So, I see anger posts...how to deal with anger... how do i deal with this anger i have now , huh?
I just went soo far to meet this guy for a concept that he wanted to start doing business with us. I got all dressed up, had my leather binder with my "brainstorms" on hand.
Had already talked to this guy once on the phone and he was a d***.
So, I get there... and he keeps me waiting forever and a frickin' day... no biggie, right??
He comes in and asks me where my boss is. . . I told him I was in charge of this project, and that my boss is busy. He put me in charge of this project, wanted me to handle it from start to finish.
Of course my boss would do the majority of the actual "construction" of this guys' project. but my job was to get all bases down.
He tells me he doesn't want to talk with me... he wants to reschedule. He was like "i didn't know it was just going to be you and i don't want to waste my time repeating myself multiple times to get this thing accomplished...
<jaw drops>
i reassured him he wouldn't.. that this is my job, i am the project manger hence "I MANAGE THE PROJECTS"... ALLLLLLL PROJECTS.
I told him if he didn't want to work with us then he can find someone else. He said I have an attitude. HA!
I should have just got up and walked out.
He got my boss' number that i gladly gave him. My boss is out of the office right now, at the doctor's so i come in to work and there is already a frickin' message from this jackass saying that he doesn't want to deal with me whatsoever and if he still wants to do the job it's gonna have to be on a personal basis. and also... if the young lady i talked to is representing your business, i would be careful if i were you!!!
Holy f*** s***,
I called my boss and he just said screw em'., he's got a little d*** and i'll talk to him and if he has a problem with you then screw him.
I was very excited about this, I couldn't wait to do a whole project from start to finish and I was beyond prepared for this.
this guy is obviously a sexist a******.
So i'm trying to calm down but can't....
f***!@!!!
stac
You should email the D--k your little dancing pickle you have on here....that
would really get his knickers in a twist. What a jerk!!! Good on your boss for sticking up for you. I'd be furious too. Hope your boss tells him to take a hike.
would really get his knickers in a twist. What a jerk!!! Good on your boss for sticking up for you. I'd be furious too. Hope your boss tells him to take a hike.
| QUOTE |
| I called my boss and he just said screw em'., he's got a little d*** and i'll talk to him and if he has a problem with you then screw him. |
You can't beat support like that Stacey.Your boss sounds like he's 100% behind you.
Don't give the dude one more minute of space.
Stacey,
I would be livid, too. He wasted your time and was dismissive of your skills. But he's a f***wit, what do you care what he thinks?
I'm glad your boss supported you. Better you found out what this guy was like before you contracted to work with him. What a nightmare that would have been.
Deep breath. If you behaved professionally despite that kind of provocation, then you should be proud of yourself. There will be other exciting projects in your future -- clearly your boss appreciates having you on his team -- and far better clients to work with as well. I know you're disappointed. Let it go.
Love,
Gina
I would be livid, too. He wasted your time and was dismissive of your skills. But he's a f***wit, what do you care what he thinks?
I'm glad your boss supported you. Better you found out what this guy was like before you contracted to work with him. What a nightmare that would have been.
Deep breath. If you behaved professionally despite that kind of provocation, then you should be proud of yourself. There will be other exciting projects in your future -- clearly your boss appreciates having you on his team -- and far better clients to work with as well. I know you're disappointed. Let it go.
Love,
Gina
Thanks.
I'll try and let it go.
I really couldn't have a better boss. He told me to never ever take s*** from anyone, especially a "man".
That kind of thing steams him like nothing else.
I'm trying and concentrating on other jobs that need completion.
If my boss wants to sign him and work with him, that's fine. I really didn't want to lose a job. But my own boss said "It's not like we don't have other projects that are more important, there will be plenty more.
I just hate when men think they're GOD and can treat whomever however they see fit.
I guess he was upset that I wasn't submissive like most people must be.
Ok, Letting it go now... really....
Stac
I'll try and let it go.
I really couldn't have a better boss. He told me to never ever take s*** from anyone, especially a "man".
That kind of thing steams him like nothing else.
I'm trying and concentrating on other jobs that need completion.
If my boss wants to sign him and work with him, that's fine. I really didn't want to lose a job. But my own boss said "It's not like we don't have other projects that are more important, there will be plenty more.
I just hate when men think they're GOD and can treat whomever however they see fit.
I guess he was upset that I wasn't submissive like most people must be.
Ok, Letting it go now... really....
Stac
| QUOTE |
| I guess he was upset that I wasn't submissive like most people must be. |
That's it in a nutshell.Unfortunately,a lot of men in business view women like that.Your boss sounds great.
