>bipolar disorder
Jamv - everything you said made sense until then. Here is my diagnosis: PotHEAD. and I am going to leave it at that. I don't need some pointy head who needs a job to write all kinds of things down on a paper. I don't want any disorders and I'm not getting hooked on any more drugs, except my dear weed.
Actually I was in therapy with an addiction counselor last time around and it was helpful. Last time I got straight it was because I thought I was in trouble with the law. I think I was a bit paranoid. So I went to some counselor a month in and said "give me shelter". He was a nice, professional, understanding man. Trouble was, after about 9 mo.'s we were at 1x/mo and just sitting around chattin with this nice guy, me, and he says, okay, we're done. I came hold and told the wife, uh oh. I lasted another year. My wife was driving me totally crazy with her anger and temper and basic marriage issues, and my pal came up one weekend, and like the bad guy he is, .....that felt great. and immediately i got my own bag and was back in business. I can't wait to get this stuff out of my pee,(i was + still at 3 wks last time) the left over goods are in the swampbox.
jamv- %do you have a pointy head? ouch%
hey hardcharger.... when i read between your lines and i'm no therapist it seems you've got some major issues going on...
you are worried about your pee?
i suggest you look a bit deeper into yourself..... face your truths. if that's how you really feel about therapy then man go dig up your stash from the swamp and keep smoking what's the diff? you'll be back at it soon enough.
you got careless??? be more careful.
what is telling your wife going to accomplish except confirm that you have been lying to her for years. %should make her feel great%. will she ever trust you again. does it matter? sounds like you are one big shot dude.
but paranoid too.
which probably means you are no big shot just a big talker.
i'll stop here. don't want to make you an enemy. just feel like smacking you and telling you to wake up. quitting is great and good for you, but dude you got a few things your big shot self needs to learn.... look into yourself.
fyi i too am a respected person in my community. my husband works and travels in circles that would make your head spin. (so much so i can not mention them here) i am a mom and have a responsiblity to my daughter and her future. that is why i needed to quit.
for me and for them and for our future. then again they are what is important to me.
no games here. no paranoia. only truth and facing it, dealing with it and hopefully moving on and away from this dirty weed hole i dug myself into.
take a look at yourself OR you can hide under you pride and go do an hour of yoga, run a few miles and check your pee in a few weeks.
-jo
hey hardcharger.... when i read between your lines and i'm no therapist it seems you've got some major issues going on...
you are worried about your pee?
i suggest you look a bit deeper into yourself..... face your truths. if that's how you really feel about therapy then man go dig up your stash from the swamp and keep smoking what's the diff? you'll be back at it soon enough.
you got careless??? be more careful.
what is telling your wife going to accomplish except confirm that you have been lying to her for years. %should make her feel great%. will she ever trust you again. does it matter? sounds like you are one big shot dude.
but paranoid too.
which probably means you are no big shot just a big talker.
i'll stop here. don't want to make you an enemy. just feel like smacking you and telling you to wake up. quitting is great and good for you, but dude you got a few things your big shot self needs to learn.... look into yourself.
fyi i too am a respected person in my community. my husband works and travels in circles that would make your head spin. (so much so i can not mention them here) i am a mom and have a responsiblity to my daughter and her future. that is why i needed to quit.
for me and for them and for our future. then again they are what is important to me.
no games here. no paranoia. only truth and facing it, dealing with it and hopefully moving on and away from this dirty weed hole i dug myself into.
take a look at yourself OR you can hide under you pride and go do an hour of yoga, run a few miles and check your pee in a few weeks.
-jo
>pointy head
sorry about that but was not referring to jamv. I really don't like the diagnosis of bipolar for me. who isn't up and down. i know a bit about the beauracracy of treatment and I would rather have no parts of it, if possible.
>face your truths
facing it right now, got to keep off this stuff, right now my insides are churning and i can't stop it. i don't think therapy is going to do that much for me, i need time served straight.
>been lying to her for years
not really, pot hasn't been mentioned in our household for a long time, if there would be a show on it, it i would get up and leave the room, i don't have to be a liar to do my thing.
>your big shot self needs to learn
i learned it, smoking pot could get me and those around me in big trouble, after a long time when the pain is gone, i forget that lesson though
>take a look at yourself
i have an addictive personality, i got addicted to alcohol almost immediately and way back in the college days i was temporarily on other things.
