If Court Order To Rehab Does It Work

Question my son was arrested last Sunday . First time in 10 years we all kept him out and enable him .
When my younger son and I quit my addict son and his girlfriend tried to steal his brothers wallet while he was visiting.what's worse they were giving him clothes food and a bike. Which he knew as going to be pawned.
As we are always making sure any meds are locked up and money hid he still found wallet and ran. My youngest got it back right away as my addict son already took his credit cards pocketed them and toss wallet. Next day he stole phone from hospital employee. Of course he was caught and arrested. He said to officer I'm on medication .. officer call my son who informed him he is heavy user and had mental issues and homeless
My addict son had now been moved to a rehab centre in jail until he had thecourt hearing.
Has anyone knew any who was sentenced to drug rehab actually stayed cleaned.
I haven't heard of any one completely staying clean.
I have lost hope that has the strength or will power to be a drug free.
Helplessness mom
I know you are feeling hopeless at the moment, but maybe something will click this time & your son will want to stay clean. This disease takes its toll on all of us, especially the addict. Make sure to take care of yourself & have support for yourself. I too didn't know I was enabling until I learned about it. My daughter is in another inpatient program. This is the 5th in a year. I'm hoping this is the time she wants to finally work at staying clean.
"I have lost hope that has the strength or will power to be a drug free."

If he is an addict/alcoholic like me he does NOT HAVE the strength or willpower necessary.

But that is not the end of it ..... admitting helplessness is the beginning of recovery.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf

I have been clean & sober for nearly 27 yrs by admitting I can't do it myself and going to meetings.

All the best.

Bob R
Pappa bear
He still denies it. The night he tried to steal his brother's wallet he was bragging that he was six months sober even while he was higher than a kite.
I honestly can't phantom why he wants this life when there is do much to offer. I hope this stint in jail will help see ehat he is giving up. But my head says he doesn't or can't change .
X
Don't lose hope. Your son need to more than anything at this moment. How is your son condition right now?
Hi Awalton,
Thanks for checking, my son is now a fugitive. He is still hospital shopping in different states, we know this because he is using my younger son's address for the bills to be sent to.
He is still denying everything. Saying he is not using, he has given up all drugs. Not a chance in hell will he quit. So I just think of him often and hope for the best. But I fear the worst.

xx
Suz
Helplessness,

I hope & pray your son finds his way out of this deep hole. My daughter's been gone a week. She's nearby, but hasn't been in touch at all. I miss her (the old her) , but I gotta let her go. I know how hard it is for you. Our heads say to stay the course, but our hearts say love them at all cost.

Just want you to know I'm thinking of you & praying for the best.

Don't lose hope.

love & God bless,
Dee
Thank you Dee,
When he was in our state I always knew he would contact me. However he is with this girl who is very street smart and they have left the state. We think Ohio but I haven't a clue. He hasn't contact me in almost a month. I check his FB page and nothing. only thing I'm thinking his phone hasn't been paid again.
Agree head says you can't make him get clean or stay clean. My heart says maybe I can try this option, maybe if I do this, or that. When I weaken I come on here to keep focus.

Thank you for all your support, I hope your daughter finds her way out soon.

Love and god bless
Susan
Helplessness.

I hope you're feeling decent today & have a good one.

I broke down & called my daughter after her counselor called saying she missed a meeting. She rescheduled, but she's on no medication since she dropped the suboxone. I did tell her the best thing I could do for her was to let her go. (That was hard.) She got angry towards the end of our conversation saying it's all about me (me). Good grief, enough is enough. She says she's been clean since she moved out last week & in with the boyfriend. I can't truly believe it. I'm trying to be strong & face reality.

I know it must be hell wondering where your son is. That is the worst.I tend to remember all the good things & I think that's what may be tearing you apart too. We miss the people they were. I don't think they know how to love themselves anymore, let alone us. It's rough. It hurts more than anything. I buried a baby & my fear is I'll bury another of my kids.

