This came up recently...I stated that I wouldnt change a thing,,as horrible as the experience was ( realizing i was addicted, the mental torment of dealing with that info; trying to quit, finally getting serious about quitting, and then dealing with the horrible anxiety of withdrawing...it made me a much better person..less judgemental, more tolerant of others...gave me back my sense of power in the world immediately around me..etc...
i thought maybe it would be helpful to those still in the process of quitting to hear what others feel about having gone through the experience...what method(s) they used and if it was the ultimately the right decision for them..
I am of course banking on the fact that most people that have quit regardless of method- are happy with where they are and also feel that the withdrawal pain was well worth it..
Thanks for taking part
Ali
Ali,i guess im not sure what the question is....if i could turn back time...would i?
If i could turn back time,and never have gotten addicted 4 years ago,never have gone through wd's,never have gone through ANY of this past 4 years,pertaining to addiction,recovery,etc....i would turn back time in an instant and make it all disappear.I was extremely happy before i started pills.Yes,ive learned some things along the way,but i would have learned them without the experience of becoming addicted and fighting to get my life back,without the addiction.{absolutely have alot of regrets.}
I hope that answered the question?
PS~I voted...will regret the abuse the rest of my life(hands down)
If i could turn back time,and never have gotten addicted 4 years ago,never have gone through wd's,never have gone through ANY of this past 4 years,pertaining to addiction,recovery,etc....i would turn back time in an instant and make it all disappear.I was extremely happy before i started pills.Yes,ive learned some things along the way,but i would have learned them without the experience of becoming addicted and fighting to get my life back,without the addiction.{absolutely have alot of regrets.}
I hope that answered the question?
PS~I voted...will regret the abuse the rest of my life(hands down)
I will, and do, regret the abuse every day of my life also... for so many reasons.
That's the way I voted.
Love
Sue/Enester
That's the way I voted.
Love
Sue/Enester
Kim
Yup thats the question...if you could turn back time and go back, would you change anything ( question is only to those that have quit..and should have made that more clear..)
When i was withdrawing, your damn straight i regretted it...but now with all that long behind me, i just dont think i could have learned the lessons i did had i not gone through it...thus i wouldnt change a thing..
Are you both completely off of pills or your substance? Im sorry i cant recall and that would make a big diiference in your response..
Thankyou Sue and Kim for your answers
hugs
Ali
Yup thats the question...if you could turn back time and go back, would you change anything ( question is only to those that have quit..and should have made that more clear..)
When i was withdrawing, your damn straight i regretted it...but now with all that long behind me, i just dont think i could have learned the lessons i did had i not gone through it...thus i wouldnt change a thing..
Are you both completely off of pills or your substance? Im sorry i cant recall and that would make a big diiference in your response..
Thankyou Sue and Kim for your answers
hugs
Ali
Yep...will regret the abuse for ever prefaced with a "despise regrets" most people do and swear to not regret anything in there lives. I do have regrets...if I didn't then I don't believe lessons are learned.
If I could turn back time...an absolute yes...again...prefaced with..I still get to know then what I know now...lol!
But when its all said and done..I don't look back upon it and mourn it..it is what it is...that was yesterday..I worry only about today..and only a teeny bit about tomorrow....can't help it...its my nature...but I try to live by this statement
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday!! Make sense???
If I could turn back time...an absolute yes...again...prefaced with..I still get to know then what I know now...lol!
But when its all said and done..I don't look back upon it and mourn it..it is what it is...that was yesterday..I worry only about today..and only a teeny bit about tomorrow....can't help it...its my nature...but I try to live by this statement
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday!! Make sense???
KeeKee
Your on the fence a bit here..lolo
Thats the POINT..you CANT go back and yet be the same person you are today without having had that experience...
This is really surprising to me..i hope i havent opened a can of worms...i really felt it would be a great thing for someone going through withdrawal right now to know that there IS a bright future, that they WILL be happy again, and not just happy, but a better more well rounded person for having gone through it...
i can remember thinking i will never be happy again.....
Where we are, and how we are feeling right NOW..as we are typing..would make a difference in how we answer i suppose..everyone has bad days where they wish they were different or things were changed...but in general, overall, doesnt our experiences make us who we are today and therfor shouldnt be regretted>>>?
Oh..what do i know...forget i even started this stupid poll..another not so bright idea....lol
Im off to bed..
Hugs
Ali.
Your on the fence a bit here..lolo
Thats the POINT..you CANT go back and yet be the same person you are today without having had that experience...
This is really surprising to me..i hope i havent opened a can of worms...i really felt it would be a great thing for someone going through withdrawal right now to know that there IS a bright future, that they WILL be happy again, and not just happy, but a better more well rounded person for having gone through it...
i can remember thinking i will never be happy again.....
