im in need of sum advice.is there anyone that has successfully kicked this disgusting habbit 4 good. by that i mean years of staying clean. i used 2 think the wd was the hardest part and staying clean wud b easy. i now know its the oppisite. i find it so easy to start using when life gets tough. i know it sounds pathetic but H masks everything, makes all the bad stuff go away but then ur left with a whole load of new problems. dec last year i went 2 a private rehab and was clean. the course was 4-6 months but after 1 month i was suspendid 4 going to the pub with a girl who was also in there 4 H . i didnt return and at first things were great i got my job back katherine and jessica were also back in my life. after a while i moved back in with my partner and daughter had been clean 4 a few months and things were great. but i was drinking ridiculous amounts of beer and i knew i was replacing something.i knew it was only a matter of time b4 i used again but was very little and the first time i used again it made me so sick and i hated myself 4 it and didnt use again 4 a while.i have split with her 4 good now. i now feel i have nothing 2 loose and theres nothing stopping me from just wanting 2 get smashed everyday. loosing everything u have worked hard 4 the last 8 years is so hard 2 recover from. i have a new job now which was a good move cos going back 2 my old one just reminded me evryday of using cos a dealer i used was never far from work. i wish i never touched the stuff. i used 2 be so against H even when people around me used i always knew that was the 1 drug 2 stay away from. i used to have a raging cocaine habbit for years and got tottally messed up and paranoid from it . one day things were really bad and i felt so s*** about myself and decided to try it . i couldnt belive how good it was . no paranoya i could talk to people eat dinner sleep . at first i was only using to come down off crack until i realised i had a problem and needed it everyday. its such a crap drug to get into i hate it so much . i just want to be able to handle life and bad situations without using anything. if anyone has any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks LEE.
Lee,
I honestly think even though you might feel as though you have lost everything you should look to the future and stay clean because you never know what is around the corner. You have a new job and your clean. There is 2 positive things already. It is pointless substituing one thing for another like alcohol instead of heroin because they are both as dangeruous and addictive as the other. Find a new hobby, keep yourself busy and always remember as sh*t as you feel, how lucky you really are. Life has so many good things although we always seem to notice the bad you have just got to go out your way to find them. Who knows what is around the corner. Good luck and keep it up. I am trying to help my partner come clean at present, and with every bit of strength he will succeed cos I am a fighter and I dont believe in giving up! Stay strong. Your doing so well x
I honestly think even though you might feel as though you have lost everything you should look to the future and stay clean because you never know what is around the corner. You have a new job and your clean. There is 2 positive things already. It is pointless substituing one thing for another like alcohol instead of heroin because they are both as dangeruous and addictive as the other. Find a new hobby, keep yourself busy and always remember as sh*t as you feel, how lucky you really are. Life has so many good things although we always seem to notice the bad you have just got to go out your way to find them. Who knows what is around the corner. Good luck and keep it up. I am trying to help my partner come clean at present, and with every bit of strength he will succeed cos I am a fighter and I dont believe in giving up! Stay strong. Your doing so well x
Hey Lee......that was good ya posted........obviously this is important to ya and ya want to stay clean......I'm sorry you're going through it.
About the wd part not being the toughest part.....ain't that the truth......when we're in it we think it is......but two months later......there it is......on the mind every second......oh yeah we all have that same exact thing.
You can do this........absolutely........I'm a weakling and I got 3 years in come May 19th.......too late as we already tried it and loved it so that goes by the way side being mad we ever did it......you want it bad enough......no reason ya can't do this.........PICKING UP BEFORE WE PICK UP.....that's what I think you're doing......ya already KNOW up the road it's coming ya said.
So say ya got a problem today......your brain says "Feed the monster. I need heroin to fix this"......that's when you say "No way I'm done with that nasty poison and will cope somehow other than heroin"........same thing next day.
Pick out something that don't involve drinking or drugs.......this sounds stupid but I WALKED........instead of coping dope I'd walk miles and miles.....to work out my stuff........you can pick anything, Lee......skating, gardening, cleaning.
I know ya want to conk me cause I would have too and it sounds lame, but it works......then ya rack up time.....heroin ain't an option ever.
