My name is Elbert F. and I am a former heroin, cocaine, and crystal meth addict. I am coming up on 8 years of sobriety and am looking for a way to give back. I can offer perspectives from both the loved ones and the addict. I am willing to talk to anyone that has a concern about someone using or who is currently using and cannot stop. Addiction affects much more than just the addict that is using and I want to be here for anyone that has questions or needs help. Please reply with any questions or comments and I will give you a response, please keep in mind I am in recovery so my response will be truthful and up front. I am also trying to start a support line to not just the addict but the family as well. Addiction does not discriminate and will kill if we don't stop it! But if I can get and stay sober I know there is hope for the next person. My life was not worth living and I didn't care either way. But today I have a purpose and a reason to live and my wish is that anyone involved in addiction has the chance and opportunity that I had. Hope to hear from you soon, before it's too late.
Kudos to you..giving back is a very generous gesture on your part. I am currently going through issues with my 23 year old son who is addicted to heroine and I am concerned that he is going to die. This has been a constant roller coaster for me and the family since he was 16 .. he dropped out of school and now has a beautiful daughter and still his addiction, lies and stealing continues. I have been an enabler but this year decided no more
You should consider sending him to a program and telling him if he doesn't complete it you will no longer be in his life. The biggest battle we have on this side of someone getting sober is the parents enabling. Kudos to you for cutting off the well...I only found sobriety when my mom stopped and put me on the street. If I had a couch to crash on I would probably still be getting high.
What have you done since you went through their program?
Rehabs are necessary for some (few) folks to get their feet on the ground but after rehab the real work begins on a daily basis.
I don't have to go to AZ to find recovery, I can find it in numerous free AA/NA meetings in my home town and so can anyone who wants it.
I know many recovering addicts but no "former" ones.
People today put far too much value and hope in rehab centres.
Rehab centres are like Kindergarten in education. The bare beginning.
People have to know that and accept that it is a lifelong condition.
The front page of this website says "Recovery is a lifelong process." and "Peer group support systems like 12 step programs are critical for most."
Do you know why they mention 12 Step programs ? .. because they work !
Real recovery for the true addict/alcoholic is learned, maintained and practised over many days (years) in a proven recovery program. We are not cured. We have a "daily reprieve".
Good luck.
Bob
Rehabs are necessary for some (few) folks to get their feet on the ground but after rehab the real work begins on a daily basis.
I don't have to go to AZ to find recovery, I can find it in numerous free AA/NA meetings in my home town and so can anyone who wants it.
I know many recovering addicts but no "former" ones.
People today put far too much value and hope in rehab centres.
Rehab centres are like Kindergarten in education. The bare beginning.
People have to know that and accept that it is a lifelong condition.
The front page of this website says "Recovery is a lifelong process." and "Peer group support systems like 12 step programs are critical for most."
Do you know why they mention 12 Step programs ? .. because they work !
Real recovery for the true addict/alcoholic is learned, maintained and practised over many days (years) in a proven recovery program. We are not cured. We have a "daily reprieve".
Good luck.
Bob
I am also going through heroin addiction with my 24 yr old daughter. She has been to several rehabs & I am trying to get her to go away again, but at the moment she is against it. I will not let her live at home, and I try to see her once a week to feed her. I was a huge enabler and didn't know it, so I may still be enabling a little, but I am getting wiser every day. I do not give her money & I took away the car that I co-signed for. She can't pay it, so she doesn't get to use it. This is a process for both myself & my daughter. I just keep praying & trying to educate myself on this horrible disease.
It's like trying to comprehend "insanity".
A sane person can't make sense out of our thought processes.
Only another addict/alcoholic can "get through" to the hopeless drunk/user.
That is why the meetings are so important... but the newcomer has to be ready.
All the best to the families and friends of the addict alcoholic.
I am an addict alcoholic and can still today think "I' only was hurting myself"
Family and friends would call me a selfish, ignorant, denying idiot....
Today I know they would be right but it took me years to see, admit and accept that truth.
The addict/alcoholic is so damaged mentally/emotionally/spiritually that it takes us years (decades) to be able to begin to untangle our "mental knots" and allow our hearts to begin to open.
I often say at meetings that I came to AA/NA like Humpty Dumpty in a millions pieces.
The AA/NA oldtimers helped me find all (most) of my pieces and to begin to put them back together again to a degree of sober sanity and peace.
All the best.
Bob
A sane person can't make sense out of our thought processes.
Only another addict/alcoholic can "get through" to the hopeless drunk/user.
That is why the meetings are so important... but the newcomer has to be ready.
All the best to the families and friends of the addict alcoholic.
I am an addict alcoholic and can still today think "I' only was hurting myself"
Family and friends would call me a selfish, ignorant, denying idiot....
Today I know they would be right but it took me years to see, admit and accept that truth.
The addict/alcoholic is so damaged mentally/emotionally/spiritually that it takes us years (decades) to be able to begin to untangle our "mental knots" and allow our hearts to begin to open.
