I Want My Life Back!!!

Methamphetamines
1

I am so sick of yelling and being angry. No reason to scream and yell for what i did! Today i will let go of my anger! Oh not easy to say let alone do, but I also see that the anger is controlling me! I can't seem to get passed the anger and that leads me to back to the pipe! Wow never looked at it like that! I can come up with every reason to use and justify them all. This drug has complete control over my life and i allowed it! I gave it permission to control me. I did everything possible just for a reason to use. I will let go today! I have now power or control over my life or my drug! I have gotten rid of every thing that remids me of useing, my collection of pipes. tooters, scale, everything that i kept to use! Kept in case i needed again and all it did was enable me to use! Do not want to be doped all my life. I no longer want my drug to control me or my life. I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!
2
As I read your posts more I see you have more control than you realize ...


you are splashing about so hard trying not to drown in this sea called meth , you are about to cause your drowning , Relax, take deep breaths, stop struggling and lay back, float on your back , stay calm ..take control of your situation and you can tread water untill you are safe ( Did this analogy make any sense??)
3

I do see what you are saying! I am doing that!!! Relax is not a emotion i am used to very well! Everything in my life is frantic! I cause more problems trying to fix them than if i just slowed down and not stessed about everything so much. Yea.......relax???? ok think i will try that today! That is a big challange for me. My house is always spotless.. Even with 4 kids! Ok no thinking about it just do it!!!!!!!!
4
4 kids AND a spotless house???? You are definitely an overacheiver... your mission for today is to just enjoy it .......no cleaning , just playing with the kids ....give it a shot . you dont get kids taken away from you for having a few things out of place ....smile ,,
5

so much easier said than done! BUT...........did clean, but only "pick up" played games with kids and so looking 4ward to "movie night" !!! will let little ones stay up late tonite. miss their company!!
6
Movie night with the little ones ......now you are making me miss my little ones .....and they arent even little anymore!!!

Enjoy!!! hugs to you and yours,... AL
7


Ok well we never made it to "movie nite" we played on the bed and watched cartoons all eve!! I can't believe my own eyes! They seem so different now. It will take alot for them to fully understand what is really happening to our family. I so miss them!!!!!!!