So today I had gone to Indiana, I live in Illinois, to have a 2 hour vist w/ my 19mo son, who is currently in foster care. Anyways, my friend who I live with brought me there cuz I don't own a car, so to make this a short story she dropped me off and went to the e.r. for some vic's, witch that's my doc, that didn't really bother me, but damm did she really have to pop them in front of me? For the first time in 82 days of clean time I'm having such a hard time, please help, the cravings are so bad right now. Sara
sarapiontek@yahoo.com
sara
the best christmas gift that you can give your son is a sober mom.
congratulations for working on his gift these last 82 days. i know that it's taken a great deal of effort - don't allow yourself to become distracted now.
i have learned that i have very little power over the actions of others. i do have a considerable power when it comes to the way that i react, however.
be grateful that you're not the one that has to hit er's for drugs anymore. allow for the fact that your room mate envies you for your 82 days.
it's all about perspective.
*sdr*
the best christmas gift that you can give your son is a sober mom.
congratulations for working on his gift these last 82 days. i know that it's taken a great deal of effort - don't allow yourself to become distracted now.
i have learned that i have very little power over the actions of others. i do have a considerable power when it comes to the way that i react, however.
be grateful that you're not the one that has to hit er's for drugs anymore. allow for the fact that your room mate envies you for your 82 days.
it's all about perspective.
*sdr*
hey hun I can total understand...I have a friend that does the same, I have been having a really hard time since my hun is working away from home for the last week, may not be home till Tuesday. ,,I have been getting bored and lonely without him ao I been trying to keep buzy to keep mind going, but heck its so hard....hang tough
Traci
Traci
Thanks you guys so much, I miss him so bad but I will not use, because I know that one is to many and a million is not enough. Damm it sucks so bad when the cravings come, I'll read my N.A. book tonight to remind me of how bad it sucks to use, God Bless you all, Sara
Just wanted to say hang in there tonight, I am gonna go and watch tv, and chill for the night..Take care
Dear Sara,
First off congratulations for keeping clear and sober for so long.!!!!!!!
These bumps in the road are like a surprise pop test...
And guess what? You passed.
You didnt ask for any, you didnt use.
Acknowledge the fact it made you crave some,
The craving will pass and you will be stronger for having gone through it.
It is unrealistic to think we can live in a world where our DOC doesnt exsist.
It does and we will.
But is "your friend" aware of your history??????
Im sorry, but that was insensitive of her to say the least.
be sure to tell her of the fact that her using right under your nose triggered you....brought you pain and carving....even ASKING you to drive her to ER
was insensitive...was it an EMERGENCY????
i dont know what the circumstances are that has caused you to be seperated from your son, only know that would be extremely painful especially at Christmas.
To stay on your path, stay clean and clear minded can only aid you in any future relationship with your son.
You are showing a good example as well, showing him that People make mistakes, but that we can learn from them and become a better person, better friend, and better Mommy.
Know that tomorrow morning you will feel better, that your emotions will get better and your craving pass.
be good to yourself right now..go take a hot bubble bath...light a candle and play some of your favourite "feel-good" music.
And avoid that friend if she can not be more sensitive to your situation. A true friend would not have done that to you.
Big tight hugs,
Ali
First off congratulations for keeping clear and sober for so long.!!!!!!!
These bumps in the road are like a surprise pop test...
And guess what? You passed.
You didnt ask for any, you didnt use.
Acknowledge the fact it made you crave some,
The craving will pass and you will be stronger for having gone through it.
It is unrealistic to think we can live in a world where our DOC doesnt exsist.
It does and we will.
But is "your friend" aware of your history??????
Im sorry, but that was insensitive of her to say the least.
be sure to tell her of the fact that her using right under your nose triggered you....brought you pain and carving....even ASKING you to drive her to ER
was insensitive...was it an EMERGENCY????
i dont know what the circumstances are that has caused you to be seperated from your son, only know that would be extremely painful especially at Christmas.
To stay on your path, stay clean and clear minded can only aid you in any future relationship with your son.
You are showing a good example as well, showing him that People make mistakes, but that we can learn from them and become a better person, better friend, and better Mommy.
Know that tomorrow morning you will feel better, that your emotions will get better and your craving pass.
be good to yourself right now..go take a hot bubble bath...light a candle and play some of your favourite "feel-good" music.
And avoid that friend if she can not be more sensitive to your situation. A true friend would not have done that to you.