I often say at meetings that I came to AA/NA like Humpty Dumpty in a millions pieces.
The AA/NA oldtimers helped me find all (most) of my pieces and to begin to put them back together again to a degree of sober sanity and peace.
All the best.
Bob
Hey Papa Bear I am an active member of AA/NA/CMA and any other A you can name. It does take multiple things. My sobriety comes first in my life above everything else, the good place that I have found is wanting to stay sober more than wanting to use. It took me a few years sober, to figure that out. There is 3 sides to the triangle, and I do all 3....
As for the post about meeting your daughter once a week to feed her, stop feeding her, she will get to her bottom quicker when less people are there to help her or she knows where she can get her next meal. It is definately a hard place to get to but one that has to be found with family members...
As for the post about meeting your daughter once a week to feed her, stop feeding her, she will get to her bottom quicker when less people are there to help her or she knows where she can get her next meal. It is definately a hard place to get to but one that has to be found with family members...
Some people need a geographic change PAPA Bear and we do much more than a rehab center we also help addicts and alcoholics who are homeless and have no money. You should check us out on the web before casting judgement, it shouldn't matter what the process is if it helps....That is where I am at in my recovery today, not to be so close minded and open to all and new things. I am here to help, carrying the message, isn't that what step 12 teaches us...or me!
I checked it out and I'm not closed minded. (not as bad as I used to be....)
My recovery began in a 90 day in-patient recovery home in 1989.
Yes, some do need in-patient but commitment to AA/NA works for the vast majority.
Most addicts/alcoholics are looking for the easier, softer way to get relief and many businesses are out there selling them pipe-dreams. Many here are duped by them.
Caveat emptor is all I'm saying.
Bob R.
My recovery began in a 90 day in-patient recovery home in 1989.
Yes, some do need in-patient but commitment to AA/NA works for the vast majority.
Most addicts/alcoholics are looking for the easier, softer way to get relief and many businesses are out there selling them pipe-dreams. Many here are duped by them.
Caveat emptor is all I'm saying.
Bob R.
I have to agree with Papa Bear. I've met enough recovered/recovering addicts now to know that 12 step meetings work if the person is serious about recovery. Most of these sons and daughters talked about on here have no money or resources and have medicaid. I checked out that transitional living website and they do not accept medicaid. Free help is available to those who seek it.
I didn't realize that I am am enabler until this site . I kept thinking that if I should him what it's like to have clean clothes food simple things in life he might want change. BOY was I wrong He took it then pawn it
Lied about being sober all the time. Lied about money.
Munson currently is in jail ..And It's a relief to me and his brother ..
He lied even about doing the twelve steps in rehab.
I don't see my son ever wanting to change. So I had to. I had to disown him as my son and think of him as an addict homeless an master manipulator.
Addiction to anything is terrible but getting sober and living a normal life is a lifetime challenge.
And this includes being an enabler.
I just pray that it's never too late for him it's all I got.x
Lied about being sober all the time. Lied about money.
Munson currently is in jail ..And It's a relief to me and his brother ..
He lied even about doing the twelve steps in rehab.
I don't see my son ever wanting to change. So I had to. I had to disown him as my son and think of him as an addict homeless an master manipulator.
Addiction to anything is terrible but getting sober and living a normal life is a lifetime challenge.
And this includes being an enabler.
I just pray that it's never too late for him it's all I got.x
I am in the early stages of recovery. I am in Intense Outpatient Treatment for cocaine abuse. I recently (November) lost an amazing job and another in 2013 both for failing a UA. You think I would've learned the first time I got fired but I was selfish, very selfish. I used heavily the last three years and to keep what integrity I have left and the sake of my 2-year old son, I started IOP November 30, 2015. I am sickened and mad at myself for being so selfish and very remorseful. I wish I would've seen things earlier but now that I'm able to see and think somewhat more clearly now, it's a lifestyle I don't want anymore and I will be damed if I put myself in that position again. It's shameful, embarrassing and depressing! I stumbled across this site as I googled,"how to cope with losing a job for failing a UA." I am looking forward to using this forum to help me on the recovery road and of course I will start NA after I graduate on 1-25-15.
SD Abuser,
That's great that you have decided you want your life to be different. I wish you success in your recovery. Someone on here once posted that you have to chase your recovery as hard as you chased your drugs. I believe that. Good luck to you!
Michelle
That's great that you have decided you want your life to be different. I wish you success in your recovery. Someone on here once posted that you have to chase your recovery as hard as you chased your drugs. I believe that. Good luck to you!
Michelle
Thank you, Shell. I appreciate your wisdom and support. It was a hard lesson learned. I always worked and having a difficult time. I applied for three jobs, I can only pray they look beyond why I was terminated and see the change I am making. Some say, "one day at a time," I say, "one breath at a time." I'm finding comfort in this forum and reading all the struggles and success stories.