>weedhole
it's not the worst thing going, and i will get out, i doubt i'll slip for quite a while
sorry about that but was not referring to jamv. I really don't like the diagnosis of bipolar for me. who isn't up and down. i know a bit about the beauracracy of treatment and I would rather have no parts of it, if possible.
>face your truths
facing it right now, got to keep off this stuff, right now my insides are churning and i can't stop it. i don't think therapy is going to do that much for me, i need time served straight.
>been lying to her for years
not really, pot hasn't been mentioned in our household for a long time, if there would be a show on it, it i would get up and leave the room, i don't have to be a liar to do my thing.
>your big shot self needs to learn
i learned it, smoking pot could get me and those around me in big trouble, after a long time when the pain is gone, i forget that lesson though
>take a look at yourself
i have an addictive personality, i got addicted to alcohol almost immediately and way back in the college days i was temporarily on other things.
>weedhole
it's not the worst thing going, and i will get out, i doubt i'll slip for quite a while
wow hardcharger %seems like you do have all the answers% - good luck!
keep posting!
-jo
keep posting!
-jo
OH MY GOD LOL OH OH LOL
RFLMAO
Yes i do have a pointy head hee heee heeee
but dont tell
No offense meant by the bipolar comment, and by no means could anyone make a diagnosis of bipolar by a few sentences on a message board. However, with your reaction makes me wonder even more if i might be onto something. The treatment of bipolar disorder requires more than psychotherapy, in fact only a minimal portion. In fact you do have somethings accurate, your addictive personality, ask anyone with bipolar if they have addiction problems, or adults with ADHD if they have addiction problems. again i must say until you are clean awhile it would be hard to make such a diagnosis, however if ALL you are doing is a depressant and no stimulants it could be made sooner. Most bipolar and adhd folks are highly intelligent and successful.
and why was a therapist chit chatting, what kinda therapist was that, sounds like a bad experience to me. maybe find a REAL therapist and dont get prescribed addictive meds such as ativan and see what happens. life could be a little more enjoyable.
but i could be wrong, seems like your way of thinking has worked wonders for ya.
dude, we all want to help, no offense is intended. i do like the pointy head comment.
jojo thanks for support, you almost gave me away!!!!! everyone knows my head is pointy for a reason.
RFLMAO
Yes i do have a pointy head hee heee heeee
but dont tell
No offense meant by the bipolar comment, and by no means could anyone make a diagnosis of bipolar by a few sentences on a message board. However, with your reaction makes me wonder even more if i might be onto something. The treatment of bipolar disorder requires more than psychotherapy, in fact only a minimal portion. In fact you do have somethings accurate, your addictive personality, ask anyone with bipolar if they have addiction problems, or adults with ADHD if they have addiction problems. again i must say until you are clean awhile it would be hard to make such a diagnosis, however if ALL you are doing is a depressant and no stimulants it could be made sooner. Most bipolar and adhd folks are highly intelligent and successful.
and why was a therapist chit chatting, what kinda therapist was that, sounds like a bad experience to me. maybe find a REAL therapist and dont get prescribed addictive meds such as ativan and see what happens. life could be a little more enjoyable.
but i could be wrong, seems like your way of thinking has worked wonders for ya.
dude, we all want to help, no offense is intended. i do like the pointy head comment.
jojo thanks for support, you almost gave me away!!!!! everyone knows my head is pointy for a reason.
jamv- girl i would never give you away it was the "%even if you need a job and need to write all kind of things down on paper%" as a teacher, a student, a volunteer, a reindeer.....! never sell you out. just some people PMO!
stupid comments......
where is hippienerd ???? hipppppppiiiiieeeee......
stupid comments......
where is hippienerd ???? hipppppppiiiiieeeee......
thanks girls, you REALLY know how to kick a guy when he is down, i have my wife grining at home, about knowin if she walks, she gets all the $$$ and I get all the pain, now I have you two gangin up on me
maybe my grateful dead "errand" girl will give me comfort
It would appear I have the dubious honour of relating to other potheads and their spouses simultaneously.
Hardcharger, you said - " I don't want any disorders"
me neither. :-( That would suck.
I appreciate Jamv and JoJo sharing that info. I would love to grow a pointy head, but alas I only have motherhood knowledge, waitressing skills and a little background in funeral services.
I realized something today. It occurred to me that my addiction has been alot like the 5 stages you may have heard of regarding death. My version goes like this.