Big tight hugs,
Ali
way to go Sara
Alicap, my friend drove me to Indiana, I don't have a car, I would have never drove her to the e.r. thanks for the advise, I had let her know that it did brother me and her words were " I thought this would upset you" I live w/ her, I have nowhere else to go until I get into a half-way house. My son was taking away for a b.s. sitution, to make a long story short, his father lives in Indiana and had him for the weekend, I live in Illinois, he was supposed to return Jason to me on Monday but never did so after work on a Monday I took off to IN to pick him up, I deceied to stay the night to avoid driving late at night w/o a driving linsese, sorry can't spell for s***, anyways I woke up in the morning to leave to find someone had popped all of my tires on my car along w/ the winshelds, I was stuck there and very sick cuz at the time I was on methodone, me and the ex started fighting and the police were called they said I had no choice but to leave my son with his grandmother or call D.C.F.S for my son, it turned out they called D.C.F.S for them to take my son, so I run w/ him and got very far anyways there is no reason why he was taken away, yes I was on methadone but was no longer using, now I'm off of it to try and have him returned to me
And oh yes my friend is very aware of my past
Dear sara,
Its so sad. im sad for your situation. Im also amazed how many stories Ive heard of spouses USING the fact that their EX is "using" methadone as an excuse to finger them a bad parent...From what i know about methadone programs, they are stablished to HELP people come off of heroin, to help them move forward and make POSITIVE changes in their lives........
Makes me upset...
Labels....ugh..
Do you have a good lawyer or legal aid????? To help get your son back?
Do you have any family you can stay with????
Where is your ex in this? Why does he not have your son either?
Im not asking to be nosy luv, just wanting to help you and offer some solid suggestions....
Hugs to just hang on,
things will get better
Ali
Its so sad. im sad for your situation. Im also amazed how many stories Ive heard of spouses USING the fact that their EX is "using" methadone as an excuse to finger them a bad parent...From what i know about methadone programs, they are stablished to HELP people come off of heroin, to help them move forward and make POSITIVE changes in their lives........
Makes me upset...
Labels....ugh..
Do you have a good lawyer or legal aid????? To help get your son back?
Do you have any family you can stay with????
Where is your ex in this? Why does he not have your son either?
Im not asking to be nosy luv, just wanting to help you and offer some solid suggestions....
Hugs to just hang on,
things will get better
Ali
Hi Sara things might seem bad now for you but they do get better in time. Being in recovery allows you to grow into that person you dont know yet YOU take care jaxx
Alicap, my ex is also an addict, I'm not sure if he's still using but I do not speak with him anymore. When we first met I had fallen in love w/ him, he used pills but I did not. But soon after being w/ him he became abuseive, in both ways, witch I became depressed and turned to drugs for a way out. I could not leave cuz "I was in love" soon I started using and we had gotton into leagl problems it had taken me 3 and 1/2 years to finely let go, not so much to let him go but the pills cuz I knew if I was not w/ him I wouldn't beable to use, so my son will not be returned to me until I can show everyone that I'm capable of being drug free, I belive I will have him back by the summer
Sara
Are you working with a social worker or anbody to do that??
I hope you have someone that is leading you through the steps to get him back...the rest is up to you to get clean...and you can do this!!!
Look how far youve come already!!!!!!!
Do it for yourself AND your son. You are BOTH so worth it!!!!
I would like to recommend a book that you can get from your local librabry.
Its called " Men who hate women and the women who love them"
Please get it and read it.
Your ex has severely damnaged your self esteem. I was once in an abusive relationship to. and being spoke to that way or having the man that you lve raise his hand to you changes who you are..
But you can come back...stronger than ever for having survived it.
The book will help you put certain elements of your relationship with him in the past.....help you to move on...
The book really helped me..
Im rroting for you Girl!! You can do it!!!!
Hugs
ALi
Are you working with a social worker or anbody to do that??
I hope you have someone that is leading you through the steps to get him back...the rest is up to you to get clean...and you can do this!!!
Look how far youve come already!!!!!!!
Do it for yourself AND your son. You are BOTH so worth it!!!!
I would like to recommend a book that you can get from your local librabry.
Its called " Men who hate women and the women who love them"
Please get it and read it.
Your ex has severely damnaged your self esteem. I was once in an abusive relationship to. and being spoke to that way or having the man that you lve raise his hand to you changes who you are..
But you can come back...stronger than ever for having survived it.
The book will help you put certain elements of your relationship with him in the past.....help you to move on...
The book really helped me..
Im rroting for you Girl!! You can do it!!!!
Hugs
ALi