In my business I deal a lot with "entitlement" issues.Some very wealthy people just think they have the god given right to treat the rest of the world as servants.Not all of them are like this but I get my fair share.
As long as everyone is respectful,I will bend over backwards to do a good job for you.If you cross that line and start trying to abuse me,I will call you out on it.I usually get dismissed and replaced.That's cool.I don't leave with a fat wallet but my dignity is always in place.
Bad behavior is bad behavior.
I just talked to my husband and he said that the guy probably took one look at me and had no intentions whatsoever of talking to me, because I am so young... I'm 23, but look younger.
As soon as he sat down I introduced myself again and immediately started talking business. didn't stutter... didn't seem un-confidant... actually i was very confidant, and qualified...but that didn't matter.
He didn't give me 3 min.
So I said thanks so much for having me drive all the way out here for nothing, and on the voicemail he said i was the most unproffesional, rude person he has ever come across in all his year's of business. HA! I never raised my voice, said a bad word,...nothing.
I'm sorry, i just can't stop rambling like this, it's just i never have been so belittled ever right when he opens his mouth. It made me feel i was Not good enough, even though I know I am. for that little bit when it started, i felt small.
Thanks tim, gina, everyone...
stac
As soon as he sat down I introduced myself again and immediately started talking business. didn't stutter... didn't seem un-confidant... actually i was very confidant, and qualified...but that didn't matter.
He didn't give me 3 min.
So I said thanks so much for having me drive all the way out here for nothing, and on the voicemail he said i was the most unproffesional, rude person he has ever come across in all his year's of business. HA! I never raised my voice, said a bad word,...nothing.
I'm sorry, i just can't stop rambling like this, it's just i never have been so belittled ever right when he opens his mouth. It made me feel i was Not good enough, even though I know I am. for that little bit when it started, i felt small.
Thanks tim, gina, everyone...
stac
It's juust business Stacey. Forget it.
| QUOTE |
| for that little bit when it started, i felt small. |
...........and that's exactly how he wanted you to feel......
The best way to piss this guy off to no end is to completely ignore him.
Off to the next account.He's the one that lost out because you obviously could have supplied him with a superior product.Let some gullible sycophant give him a second rate contract............he will be the one that loses sleep.
Put on a big smile and move on to the next one.
Take it from an older woman who has been there many times...especially in the entertainment businesss where sexism still runs amuck...ALWAYS....no matter how pissed you are...rise above the bad behavior of others. They want to control and push your buttons so don't give in. Look serene if it kills you...once I ran into the ladies room to cry and scream. You will come out lookiing like a winner, and he, a shmuck(did I just say schmuck?) I sympathize with you because there are a lot of incompetent people and downright a**holes in this world. You are still young and full of piss and vinegar. Your spirit is great...just remember...Anger is destructive to you. Another saying you can "steal" from me. Harboring anger and resentment is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to die"....this has been of great help to me.Love, S P.S. I have a daughter(28) who is VERY high strung and has a bad temper. She manages the restaurant for Neiman Marcus and the clientele is "difficult" to say the least. I offer her this same advice. Always appear professional...under the worst pressure. Not only will the offending person feel like an a**...but in the long run you will score points with your boss..Love you kid.................S
he's a jerk..............
who cares .........
stupid jerk...............
(((((((((((stace))))))))))
you have a good boss...............
thumper
who cares .........
stupid jerk...............
(((((((((((stace))))))))))
you have a good boss...............
thumper
You will come out lookiing like a winner, and he, a shmuck(did I just say schmuck?)
Twice actually, Sharonn, but that's okay because the guy who dissed our Stacey was a really big schmuck (OMG, did I say that?)
LOLOLOL
Love you wench,
Gina
YGM
Twice actually, Sharonn, but that's okay because the guy who dissed our Stacey was a really big schmuck (OMG, did I say that?)
LOLOLOL
Love you wench,
Gina
YGM
Stacey, get used to it. When I started the business Im Im in now I was in my 20's and looked even younger. I got treated like that often but learned to deal with it, its part of business, dont let it get to you, handle it with a smile on your face.
Since Im a male I was able to grow a beard and started wearing a tie every day. The first day with my new look I drove to the toll booth and the guy asked me if I wanted a reciept. I had driven through the toll booth many times and was never asked if i wanted a reciept til then.
I did notice people took me more seriously with my "older look", now I dont have to work too hard to achieve the "older look" lol.
Since Im a male I was able to grow a beard and started wearing a tie every day. The first day with my new look I drove to the toll booth and the guy asked me if I wanted a reciept. I had driven through the toll booth many times and was never asked if i wanted a reciept til then.