Please take a break from it. I know it's impossible some days, but we gotta think of the rest of the family & what's good for them & ourselves.

Take care~...

love & God bless,
Dee

Morning Bella,
Thank you and I feel for you, unless she puts herself in rehab, long term rehab you may have a chance. Going to counseling is a start, but my son was always ordered to go he refused to go by himself. He would get depressed (drugs) but blame the no body loves me, understands me. No one will help me song.
I had put what little he had in storage for him when he was in hospital for weeks at a time. He had nine surgeries and skin graft to save his arm. Bug bite hmm I found his rig. He finally admitted that and swears he is clean and his g/f doesn't use well except pot he said. OK if you say so.

Since I set up storage unit I paid for 9 months and finally called it quits today I received a notice that he partial paid it and is keeping it. SHOCKED!! maybe he wants whatever is in there or he is back in our state. I haven't a clue but he is alive today. Good thing.
I try not to think of him now only when he was little. I miss my baby I don't like the man.

Keep faith sweetie it's going to be a long road which I have travelled to many times to count. I hope she can make that final decision to quit.

xx
Sue
Hi Sue and Dee, Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you both and sending you hope in knowing we are all in this together! Mary ((Hugs))
MandM & Helplessness, Laura & Jmom

Thank you! I check on you guys before I do my emails. I feel close to you all & need the support & love you guys give me, so much. It is the best! No one else can truly understand the life altering horror our kids can dish out. It never seems to end. Mine (AD) wants to visit tomorrow. We texted her last night because her brother, my son, had to have his appendix removed. (He's fine.) She said she's feeling like we've all turned on her. We haven't but not giving in to her & letting go, may have struck a chord with her. Don't worry, I doubt it. I can't let her set me up again for disappointment. She will see the psychologist asap. I'm realistically hopeful.. lol

She wrote a lengthy text to my husband saying she loves her brother & isn't the b**** we all think she is. Ha! Maybe there is hope. Scared to believe it's possible.

Helplessness, I hope your son is back & is showing some interest in the storage unit! I hope with all my heart that he's well & will get in touch with you soon. I'll pray it's for the better this time.

Laura, any news on your son? Sure do hope so.

Gotta run, other daughter coming over for a loan. She's a waitress (23) & hasn't been making money enough to cover her rent. We told her to find another job, that we'd beat her (just kidding) if she's doing drugs too! She swore she isn't but hub & I agree this is the last time we loan her money. Told her so too. Even if I weaken, he won't. lol

Anyway, ladies take care. I'll pray for you all while I go abut my day.

love & God bless you all,
Dee
No such luck on storage unit, my youngest son told me today that they had called him and they were going to auction his things. Which I assumed is the payment, can you imagine he only had $170 worth of goods to his name! When I spent thousands just months ago to clean him up again. Sad affairs.

I hope you girls are doing ok and fighting you own addiction, which is enabling the kids. How is your son Dee? Hope he is feeling better. When my son had his wisdom teeth taken out it didn't dawn on me that his pills were missing. Such a idiot I was 20 years ago.

I think back on the times my AD son con me out of money, I could of taken a trip around the world with the money that he has gotten from me. Sad to say.
Funny Dee ! Your husband has to be your rock :) I know mine is. My husband will do anything for my youngest son, because he is hard working and it's tough now a days. He just bought a house, and got a promotion. So he needed a couple of things, he is using my credit but makes the payments each month so far!
My eldest son is also doing well. So when I think it about I have 2 out of three so I wasn't the worst mother. It's the only peace I really get I look at those two and think I did ok.


I hope everyone is staying strong and keeping the faith that god in his infinite wisdom has a plan for our children and I pray it's one of sobriety. I am starting to believe in unicorns too. :(

keep me updated girls!

