person into day 3-4 pain free, so your 'rush' could very well kill you.
http://www.ebasedprevention.org/oew...ewn.asp?id=1034
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/PainMa...tory?id=2086872
http://alcoholism.about.com/od/pres.../bluf050706.htm
Is there anyway you can go to a detox center? Where are you getting the patches?
I don't really like the patch, it wore off too quick!!! So that is probably a good thing! Anyways unfortunatley I cannot go to a detox because I have to work two jobs and with Shawn out of work right now we cannot afford to have both of us not working we would lose everything. We are already way behind as it is. I just got the gas bill today!! Yikes!!! One more and they said out a disconnection notice!!!
Fiona, Where were you stationed while in the Marines? My husband is in the Navy and on Submarines in Ct. My nephew is in the Marines stationed over in Iraq right now. Shantel
I was stationed in Camp Lejeune, NC 10th Marine Regiment Head Quarters Battery. For your son prayers are sent your way, and thats wonderful thank you to your husband for what he did!
Hi Fiona ~
Have you been diagnosed with the disease of addiction?
Namaste ~
Sammy
Have you been diagnosed with the disease of addiction?
Namaste ~
Sammy