Wow. I can't believe I am writing this post. But I did it - I told my husband.
Ever since I started posting on this site I have hid it from my husband. I would close it out so he wouldn't see what I was doing. Every time.
I have also been going through w/d's (day 5) I have been nothing but a bi*@#, snapping, yelling ect. I have constantly been cold, and not "myself" (which I guess would be the "me on pills".
Anyway, he approched me as I was leaving ( the security alarm went off at my work, and I had to meet the police) and he said that he wanted to know what was going on with me. He said I was acting strange - especialy when it came to the computer stuff. He wanted to know if I was meeting other guys in chat rooms???
Earlier I was looking up local N.A. meetings & times. I found a couple for today, so I wrote the directions down. (Our printer is broke). I know he saw that I had written down directions for something, so I guess that really made him wonder about me meeting people. lol
So when he asked what was going on, I told him the truth. I could not stop crying. I thought he would be REALLY mad at me, but he gave me a hug and said that he loves me, and that he is glad I am doing something about my problem, and that he is here for me.
So, you all were right. You said that I should tell him. Now I feel like an enormous load has been taken off my back, and at least with the w/d symptoms, he can somewhat understand why I am acting the way I am. I still don't know what I was going to tell him if I was going to go to that meeting tonight. If he already had thoughts that I was cheating, that probably would have been the final push.lol
So thank you so much for everything. By the way, the meeting is at 22:30 hours tonight. What time is that??? I could just imagine getting there at the end. That would be such a waste considering it is 20 miles away. If anyone knows, please tell me. Also what do you think about me telling my husand?
also - Jasmine, are you out there? I am ready to call you!
-britney
Brit- Good for you telling your hubby. It sounds like he really loves you. My wife knows I'm on this board, but she still think I'm doing something "funny" once in a while, only because we all feel like this can be a little private. This is for addicts, so we all have a common bond. So don't feel bad, YEAH on your hubby and keep going! I'm sure we all here have similar stories.
I think you did the best thing you could for yourself telling your husband. A huge chunk of stress is now lifted off of you. See you thought he would be upset and he proved you wrong......didn't that make you feel great.
Take Care..
Tina
Take Care..
Tina
I feel a lot better now, but I still want.....
He is actually sitting with me right now, and I am showing him the website. I am telling him about all the different people who have the same problem as me. I didn't even now how many people were online with problems. And to think about all the others who share the addiction that we don't know about. It is scary.
I don't want to die from this, or somehow lose my kids. The one thing that I think about is if my husband wonders how I was able to care for our kids while taking the meds. And as all of us know, people can function quite well on meds. Sometimes better on than off. lol.
I seriously am worried that he thinks of that, and I don't know how to explain it to him.
-britney
He is actually sitting with me right now, and I am showing him the website. I am telling him about all the different people who have the same problem as me. I didn't even now how many people were online with problems. And to think about all the others who share the addiction that we don't know about. It is scary.
I don't want to die from this, or somehow lose my kids. The one thing that I think about is if my husband wonders how I was able to care for our kids while taking the meds. And as all of us know, people can function quite well on meds. Sometimes better on than off. lol.
I seriously am worried that he thinks of that, and I don't know how to explain it to him.
-britney
Hey Brit! I am so glad that you told your husband!! I know that it feels much better and now he can support you. It's great that he didn't get mad. To explain how you cared for the kids while on meds: just explain that the meds made you feel "normal". I know tht while I was on meds, the days when I wa out were worse than the days I had them, because when I was out, I was really sick. As soon as I took some more pills, I was "back to my old self". It's hard for someone who has never been addicted to anything to grasp, but I'm sure he will understand, even if he can't relate. Good luck and stay strong. You are doing great!!! Fight those cravings and keep busy. Love, Jess
Hey Brit,
I can tell you personal experience that my husband functions much better on than off, but is his way of thinking. He thinks that he can't do anything without some kind of drug. He would have had 30 days tomorrow but he blew that because he had to go back to the drugs. He thought he couldn't handle the stress of life without it. But you know what he never gave himself a fair chance to try......he just took the easy way out...to me. So now he is starting over....day 2 and it sucks.
So you stay strong and find yourself as much support as possible and remember that you are much better without the drugs than with.
Tina
I can tell you personal experience that my husband functions much better on than off, but is his way of thinking. He thinks that he can't do anything without some kind of drug. He would have had 30 days tomorrow but he blew that because he had to go back to the drugs. He thought he couldn't handle the stress of life without it. But you know what he never gave himself a fair chance to try......he just took the easy way out...to me. So now he is starting over....day 2 and it sucks.
So you stay strong and find yourself as much support as possible and remember that you are much better without the drugs than with.
Tina
Glad to hear it went well, Britney, and good for you for having the courage to come clean with him. It's funny, we wouldn't think twice about telling our spouses if we had diseases like mononucleosis or diabetes, but with the disease of addiction..... another story. M.
Britney, i tol you it would be ok, dont you feel better, i did and would of, well i will be back in a few hours , my angel needs her mommy, so see ya leter!
your trully, Jasmine..
your trully, Jasmine..
Britney, congrats on telling your husband we are all very proud of the courage it took for you to do this and see that your posting quite a bit which is great the worst of it sould be over soon best wishes Ray