You probably know that boredom and some depression is gonna hit ya.....some of us take that Omega 3 fish oil.......swear that helps alot.......you can do this, Lee........time to get started......feel better, and carry on...come on here too....somebody will be here to catch ya.....and help.
About the wd part not being the toughest part.....ain't that the truth......when we're in it we think it is......but two months later......there it is......on the mind every second......oh yeah we all have that same exact thing.
You can do this........absolutely........I'm a weakling and I got 3 years in come May 19th.......too late as we already tried it and loved it so that goes by the way side being mad we ever did it......you want it bad enough......no reason ya can't do this.........PICKING UP BEFORE WE PICK UP.....that's what I think you're doing......ya already KNOW up the road it's coming ya said.
So say ya got a problem today......your brain says "Feed the monster. I need heroin to fix this"......that's when you say "No way I'm done with that nasty poison and will cope somehow other than heroin"........same thing next day.
Pick out something that don't involve drinking or drugs.......this sounds stupid but I WALKED........instead of coping dope I'd walk miles and miles.....to work out my stuff........you can pick anything, Lee......skating, gardening, cleaning.
I know ya want to conk me cause I would have too and it sounds lame, but it works......then ya rack up time.....heroin ain't an option ever.
You probably know that boredom and some depression is gonna hit ya.....some of us take that Omega 3 fish oil.......swear that helps alot.......you can do this, Lee........time to get started......feel better, and carry on...come on here too....somebody will be here to catch ya.....and help.
Hi there lee, nice ta meetcha! I've been clean from heroin since May 2005 and clean from subutex for just over a year. I'll never forget those dark days when I was newly clean from heroin. I had to have a complete lifestyle makeover in order to make it happen. Out with the old and in with the new. I ended my relationship with my then boyfriend, moved out from the flat I lived in with him and found my own flat. It was the first time in my life I'd lived on my own, and it was both scarey and exciting. I ditched all of my friends who I would use heroin with, and for a while I didn't know what to do with myself. I threw myself into redecorating the flat, and making it into a home. My pc was a life line for me, coz I was so lonely.
I found it sooo tough at times. I remember walking round town with tears pouring down my face, I felt so desperate. I think for the first time I was left alone, with nothing between me and my demons, nothing to distract me, nothing to comfort me. I guess I did a few dumb things. I had one or two one night stands, to kill the loneliness. I lost interest in eating, and my weight which was low anyway went into freefall. I think I had a bit of an eating problem for a while. It took such iron self-control to stay away from the heroin, that it sort of spilled over into other areas of my life. I'd test my will power by deliberately not eating before 6pm, and when I did allow myself to eat, I'd only eat a small bowl of cereal and an ice lolly, and a low fat yoghurt before bed. Plus I was smoking a lot of da ganja.
I looked around for things to occupy me. I started an adult education course, but it was cancelled in the end because not enough people signed up for it. I used to go walking a lot. I can look back on that and laugh to myself. I was so malnourished that I found it hard to walk without weaving down the road, and would frequently veer off the path and land in hedges - that was me being sober! But it got me through the day.
After a few months I met somebody and started a new relationship, and that was really the end of me and heroin. I threw myself into the new relationship, which was probably a bit ill advised, coz he's not exactly my knight in shining armour. Many would argue that I swapped my addiction to heroin with an addiction to an abusive relationship. But through him I met lots of people who were good fun and weren't involved in heroin, and that was a life saver, particularly when i was coming off subutex. And although he can be a real b****** to me, and has put me through every shade of hell, we do have good times sometimes. I went on holiday with him last year, my first holiday in god knows how long, and had a brilliant time. That was when our daughter was conceived. And she has been a miracle, and has brought us so much joy.
Anyway, she's just woken up, so I better go see her...
life does get better
love
Diff xxx
I found it sooo tough at times. I remember walking round town with tears pouring down my face, I felt so desperate. I think for the first time I was left alone, with nothing between me and my demons, nothing to distract me, nothing to comfort me. I guess I did a few dumb things. I had one or two one night stands, to kill the loneliness. I lost interest in eating, and my weight which was low anyway went into freefall. I think I had a bit of an eating problem for a while. It took such iron self-control to stay away from the heroin, that it sort of spilled over into other areas of my life. I'd test my will power by deliberately not eating before 6pm, and when I did allow myself to eat, I'd only eat a small bowl of cereal and an ice lolly, and a low fat yoghurt before bed. Plus I was smoking a lot of da ganja.