1. Denial and Isolation, "I'm not THAT bad." And "Me and my best friend weed is all I need."
2. Anger - "Everybody is picking on me."and "Everybody is an a****** except me."
3. Bargaining (with myself) - "I'll only use a little." or "I'll only use on weekends."
4. Depression - "I don't want to get out of bed today." and " I feel helpless and hopeless."
5. Acceptance - " I have an issue with pot and I need to get help from someone who can help me figure out why...."
I still bounce around these 5 numbers....oh wait, except number one. I've proven to myself that just isn't true for me, anymore.
Thanks to this site/insight from others and education on the use/misuse/abuse/addiction topics, I trust I'll keep getting healthier.
Mind, body and spirit.
Hardcharger, you said - " I don't want any disorders"
me neither. :-( That would suck.
I appreciate Jamv and JoJo sharing that info. I would love to grow a pointy head, but alas I only have motherhood knowledge, waitressing skills and a little background in funeral services.
I realized something today. It occurred to me that my addiction has been alot like the 5 stages you may have heard of regarding death. My version goes like this.
1. Denial and Isolation, "I'm not THAT bad." And "Me and my best friend weed is all I need."
2. Anger - "Everybody is picking on me."and "Everybody is an a****** except me."
3. Bargaining (with myself) - "I'll only use a little." or "I'll only use on weekends."
4. Depression - "I don't want to get out of bed today." and " I feel helpless and hopeless."
5. Acceptance - " I have an issue with pot and I need to get help from someone who can help me figure out why...."
I still bounce around these 5 numbers....oh wait, except number one. I've proven to myself that just isn't true for me, anymore.
Thanks to this site/insight from others and education on the use/misuse/abuse/addiction topics, I trust I'll keep getting healthier.
Mind, body and spirit.
hardcharger, please understand we have all been thru hell the past few months.
and we call it as we see it.
maybe just maybe you came to this site due to the fact you might need to be here. and maybe just maybe you are hearing things that you need to hear. things that you dont want to hear, but things that are necessary all the same.
if you feel ganged up on, well that is too bad, that is your choice.
who are you threatening in re. to picking up with the girl. correct me if i interpretted that wrong. i think you said maybe you could find somekind of solace with her.
go for it. if you think that is the answer. but if i am not mistaken you just said all these other mountains you have climbed have not made you happy either. but i also found it interesting you almost made that comment as if it were a threat to strangers on the board. oh i will just go find me a dope smokin woman. then we will see. again if i mis interpreted, then forgive, i have a tendency to do so when things are written in black and white.
did you mean to make that threat to your wife? would you like to make that threat to your wife? and money seems to be the least of your worries. have an affair and then see what your wife does with your money.
sometimes support comes in different forms, just because we arent saying all these people are being mean to you and poor pitiful you doesnt mean we arent trying to help. it is just a reality check from people who have been there, on many sides of the fence.
there are lots of good books out there too, one is actually called ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY, maybe it will help.
good luck
jojo, i forgot to use the % when i was referring to you giving me away, just teasing, i was imagining sitting in my chair with a pointy hat on and writing notes. haha.
and we call it as we see it.
maybe just maybe you came to this site due to the fact you might need to be here. and maybe just maybe you are hearing things that you need to hear. things that you dont want to hear, but things that are necessary all the same.
if you feel ganged up on, well that is too bad, that is your choice.
who are you threatening in re. to picking up with the girl. correct me if i interpretted that wrong. i think you said maybe you could find somekind of solace with her.
go for it. if you think that is the answer. but if i am not mistaken you just said all these other mountains you have climbed have not made you happy either. but i also found it interesting you almost made that comment as if it were a threat to strangers on the board. oh i will just go find me a dope smokin woman. then we will see. again if i mis interpreted, then forgive, i have a tendency to do so when things are written in black and white.
did you mean to make that threat to your wife? would you like to make that threat to your wife? and money seems to be the least of your worries. have an affair and then see what your wife does with your money.
sometimes support comes in different forms, just because we arent saying all these people are being mean to you and poor pitiful you doesnt mean we arent trying to help. it is just a reality check from people who have been there, on many sides of the fence.
there are lots of good books out there too, one is actually called ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY, maybe it will help.
good luck
jojo, i forgot to use the % when i was referring to you giving me away, just teasing, i was imagining sitting in my chair with a pointy hat on and writing notes. haha.
