Hello everyone. I haven't been here for about a week or so. I'm sure you can guess why I haven't been around. Yes, I slipped. I was able to get ahold of some percs, and I took them.
I am now out, although not going through withdrawls, but I did call on another Rx for vicoprofen to be refilled. It has beed 2 days since I called for the refill. I don't think the doc will refill it, but I am so upset that I called for it.
I can't stop my mind from thinking about the pills.
So I am sorry, I have really let everyone down, but mostly myself.
I feel like I am never going to be able to stay in recovery.
I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
-britney
Britney, there you are!!, look your back thats all that matters, look the truth is i use to slip all the time, all the time i tell you, your not alone, trust me.i use to feel the same way as you are now.. please do not beat yourself up, they say that you are your worst critic and it is true! so how are you doing today? whats going on?? so glad to see ya!
Oh Brit,
I am so sorry that you got a hold of those damn pills and took then. You were off to a good start....and doing so well. You aren't the only one who has been having a bad time. If you can read through some of the posts you are not alone.
If the doc calls please tell him that you decided you don't need the re-fill.
Take care........
Tina
I am so sorry that you got a hold of those damn pills and took then. You were off to a good start....and doing so well. You aren't the only one who has been having a bad time. If you can read through some of the posts you are not alone.
If the doc calls please tell him that you decided you don't need the re-fill.
Take care........
Tina
Brit, r u still her, i hope so, post if u r...
mistyeyes - you changed your picture!!! I love it.
Jas - I am doing okay. I was so afraid I would have withdraws. But I guess 4 days isn't very long. The only thing going on right now, is in my head. I just want them sooooo bad.
I feel like such a fool. I was on this site, telling people how I was recovering so well. And oops.
It took me a while to log on again. I am so embaressed.
Anyway, now I am thinking about X-mas, and wondering again, how I will manage to get through it.
-britney
Jas - I am doing okay. I was so afraid I would have withdraws. But I guess 4 days isn't very long. The only thing going on right now, is in my head. I just want them sooooo bad.
I feel like such a fool. I was on this site, telling people how I was recovering so well. And oops.
It took me a while to log on again. I am so embaressed.
Anyway, now I am thinking about X-mas, and wondering again, how I will manage to get through it.
-britney
Britney-
Dont be so hard on yourself - I've relapsed alot of times but I think I finally got it this time!!!! You just have to get back up and try again. Are you sure you are ready to quit - you said you called in a refill for vicuprophen? I dont think that's a good idea - I know its hard, believe me, but its just prolonging the inevitible. You have to make a plan and stick to it. Belieive me, I think it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but we have to choose - do we want to live or do we want to die - because thats what eventually will happen if you keep abusing pain killers - your liver will shut down, kidney, etc. I was so lucky when I got my bloodwork back and found out that my liver enzymes were only slightly elevated - I had figured my liver would be toast by now. But the dr. told me it wouldnt take long if I continued like I was. So its a simple choice - to live or to die? I know it sounds scary, but it is so true. Stay strong, girl.
Love,
Marie
Dont be so hard on yourself - I've relapsed alot of times but I think I finally got it this time!!!! You just have to get back up and try again. Are you sure you are ready to quit - you said you called in a refill for vicuprophen? I dont think that's a good idea - I know its hard, believe me, but its just prolonging the inevitible. You have to make a plan and stick to it. Belieive me, I think it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but we have to choose - do we want to live or do we want to die - because thats what eventually will happen if you keep abusing pain killers - your liver will shut down, kidney, etc. I was so lucky when I got my bloodwork back and found out that my liver enzymes were only slightly elevated - I had figured my liver would be toast by now. But the dr. told me it wouldnt take long if I continued like I was. So its a simple choice - to live or to die? I know it sounds scary, but it is so true. Stay strong, girl.
Love,
Marie
AWW,Britney,
I am sorry to hear that!! I was kinds thinking that was the reason we haven't heard from you. I know you are being hard on yourself about it. We ALL have been known to slip so there is only one thing to do"Pick yourself up" and try again. Life goes on. It sucks but it happens. You are here again and that's all that matters..Admitting you have a problem and you made a mistake is a step in the right direction. Now just push yourself not to get the refill on the Vico's they will just bring you down in the long run and you will start the whole process of withdrawling all over again. I am here for you and hoping everything works out.... Rachel
I am sorry to hear that!! I was kinds thinking that was the reason we haven't heard from you. I know you are being hard on yourself about it. We ALL have been known to slip so there is only one thing to do"Pick yourself up" and try again. Life goes on. It sucks but it happens. You are here again and that's all that matters..Admitting you have a problem and you made a mistake is a step in the right direction. Now just push yourself not to get the refill on the Vico's they will just bring you down in the long run and you will start the whole process of withdrawling all over again. I am here for you and hoping everything works out.... Rachel
Trust in you Brit, and trust in this board and your family and friends..look sweetie i am on pain pills again for pain that i am having and i am not holding them but i must admit there are times when i just wanna feel good, but i have to stop and think is it worth it and if they were here i would pop 7-8, but that is exzactly (sp) why thery are not here!! i know my self to well and so does the person who has them... thank god! dont beat yourself arounf your a addict so am I this is our addict minds working, ahhhhh.... i hate it but that is our disease always making us want it at any price!, i am here for you and i have some pictures of my kids if you want me to e-mail them to ya, just post your address and i will send them to you maybe that will cheer you up,kids always made me happy!!!!
