If U R New-how I Stay Sober One Day At A Time

Alcohol
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I bump this post up every once in awhile for the Newcomers:

What it was like: I grew up in California the oldest of two girls. My Mother, although neurotic was not alcoholic or addict, however, my Father was and is now what I consider a dry drunk. I never felt "normal" or "part of" for as far back as I remember, but when I was sixteen years old and tried coke for the first time I knew all my problems had been solved...little did I know that was not going to be the case. I "partied" by drinking myself into blackouts and using coke to be able to drink more. I never used either substance recreationally, I only used them to "numb out", to bury my feelings. At times both chemicals would work for me, however most times they would not...I inevitably would end up physically ill, then my emotional state became jeopardized as well...

What happened: Graduated from High School, dated all of the wrong men, landed a job at a local Corporation, married the wrong man, bought a couple of houses, cars, etc - most of the material things I had always wanted for status...had two daughters - all this done while using and drinking. However, during every milestone of my life: getting engaged, getting married, becoming pregnant, buying a house, landing that job, etc I thought I should get my sh** together - my sister introduced me to the 12 Step program when I was 23 and in my heart of hearts I knew I was an alcoholic, couldn't admit I was an addict, oh, no, not me - addict how disgusting I thought! Well, I tried to get clean and sober for about twenty years (popping in and out of the program - mostly out) and tried various other programs and religious organizations to try to get "well". Nothing worked...I honestly thought I would die a hopeless, desperate drunk/addict woman. Well, in May of 2002 I left that man I was with for twenty years because of his using and drinking and inability to stay employed - he had a problem not me (smile). Took the kids with me and boy, did that speed up my addiction. I started to sneak drugs and alcohol into my place of employment to get through the day and needed a tumbler full of vodka and a couple of lines just to jump start my day (something I swore I would never do, use and drink in the morning - oh, it was okay as long as I did it when I came home from work, but yuck in the morning - well, that's where my addiction took me to...) So, one morning I walked off my job (thankfully, they have kept me employed and I am about to have 21 years with that Corporation). Once again I broke a promise to my daughters (who are 18 and 14) and they walked out on me...to go live with their Dad. That was my wake up call, when my oldest daughter screamed at me "You are nothing but a f' in alcoholic and we are not coming back" - she took her little sister by the hand and left. I called my sister who I had just reconciled with and told her I needed help, I had all the material possessions I needed in the world, however, all I wanted was sobriety. I went to my sisters and started to detox, I called Central Office and immediately went to an AA meeting...what I am doing differently than what I did during the previous twenty years I tried to get clean and sober before is this: attend 12 step meetings on a daily basis, if possible, have a Sponsor, follow her direction, work the 12 steps in my daily life (just went thru them with my Sponsor for the first time), have the willingness to do whatever it takes to stay sober and clean, I surrender my will and my life to my Higher Power each and every day (I pray daily and try to meditate a few times a week), I'm of service to other alcoholics and addicts and I take commitments (I currently have three) at the meetings I attend. Nothing today, and I say today - because I only have today, is more important than my sobriety, not my kids, not my job, not my place where I live, nothing, because without my sobriety I have nothing. I totally embrace the 12 Step Program's way to achieve sobriety and recovery...I never want to forget where I came from...I am a liar, cheat and thief and addict/alcoholic through and through...

What's It's Like Now: I am a 45 year professional woman, I live by the beach in California, am gainfully still employed in a very prominent Corporation, my 14 year daughter lives with me full time again, I have my Higher Power walking with me day in and day out, I am never alone - and know I never have to do this thing alone...I am dating a wonderful sober and clean guy...I will be celebrating TWO YEARS of sobriety on 22 November 2005 - unbelievable, I am a miracle - if I can do it - after twenty-eight years of continuous drinking and using - you can too! Keep the faith - remember "First things First; One Day at a Time; This too Shall Pass; Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes...all those corny cliches, hey but they work for me and countless others...I wish each and everyone of you the peace and serenity I have found. Thank you for allowing me to perform a 12 step call on each of you who read this...ending this post with heartfelt gratitude.
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Wow! Thanks for sharing your story, very powerful and inspiring! Sounds like you've come a very long way! Keep on keepin' on : )
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That's a great story, VWGirl... thank you so much for sharing it with us. It's great to see success stories, it helps to keep hope alive for those of us just realizing there is a problem at hand. And we appreciate it!
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As always....you are truly an inspiration.
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Hi Always good reading VW Girl,
Take care, I am slowly getting my life into perspective at the moment,Will email you soon,
Ginge
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Hey VWGirl

Thank you for your story.

I can feel the gratitude you have for life and it is beautiful how you give it away so freely to others in your words.

May the light and love of all good energy keep you warm in your wonderful work.

Thanks for being an ear to Ginge.

Hooroo Zac
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Good Morning from Los Angeles Zac...thank you for your words. I truly do appreciate my sobriety, I want to give back what was so freely given to me....I'm pretty sure if I didn't stop I would be six feet under by now; they thought I had wet brain when I came out of my last drunk and thought I'd never come back all the way...but by the grace of God I am here and able to help others...life is good and life is simple. PS-Ginge is my buddy and now you are too!
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Thanks for sharing VWGirl. You are an amazing inspiration.
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Thanks Idgie, you are too! You all help me to stay sober with your posts!
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bumpin' up for Tremor...I posted this last year...and haven't revised my and mine daughters ages or my sobriety time. But...just advance everything a year, otherwise the story is the same!