I Surely Didn't Mean To Hurt Anyone!

Pain Pills
1
Hi,
I do not like the feeling of thinking I may have hurt someone, and when I find myself begining to justify my actions in order to asure myself I was right then I need to take a look at why I feel the need to justify something. If that need is because I have a sick feeling in my gut and no matter what I tell myself that feeling doesn't go away then I have to back track and make it right for me. Whether or not it's accepted is fine as long as I know I did the next right thing.
This also is the beginning of the road for me back to a drink or drug. Bare with me, I'm posting this for me, because I know it's the right thing to do. My own advise I give others, which has been given to me is always, pride in one self is good, but foolish pride will keep me sick. As far as the way I handled a situation the other day here, I stand by with no regret, I know what my intentions were and why I chose to say the things I did and I'm fine with that.

I'm not fine with taking shots at how someone else chooses to post. Because of how I'm delt with by the men I work the program with and the way I choose to deal with others in the program doesn't make it the right or wrong way.
I think most people that know me face to face, would tell you all Bob is a good
guy and a good friend and someone that would do anything for anyone. So,
when I get that sick feeling in my gut that I hurt someone I truley feel sad and lose sleep until I make it right, even if for know one else but for me.

So, Sammy, I'm not gonna beat around the bush here and have people speculate on who I'm talking about. I truley think you have a heart of gold, and post from the heart. I don't always agree with the sugar coating of words.
Your posts are full of love and respect for others. And it's wrong of me to put that down just because I don't talk that way. I hang with a pretty rough group of fellows for the most part in A.A. 1st Timers with alot of time and very direct and absolutly no bulls--t. And I've always been that way myself and thats what works for me, and being told what I need to hear in a very direct way from these guys has saved my life. Now don't get the wrong idea here, I'm not saying we go around yelling and cursing at people! lol It is very spiritual, I've learned being a man it's ok to cry, it's ok to tell another man, I love you etc.. But I guess when I read your posts and you start with, My Dear Sweet One, etc.. I just sort of tune out. Please believe me, I'm not putting your choice of words down, and I was 100% wrong to imply, which is what I did, that it was bulls--t.
And I hope you'll accept my apology for doing so. Your approach to posting here I know for a fact helps more people then the way I choose to post. I also know that we both want the same thing. For others to get this thing called recovery, because it is a beautiful way to live. Even if I wasn't an alcoholic and an addict, it would be a beautiful way to live. And for that I'm grateful. I feel like sometimes I have this seceret to life thats such a shame "normal" people will never know about. Your choice of words isn't wrong, not that I need to tell you that, what I need to tell you is it's wrong for me to suggest it is, because it's not "My Way". I could have emailed this apology to you, but I didn't think that would be fair to treat you wrong here, and say sorry in an email. I feel that since I wrongly took a shot at you publicly then I should also apologize publicly.

So, if your still reading at this point, lol, I'm truley sorry if I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry for judging your approach in helping others, it was wrong. From the heart,
I feel bad and I know you know I love you and I have no excuse.

Take care.....................................God bless........................................Bob
2
Sammy and Cheryl,

I just want to add a sincere apology of my own to Bob's thread here too. I over-reacted and was quite wrong with my words. If you don't accept this as a heart felt way of my making ammends on my part, I don't blame you. But I am sorry and I regret my actions and words today. Please forgive me.


3
Sammy,

I just wanted you to know that my apology came before I had read any of the other posts here about this subject. I have not been on all evening and the entire time that I was out running errands, I was feeling so bad for the way in which I addressed you and Cheryl. This is all my fault, no one else's and I take full responsibility for it. It will not happen again, I can assure you of this. If you have read on our site, then you know that in the past week I have had devastating news about my brother and sister and I guess I am going thur the grieving process, right now I am just striking out and I'm sorry that it was directed towards you. That is no excuse for what I have said in my posts to you and Cheryl but it is the only one that I have. So again, please forgive me.

God bless,

4
Bob,
Sammy isn't coming back here at all.That was a wonderful posts so i just wanted to let you know that you could email it to her.I know her well not just online but in person and she is even better in person.Your post said nothing about me in which i know you are mad at me about an assumption in which you are wrong.That makes me sad because i thought we were friends too.It's confusing around here.

Sharon,
I think by calling me Sheryl you are referring to me ladybug?
if so i accept your apology.I have no resentments towards you.My post was not meant to hurt you in any way.I really do have a personality and that was a low blow.I found out yesterday that you hold a resentment with me from the past.I am clueless about this and if you would care to discuss it then please email me because i too am not coming back here.It is not my wish to leave here with someone having a resentment towards me.I am truly sorry about what is going on in your life right now.I can also relate as my entire life has been turned upside down like an earthquake hit me.it is during these times we have to be careful and stay in the moment.
love&light,
ladybug(Sheryl)
BtrFly13@comcast.net
5
Ladybug, (I know we don't know each other at all, but it's worth a try). Apologies have been made. Explanations as to what lead up to it were attempted. Couldn't you and Sammy have a forgiving heart and go forward? Why leave? I had much worse thrown at me once, it truly stung, but I hung in there, made some new friends and eventually reconciled with old ones. Forgiveness feels so good. Everyone could learn from this and try harder to be more kind. There's no need to pack up and leave. Hope you consider it. Love, Kat
6
I'm not mad at anyone! I'm simply done with the bs. Childish backstabbin' crap.
As far as your concerned I haven't even talked to you in I don't know how long.
For no other reason then I just haven't. When I did im ya' I never could catch up with ya'. no big deal. Yes i thought you were referring to me in a post but according to Gina you weren't so thats fine. water under the bridge.

To be honest I made that post above for me, it was the right thing to do.
But after finding out a few things last night, not only am I done, I'm almost pi--ed off I said sorry. But I gotta do the right thing for me.

Carrie made a post last night leading ppl to believe her and Gina were talking again. Not true. Things were cleared up a bit, but thats it. This is childish, I don't even think kids act this way. This has nothing to do with recovery and it's sad. And I now know for a fact the very person that looks like a saint here caused it all! I feel bad for my wife who wouldn't hurt anyone, and even feel bad for Carrie believe it or not. I will take no more part in trusting people I can't talk to in person.

I'm Bob a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict clean and sober only by God's grace and the fellowship of A.A. and the people in it. And I for sure don't need this chaos on my already rocky road. Take care.......God bless...........Bob