Sue xxx
Sue,

Just so ya know....I answered your other post. I get confused sometimes as far as who I'm talking to. lol

My son's doing good. He lives a couple of hours away, with his new wife. Surgery to remove his appendix was successful. Thank you. At least he doesn't give us any trouble. They both have good jobs, bought a new house, etc...

I am doing pretty okay I'd say, not enabling my girls. Haven't seen my addicted daughter in a couple weeks. My husband set up something with her here tomorrow. I have many mixed feelings. Maybe I'll prepare for the worst, and maybe something positive comes out of it instead.

Sorry your son only had a few belongings in storage. Sad he didn't have more at his age. I know what you mean about cleaning up his debts. Been there. Neither of us will ever see that money again. lol It would be SO WORTH IT if they would just turn their lives around.

You DID do okay!! I'm glad your other two boys make you proud. Neither you or me did anything wrong. My son works for the government , is married, responsible....I know we did something right. I guess they've all got their own lives to lead. It's just so enjoyable to be able to quit worrying for a bit & be happy with our kids. How refreshing. lol

I ultimately place my kid in God's hands. She's ultimately his, so we share a love of them with him. There has to be a reason for the way things go wrong so often. No matter how hard things get, we'll stay strong. Falling short just isn't an option. Falling apart is completely acceptable for as much as we want. lol

Thank you for the love & support!~

love & God bless,

Dee
Hi Dee,
nothing new here, son is disappeared on the run somewhere in Ohio last I hear, girlfriend was arrested. He has a warrant on his head so he will be smart and make her do things.

Life had good days and missing him more at night. It's the unanswered question where are you are you alive? did you clean up? (wishful thinking on that one). Are you warm, clean getting feed.
I hate HATE to be even thinking about it because he sure is not thinking about us.

I hope things are good for you, my son is now with god who will judge him and make a decision to either save him or take him.

XX
Sue
Sue,

Anything new with your son? How are you doing?

The unanswered stuff is the worst. Try & stay busy. Quiet time leads me to sadness almost always. I start thinking of the past & how much I miss the girl she was, I even miss the girl she is now & that's saying something! lol

I love her, as you love your son. We couldn't quit if we tried.

Just so we can hold onto sanity, that would at least be in the good column.

I try to find a happy balance between loving just enough & not giving in too much. I don't want to enable. I will do things with her that are 'free'..like having her here so she can feel the love of her family & moreover my yorkie's which she loves. They get more love from her than I do, but that's okay. I like to watch them interact. Things like that have taken on new meaning for me. I treasure it more now than ever.

I just hope not to argue. That's enough to ask. Don't know if she's using. Will dance around that question tomorrow if I can skillfully ask it without having an argument ensue. lol

I'm hopeful, but it's like a balloon floating in the air, waiting to be smacked down by a rock. I try to expect the worst & be happy if I get lucky & things go better than that. lol

I'll continue praying for you & your son. Hope he checks in with you soon.

Love & God bless you,
Dee
Hello Dee,
No nothing, I think he tried calling his dad for money, the g/f got arrested, but where I haven't a clue. Been trying to find her arrest record. Do I want to know probably not.

I tried that with my son, getting him involved with family /holidays taking him shopping, cleaning him , washing his clothes.he loved it. He loved the one to one and never wanted to leave me side but as soon as he could he was using.I don't know if there was anything I could of done different. To this day I question my own actions and think maybe I tried the wrong tactics, maybe I should of done this instead of that. Maybe I shouldn't of hidden what he was from the family and seek help with him. He would come to me for a safe come down and then when he could off he went for a binge and I wouldn't hear from him for a few days.
It's agonizing sometimes and I wish I had someone to talk to, but no one wants to hear it anymore
I'm back working now, school starts soon so that will keep me busy and at this moment I hope I can help another child before he/she makes a bad decision.

Cherish your daughter because one day you might be missing her and I wouldn't wish that on any one... xxxx

Thank you for thinking of me..xx
Sue