I looked around for things to occupy me. I started an adult education course, but it was cancelled in the end because not enough people signed up for it. I used to go walking a lot. I can look back on that and laugh to myself. I was so malnourished that I found it hard to walk without weaving down the road, and would frequently veer off the path and land in hedges - that was me being sober! But it got me through the day.
After a few months I met somebody and started a new relationship, and that was really the end of me and heroin. I threw myself into the new relationship, which was probably a bit ill advised, coz he's not exactly my knight in shining armour. Many would argue that I swapped my addiction to heroin with an addiction to an abusive relationship. But through him I met lots of people who were good fun and weren't involved in heroin, and that was a life saver, particularly when i was coming off subutex. And although he can be a real b****** to me, and has put me through every shade of hell, we do have good times sometimes. I went on holiday with him last year, my first holiday in god knows how long, and had a brilliant time. That was when our daughter was conceived. And she has been a miracle, and has brought us so much joy.
Anyway, she's just woken up, so I better go see her...
life does get better
love
Diff xxx
haia lee
what can i say??i supose im in about the same situation,i have been on the gear for nearly 7yrs now(fk how time goes)i have stopped so many timews gone through all the wd ,saying im never going to put myself through this again,only to do a few weeks clean think"ive done well,so lets have a treat",but it isnt a treat,it gets you right back wre you started even if you only meant to do the gear for one day youALWAYS end up back fkd.Ive got a meth script now but ive yet to go on it im still smoking gear every day saying ill go on the meth tmorrow!!you never know maybee it will be tmorrow,why not hey??
thinking of you
jul
what can i say??i supose im in about the same situation,i have been on the gear for nearly 7yrs now(fk how time goes)i have stopped so many timews gone through all the wd ,saying im never going to put myself through this again,only to do a few weeks clean think"ive done well,so lets have a treat",but it isnt a treat,it gets you right back wre you started even if you only meant to do the gear for one day youALWAYS end up back fkd.Ive got a meth script now but ive yet to go on it im still smoking gear every day saying ill go on the meth tmorrow!!you never know maybee it will be tmorrow,why not hey??
thinking of you
jul
..Alright Lee..
..One day at a time is wot they say and thats the only way i know to get thru it..wotever ya doin on that day ..ya gotta keep ya mind occupied with something..i've only been clean 16mths..a little time compared to others but its a lifetime to me..i dunno how i got this far without using but the support from family/friends and that has got me this far..my family did'nt know i was back using last time around..so i could'nt talk to them about how i was feeling when they saw i was down and stuff..but they've helped me without realising it..ya need people around ya who are clean..no ex using mates..even them ringing ya for a chat could be a weakness to giving in..i see my ex using mates and have a little chat to em..then move on..not cos they're still using..just that i cant trust meself in their company for to long..16mths is still early in recovery as im gonna be recovery is for life now..but taking it a day at a time is all ya can do in recovery..good luck..Robbie..
..Edited to say..I dont think you can say has anyone kicked it for good ?..we're addicts in recovery and we dunno wot lies round the corner ?..hence the day at a time advice..
..One day at a time is wot they say and thats the only way i know to get thru it..wotever ya doin on that day ..ya gotta keep ya mind occupied with something..i've only been clean 16mths..a little time compared to others but its a lifetime to me..i dunno how i got this far without using but the support from family/friends and that has got me this far..my family did'nt know i was back using last time around..so i could'nt talk to them about how i was feeling when they saw i was down and stuff..but they've helped me without realising it..ya need people around ya who are clean..no ex using mates..even them ringing ya for a chat could be a weakness to giving in..i see my ex using mates and have a little chat to em..then move on..not cos they're still using..just that i cant trust meself in their company for to long..16mths is still early in recovery as im gonna be recovery is for life now..but taking it a day at a time is all ya can do in recovery..good luck..Robbie..
..Edited to say..I dont think you can say has anyone kicked it for good ?..we're addicts in recovery and we dunno wot lies round the corner ?..hence the day at a time advice..