"you people" all started when i disagreed with this bipolar tag, which i am not. and then you make fun of my exercise, well, i've worked out moderately my entire life and it shows. and it is a guaranteed mood elevator me to sweat for 30 mins', but you want me on meds like you are probably.
my other buddy doc, who is too smart to give me ativan, gave me chlonodine, a non-addictive blood pressure med that has some calming effects(hope it doesn't calm everything).
sorry about threat, with my grateful dead girl. but she is kinda of a fantasy for me.(I knew her for well over a year before i broke down and told her i smoke) my wife is so mean to me, for no reason whatsoever, and it is so routine, like any normal guy i would like to be in the arms of someone "comforting". today i call and my wife is screaming about how she hates my kids, and they are the most beautiful, honor student, goodytooshoes a father would ever want. i don't think they know anything about me, except we don't wind the grandfather clock and i set it to 4:20 permanently, haha.
my other buddy doc, who is too smart to give me ativan, gave me chlonodine, a non-addictive blood pressure med that has some calming effects(hope it doesn't calm everything).
sorry about threat, with my grateful dead girl. but she is kinda of a fantasy for me.(I knew her for well over a year before i broke down and told her i smoke) my wife is so mean to me, for no reason whatsoever, and it is so routine, like any normal guy i would like to be in the arms of someone "comforting". today i call and my wife is screaming about how she hates my kids, and they are the most beautiful, honor student, goodytooshoes a father would ever want. i don't think they know anything about me, except we don't wind the grandfather clock and i set it to 4:20 permanently, haha.
and then someone tells me to go to my swampbox, that was REALLY low. that is not why i am here.
poor you.
"you people"
and if she is so mean why dont you do something about it. and why are you allowing your children to grow up in that kind of environment. and why are you so sensitive over the "WORD" bipolar.
you are right this is probably not what you need.
good luck.
so far most i have known on this board have ALL been very supportive and if you feel the need to get defensive that is a decision you have made. but i have not seen you try to make a mends. i could care less about your threat of another woman, have a big time, i dont know you. i am just trying to help you have some insight.
"you people"
and if she is so mean why dont you do something about it. and why are you allowing your children to grow up in that kind of environment. and why are you so sensitive over the "WORD" bipolar.
you are right this is probably not what you need.
good luck.
so far most i have known on this board have ALL been very supportive and if you feel the need to get defensive that is a decision you have made. but i have not seen you try to make a mends. i could care less about your threat of another woman, have a big time, i dont know you. i am just trying to help you have some insight.
hardcharger i agree with jamv but i do owe you an apology for being sarcastic this afternoon. yet it just seems to me you need a good knock in your head, you need someone to wise you up and set you straight in more ways than one. you seem to feel you have the answers but you are unhappy, you are paranoid, and your business is changing etc. and not to mention you have a uneasy relationship with your wife. i think you have some issues that the weed has been masking and you aren't giving yourself a chance to let go and look inward. i think you should. that's my opinion. i didn't really mean you should go to the swampbox, i was being sarcastic and you probably didn't get that. what i meant is that unless you can face some hard or maybe easy truth ..... you may as well.
i didn't mean to be mean. and none of us mean to gang up on you.
you came to this board wanting help then don't want it. and don't think you need it.
i don't think you want to call the weed girl. i don't think you should. i think you really need to do some self examination and take it from there.
sorry if you feel unwanted here, that is not the case. please take the suggestions and think about them?
jo
i didn't mean to be mean. and none of us mean to gang up on you.
you came to this board wanting help then don't want it. and don't think you need it.
i don't think you want to call the weed girl. i don't think you should. i think you really need to do some self examination and take it from there.
sorry if you feel unwanted here, that is not the case. please take the suggestions and think about them?
jo
JoJo-excuse my ignorance but I've never heard the term swampbox. :-) Care to elaborate?
hi- hardcharger used the word. i'm a city girl so i don't know either :)
i assumed it was something in his yard, he mentioned living in the country.
....... maybe hardcharger can enlighten us to what a swampbox actually is???
i assumed it was something in his yard, he mentioned living in the country.
....... maybe hardcharger can enlighten us to what a swampbox actually is???
i'm a very outdoor oriented person, and at times like this, a little dumb to just throw everything away at first, so I put it in a weatherproof box in a swamp. one of these days i get further into my recovery, i'll toss it or give it away
thanks - now we know. a swampbox. don't have em here in the city.
how are you doing today hardcharger?
jo
how are you doing today hardcharger?
jo