I did notice people took me more seriously with my "older look", now I dont have to work too hard to achieve the "older look" lol.
Aww Stac, I'm sorry. The wad sounds like a real asswipe. Don't let him rent anymore space in your head, you have your boss's support and thats all that counts. I'm sure you were more than prepared to handle business with this jackass, but for some reason there are men out there who really think women can't do a good job.
When I first got into biomedical research, I was a manager in a large primate facility. Every single one of my employees were men over the age of 35, and at that time I was only 23. They gave me one hell of a hard time. So I fired one of them, did wonders for morale. LOL
Michelle
When I first got into biomedical research, I was a manager in a large primate facility. Every single one of my employees were men over the age of 35, and at that time I was only 23. They gave me one hell of a hard time. So I fired one of them, did wonders for morale. LOL
Michelle
So I fired one of them, did wonders for morale.
You go, girl. I bow to you.
Respect,
Gina
You go, girl. I bow to you.
Respect,
Gina
Stace...I have dealt with this my entire career! That is not an exaggeration...many many men...in business have this perceived notion that women are still the 2nd class citizen and will sometimes treat them like that either passively aggressively or direct and up front...like that schmuck that you met with this morning.
I know it hard and it hurts..but try not to take it personally..this is HIS problem and his life I can imagine is LONG and TORTUROUS!
You behaved professional and you have an employer that will empower you to get to the next level...don't loose your cool and meet him in the basement! That is what he wants to justify his behaviour.
I can tell you...even now...a mother of 20 something kids and a grandmother for FFFF sakes...I still get this..not at all on the same level because I have honed my skills very carefully over the years. I too look years younger than I am and will perhaps be fighting for equality in business forever! But where I really blow then away is with my sheer intelligence and professionalism...and you will too!!!
What a future you have ahead of you...wow! Hard work and perseverance pays off in spades.....I am just in the process of landing my dream job. I will be receiving an offer within the next few days...I have a conference call with a consulting firm in California tomorrow and then it is coming. This alone has taken me through many steps where I thought I might loose it a few times. This took me years to get but its so close I can taste it...I wasn't going to say anything until I had the offer in my hands..but reading your email...I thought I should share it.
I will be Sales Manager of a team of 5 right now...6 next week..for the entire Hawaiian Islands...its a publishing company and I will be instrumental in bringing this Magazine and 3 others to the next level. The financial opportunity alone is mind boggling....but more so is the sense of accomplishing something that counts and mentoring people to become all that they want!!!
So you see....hang in there and keep doing all the right things....be real and true to yourself...and you will be a rock star!!
You go get em girl...and thank your gods that your boss is a one in a million.
I know it hard and it hurts..but try not to take it personally..this is HIS problem and his life I can imagine is LONG and TORTUROUS!
You behaved professional and you have an employer that will empower you to get to the next level...don't loose your cool and meet him in the basement! That is what he wants to justify his behaviour.
I can tell you...even now...a mother of 20 something kids and a grandmother for FFFF sakes...I still get this..not at all on the same level because I have honed my skills very carefully over the years. I too look years younger than I am and will perhaps be fighting for equality in business forever! But where I really blow then away is with my sheer intelligence and professionalism...and you will too!!!
What a future you have ahead of you...wow! Hard work and perseverance pays off in spades.....I am just in the process of landing my dream job. I will be receiving an offer within the next few days...I have a conference call with a consulting firm in California tomorrow and then it is coming. This alone has taken me through many steps where I thought I might loose it a few times. This took me years to get but its so close I can taste it...I wasn't going to say anything until I had the offer in my hands..but reading your email...I thought I should share it.
I will be Sales Manager of a team of 5 right now...6 next week..for the entire Hawaiian Islands...its a publishing company and I will be instrumental in bringing this Magazine and 3 others to the next level. The financial opportunity alone is mind boggling....but more so is the sense of accomplishing something that counts and mentoring people to become all that they want!!!
So you see....hang in there and keep doing all the right things....be real and true to yourself...and you will be a rock star!!
You go get em girl...and thank your gods that your boss is a one in a million.
Gina
I have a big skull and crossbone sticker on my office door that says:
The beatings will continue until morale improves. LOL They all love me now.
Michelle
I have a big skull and crossbone sticker on my office door that says:
The beatings will continue until morale improves. LOL They all love me now.
Michelle
I would say it probably had more to do with Staceys age rather than gender. No offense intended Stace.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Danny I would say both...however....its really nothing to do with her...its HIM
Kee- I certainly agree. Pretty short sighted.