Where we are, and how we are feeling right NOW..as we are typing..would make a difference in how we answer i suppose..everyone has bad days where they wish they were different or things were changed...but in general, overall, doesnt our experiences make us who we are today and therfor shouldnt be regretted>>>?
Oh..what do i know...forget i even started this stupid poll..another not so bright idea....lol
Im off to bed..
Hugs
Ali.
Yes Ali,im 5 months clean of my DOC(norcos)...im on sub...but...IMO im clean,i dont take pills to get high,i feel normal again,i feel in control,and i hate,hate ,hate the way my life was when i was taking the pain pills,it ruined so much in my life.
Though im on sub now,i have quit a couple times without the sub only to relapse,once i managed to stay clean 3 months so...ive been through the full withrdrawl thing too. I still feel the same way,regret,wish it never happened,would take it ALL away in the blink of an eye if i could.
I have learned alot,especially about myself,my personaility,my strenghths, weakensses,and a bit more congidence,but i truly believe i would have discovered these things as i have aged,it might have taken a little longer without the therapy,meetings,etc...but i would have definitley gotten more comfortable with who i am,and be the person i am today,without being an addict.Thats just how i feel about it.
Very good question,it'll be interesting read everyones answers.
The end result is...getting clean gives us back the lives we had before we became addicted,and that....that is worth itself in gold!!!!!!~KIM
Though im on sub now,i have quit a couple times without the sub only to relapse,once i managed to stay clean 3 months so...ive been through the full withrdrawl thing too. I still feel the same way,regret,wish it never happened,would take it ALL away in the blink of an eye if i could.
I have learned alot,especially about myself,my personaility,my strenghths, weakensses,and a bit more congidence,but i truly believe i would have discovered these things as i have aged,it might have taken a little longer without the therapy,meetings,etc...but i would have definitley gotten more comfortable with who i am,and be the person i am today,without being an addict.Thats just how i feel about it.
Very good question,it'll be interesting read everyones answers.
The end result is...getting clean gives us back the lives we had before we became addicted,and that....that is worth itself in gold!!!!!!~KIM
Kim
I would say you are "clean" ( hate that word) too in that your not displaying addictive drug chasing behaviour....
i do wonder though, if subconsciously YOU dont consider yourself totally over this until you are off of everything...
Perhaps then you will feel differently then you do now...i dont know..
Our emotions change as we live, learn. grow...which is a good thing..how stuck and ignorant we'.d really be if that never happened....no matter what happened to us our opinions never ever changed....Holy Cow,....
Hugs
Ali
I would say you are "clean" ( hate that word) too in that your not displaying addictive drug chasing behaviour....
i do wonder though, if subconsciously YOU dont consider yourself totally over this until you are off of everything...
Perhaps then you will feel differently then you do now...i dont know..
Our emotions change as we live, learn. grow...which is a good thing..how stuck and ignorant we'.d really be if that never happened....no matter what happened to us our opinions never ever changed....Holy Cow,....
Hugs
Ali
Kim..you are doing so great...i sure hope my last post didnt offend you...im hoping you understood what i was trying to say..
Im really hoping that some long time quitters will share their feelings on this tomorrow..
Hopefully Lisa, Rae, Donnatwo, others that have quit for quite some time and with different methods will share...
Goodnight all
Ali
Ali,youre right,a part of me will never feel totally "clean"(i dont care for that term either) til im off the sub.But...my feeling ssurely wont change,that i know for sure.Ive gone through alot due to this addiction,and not doubt...ive learned alot.But i would go back to 4 years ago and take away that very first day i took that pill in a heart beat.I will never ever think differently.
but...the good thing is,though i have regrets,and i would change things,im happy today,i feel ive come a long way.And to those out there going through WD's right now,you can be happy again,some may come out with regrets some may not,but the happiness is there,regardless.~KIM
PS~Of course you didnt offend me!
Yes...im sure some of those you mentioned will defintiley feel as you do,but done be surprised that some may feel differently.But like i said the end result is the main concern and that is...true happiness is out there,available to any of us of we really want it.
but...the good thing is,though i have regrets,and i would change things,im happy today,i feel ive come a long way.And to those out there going through WD's right now,you can be happy again,some may come out with regrets some may not,but the happiness is there,regardless.~KIM
PS~Of course you didnt offend me!
Yes...im sure some of those you mentioned will defintiley feel as you do,but done be surprised that some may feel differently.But like i said the end result is the main concern and that is...true happiness is out there,available to any of us of we really want it.
Kim
Never say never...lol
thanks for sharing honey..
hugs
Ali
Never say never...lol
thanks for sharing honey..
hugs
Ali
Never say never is a very wise statement,ive learned that in many many cases.
This is not one of them.Once im off the sub...and even years from now(when im still clean,lol)i will regret that first pill,and the aftermath.
Good night,hope you sleep well.~KIM
This is not one of them.Once im off the sub...and even years from now(when im still clean,lol)i will regret that first pill,and the aftermath.
