I went through rehab 1 and a half years ago for a nasty oxycontin addiction and have been clean until I was in the hospital a few weeks ago for asthma and they gave me cough medicine with hydrocodone in it. I know that I shouldn't have taken it, but heck I'm an addict no matter how long I've been clean. I just could not turn it down. I am also 24 weeks pregnant and do not want to do anything to harm my baby. I have not used anything else since leaving the hospital, but I have been thinking about it a lot. If not for the baby, I probably would be using now. I came across this site today and would just like to have some people to talk to who understand what I am going through. I was addicted for 5 years before getting help. I started taking them for back pain. I worked for a pain management doctor who would give me pretty much anything I wanted as long as I showed up for work on time. He kept me in good supply for 5 years. He would keep increasing my dose as my addiction got worse. Through a family intervention, I ended up in rehab which is the best thing I have ever done. I didn't realize at the time, but one of the reasons I was using was because when I was using, I wasn't anxious or depressed. Thank goodness for Wellbutrin.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, and I am really glad I found this site.
Lauree
Welcome to this forum Lauree! It's a great place to get advice and support. Lots of good, selfless and caring folks visit here. Anyway, if you're having a tough time right now have you considered NA/AA? It's the foundation of my recovery program, along with this forum, a counselor, and the right AD's. Take care; Jim
I really do wish you the best... I just had over two months clean and started taking pain pills again after dental surgery. I really thought I could take them as prescribed and I ended up in the same situation I was in before. I hate that we will never be 100% cured from this....
Jim, whats an AD?
Oh wait..Anti-depressant-- agree 100%
Oh wait..Anti-depressant-- agree 100%
Hi. Welcome to the boards...you did the right thing by reaching out. The farther away you get from that hydro, the easier it will be. You just awoke the monkey, pulled him from the closet to your back again.
I would suggest some meetings....
And congrats on the pregnancy.
After the pregnancy, I would suggest some support too.....just talking from experience....
Kerry
I would suggest some meetings....
And congrats on the pregnancy.
After the pregnancy, I would suggest some support too.....just talking from experience....
Kerry
I told my husband last night "If I could just get pregnant, then I would be off of these drugs for good".... I would NEVER harm a baby like that, NEVER. When I was pregnant with my 3 year old, I didn't even drink soft drinks or take aspirin.
But my husband is right... he said that I need to deal with all of this and get better before I get pregnant again, especially since we are having marriage problems. I have to have c-sections which means plenty of percocet and vicodin and he's worried I'll just go right back to the same place I'm in now.
But my husband is right... he said that I need to deal with all of this and get better before I get pregnant again, especially since we are having marriage problems. I have to have c-sections which means plenty of percocet and vicodin and he's worried I'll just go right back to the same place I'm in now.
Hi Lauree, welcome to the site. The mental addiction is the most insidious thing for me as well.....That part of my brain that thinks one scrip won't hurt, especially if it's being offered for a legitimate ailment. I've found out the hard way that I can not trust myself to dispense ANY narcotic pain med (incl. cough syrup) -- it it's really necessary for me to take the pain med b/c of pain, I've got to give it to someone else (in my case, my wife) to dispense as prescribed. Even then, it's a shaky time for me. I'm glad your cough syrup didn't lead to more. I'm sure you're familiar with the rooms of NA/AA -- are you still going? It is always a good place for me to check myself . . . and tell on my disease. M.
Thanks for the response everyone. I had pretty much stopped going to meetings. I went to an AA meeting last night and will be going again tonight with a friend. I know how important the meetings are, but I actually thought that I didn't need them. Isn't it amazing how even though I know what I should do to stay in recovery, my brain is always telling me that I don't need the meetings or that I can handle the cough medicine. Lately it has been a constant struggle between the rational part of my brain and the addiction. I felt better after the meeting last night, and I am really glad that I found this site. I have been on Wellbutrin for about a year. It really has helped me tremendously. I think I tried about 5 others before finding one that worked.
thanks everyone!
Lauree
thanks everyone!
Lauree