You will be fine...you have to take each day as it comes and not worry about tomorrow.....Don't get ahead of yourself with worry of things and days that are not here yet. Keep on fighting and don't give up on yourself........
Will talk to you tomorrow.....bed is calling....
Hugs,
Tina
Will talk to you tomorrow.....bed is calling....
Hugs,
Tina
I will take anything that might cheer me up right now!
This is sooo sad. I was having a hard time at home with my kids and my husband. I thought I was going to lose it. So I came to work. Yes, I am at work now. It is 9:00pm, and I am back at work.
It's funny though. I thought I was going to go crazy, so I made the decision to take myself out of the situation, and go somewhere safe. (no pills)
Anyway, my email is emack17@aol.com
Thanks for all the support. I really need it now.
-britney
This is sooo sad. I was having a hard time at home with my kids and my husband. I thought I was going to lose it. So I came to work. Yes, I am at work now. It is 9:00pm, and I am back at work.
It's funny though. I thought I was going to go crazy, so I made the decision to take myself out of the situation, and go somewhere safe. (no pills)
Anyway, my email is emack17@aol.com
Thanks for all the support. I really need it now.
-britney
I am gonna do it now, hang on..
Britney, I relapsed twice before I quit this time for good. I dont know what makes us go back after the withdrawal hell we go through, but we all seem to do it. You have to get your mind made up when your really ready to quit and follow through. I know this time, for me its for good because the withdrawals get worse and worse.
You could probably get away without severe withdrawals this time because of the short term use.
I hope you quit, its up to you, Im rooting for you.
Good luck
JohnDee
You could probably get away without severe withdrawals this time because of the short term use.
I hope you quit, its up to you, Im rooting for you.
Good luck
JohnDee
Glad to hear you took yourself away from the pills. It is good when you can stay focused on other things like working,cleaning etc.. I will send you some pictures to of me and my kids. These are old pic's but you'll get the idea. Have you taken your baby to get pictures with santa? I took my 14,6 and 8 month old and took tons with Santa..My 8 month old Lindsay just kept looking up at santa like who the hell are you?lol it was cute,she had on a santa outfit and looked so pretty. I have a digital camera but can't figure out how to download these new pic's on my computer. Anyway,hold your head up Brit, you can start again when you put your mind to it.... Take care and if you need to talk I am here for you!
Hey Mitzi,
What's up? Do you have any new pic's or are these the ones you already sent me? How is your day go? Have you been christams shopping? Me not really like I need to be. Tomorrow is 10 days til Christmas, I can't believe it. Now I am going to start freaking out and spending money money money that I wish I had to spend,lol........ Rae
Hey Mitzi,
What's up? Do you have any new pic's or are these the ones you already sent me? How is your day go? Have you been christams shopping? Me not really like I need to be. Tomorrow is 10 days til Christmas, I can't believe it. Now I am going to start freaking out and spending money money money that I wish I had to spend,lol........ Rae
Hey Rae, no they are the same, i will take some new ones andmail those to ya when i get them, and no i have done no shopping, i am soooo bad, hehe, btw where are those pictures i asked from you for me, humm, hehe, take care sweetie..
I sent them to ya.. You saw me and my kids didn't you? I don't have resent ones although I have a new camera I can't figure out how to download them yet.. When I do I will send them... Man it is frezzing here tonight in Florida. It is 44 degrees out right now and a freeze WARNING is out for Tampa. I love it when it gets cold around Christmas and I can bust out the winter clothes and leather jackets.. Don't get to do that very often around here. Rae
I have decided to stop counting days. I did that the first time, and it felt great to say day 14!
But on day 15 when I took those first 2 pills, it made me sick to think about "day 15".
If it works for the rest of you, great. But for me, I think I will just view it as today I will make it. Instead of thinking about how many days I have gone without. It almost made me feel like since I have had so many days without, I deserved a day with????
So no more counting.
Today I have not used.
-britney
But on day 15 when I took those first 2 pills, it made me sick to think about "day 15".
If it works for the rest of you, great. But for me, I think I will just view it as today I will make it. Instead of thinking about how many days I have gone without. It almost made me feel like since I have had so many days without, I deserved a day with????
So no more counting.
Today I have not used.
-britney
Yeah, I know what you mean about counting days although I have done it many days. It is true when you are counting it is almost like you are counting until you get to a good # and then you can justify taking a pill cause you've done so good. So I see what you mean. Hang in there-smile. I am send ing you some pictures. Rachel
NO i nevegot any pictures Rae, re send them please!!!! jasmine49@comcast.net..
This is so hard, and I know I should call the pharmacy right now, and tell them I don't need the refill, but I don't think I can. It's almost like I am making a deal with God - or someone. I am saying that if the Rx is refilled, then I will take them and be happy, then that will be it. And if it dosen't get filled, then it wasn't meant to be???? Why do I do this to myself???
-britney
-britney
Britney,
I don't know why you are doing this to yourself. I don't know why I do it to myself. Everyone has felt the way you feel. There is nothing wrong with your mind other than the fact that you are an addict and you think like one.. It is a cycle that seems never-ending isn't it? I hate it. Keep us posted.Did you get the pic's I e-mailed you? Let me know,Rae(Rachel)
I don't know why you are doing this to yourself. I don't know why I do it to myself. Everyone has felt the way you feel. There is nothing wrong with your mind other than the fact that you are an addict and you think like one.. It is a cycle that seems never-ending isn't it? I hate it. Keep us posted.Did you get the pic's I e-mailed you? Let me know,Rae(Rachel)