Good night,hope you sleep well.~KIM
The 'using' part, I wouldn't have change. The 'abusing' part, certainly.
The first 9-12 months that I used were legitimate. My problem started when I no longer needed the pills but they continued for 2 years. Unfortunately, after using for a legitimate reason, they were so easy to obtain.
After two more years of thinking I was feeling good, I finally came to the reality of what control these pills had on me.
Hawk
The first 9-12 months that I used were legitimate. My problem started when I no longer needed the pills but they continued for 2 years. Unfortunately, after using for a legitimate reason, they were so easy to obtain.
After two more years of thinking I was feeling good, I finally came to the reality of what control these pills had on me.
Hawk
I guess what im trying to say to you Ali is...*My addiction hasnt helped to make me who i am today*...i get the feeling thats what youre saying about yourself...for me,thats just not true.Maybe because i didnt use for many years,like some have,i sarted at age 41 and am now 45...i just dont feel any differently about me and who i am becasue of the addiction and the recovery.
I hope im making some sense?~KIM
I hope im making some sense?~KIM
Hawk
That was exactly the same for me..started for serious legit pain, and in fact because i was known to be "anti-pills" and had refused pain meds or shots in the past...it was never questioned that i would continue to use past the point i needed them...
Amazing similarities..
Night hon
Ali
That was exactly the same for me..started for serious legit pain, and in fact because i was known to be "anti-pills" and had refused pain meds or shots in the past...it was never questioned that i would continue to use past the point i needed them...
Amazing similarities..
Night hon
Ali
i would absolutely go back - and never start (if i could). i was happy then.
then everything got so f***ed up.
then everything got so f***ed up.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I wouldn't be who I am today if I did. I wouldn't know this peace or serentiy, I wouldn't have the friends in my life today because of my addcition.
It is what it is. No use crying over spilt milk.
I wouldn't be who I am today if I did. I wouldn't know this peace or serentiy, I wouldn't have the friends in my life today because of my addcition.
It is what it is. No use crying over spilt milk.
For me, I wasted my little girls precious years figuring out myself. I would most definately go back. In a heartbeat. I was there, but I sure could have done a much better job.
I did learn alot about myself, and have a sense of peace now. I also know that it will take a hell of a lot to take me out. It made me stronger.
But, I will always have it in the back of my mind, and there are people that will always associate me with "junkie."
I did learn alot about myself, and have a sense of peace now. I also know that it will take a hell of a lot to take me out. It made me stronger.
But, I will always have it in the back of my mind, and there are people that will always associate me with "junkie."
I think this line of thinking is detrimental to progress...IMO.
coulda,should,woulda,mighta....LOL
It lends itself to a lot of time thinking about things we can't change.I like the saying I hear a lot in the program"It's o.k.to look at the past,just don't stare"
If I want to make the most out of each day, I can't be obsessing about the past.
I just turned 52 on January 1st and my sister e-mailed me and said"Isn't this aging thing fun?".....My response to her was"Yeah,It's not that bad" and I meant it.I'm doing everything I want to do today.
Everything that has happened in my life to this point have been the exact experiences I've needed to go through.I don't want to play God anymore.I trust he's got my back.
The sun shines half a day,
The moon dominates the rest,
Even contemplation
Should have its proper duration.
coulda,should,woulda,mighta....LOL
It lends itself to a lot of time thinking about things we can't change.I like the saying I hear a lot in the program"It's o.k.to look at the past,just don't stare"
If I want to make the most out of each day, I can't be obsessing about the past.
I just turned 52 on January 1st and my sister e-mailed me and said"Isn't this aging thing fun?".....My response to her was"Yeah,It's not that bad" and I meant it.I'm doing everything I want to do today.
Everything that has happened in my life to this point have been the exact experiences I've needed to go through.I don't want to play God anymore.I trust he's got my back.
The sun shines half a day,
The moon dominates the rest,
Even contemplation
Should have its proper duration.
I have learned a lot and for that I am grateful. Plus, I have made a few very special friends here, and I wouldn't trade them. The counseling I would have otherwise never went to taught me so much about myself. The simplest things that were right there but I couldn't see.
I absolutely believe that there is hope for every person suffering. A better life awaits them, and quite possibly better than it was before using.
BUT......
I chose "regret for the rest of my life." I don't have too many regrets, but it was the closest answer to "go back and never touch that first one ever." IF that were an option, I would take it. I might not be exactly who I am now, but I surely would have learned OTHER life lessons during that time.
I think it's a great poll, Ali.
I absolutely believe that there is hope for every person suffering. A better life awaits them, and quite possibly better than it was before using.
BUT......
I chose "regret for the rest of my life." I don't have too many regrets, but it was the closest answer to "go back and never touch that first one ever." IF that were an option, I would take it. I might not be exactly who I am now, but I surely would have learned OTHER life lessons during that time.
I think it's a great poll, Ali.
