Im A Methadonian

General / Miscellaneous
1
My Webpagewww.mp3.com.au/BILLYKINGMy name is Billy, I am an addict, I have been an addict for as far as I can remember. My addiction took me to places I never wanted to be. Born and raised in New York City I was doomed from the start.As a child I was always confused, could never focus, and was always angry. I started to shoot drugs at age seventeen, got on the methadone program at twenty and took pills. I would wake up in emergency rooms, end up in detox units, and do it all over again. I felt hopeless. Nothing was worst then the lonliness I felt inside. I loved music, I started to play guitar at an early age, I picked it up fast, I sang very well and dreamed of becoming a famous musician. I lived in a fantasy world. When I took drugs they felt good for a little while,But when I came down I had the same problems.I got married at age eighteen after getting my girlfriend pregnant. I tried to be a responsible person but failed.My parents died when I was twentieone, A month later my first wife left me. I felt distroyed.At the time I was on 100 mgs of methadone. I was also taking valuims and elavils.I was getting old before my time. I felt hopeless, So I tried a thirty day detox in Manhatten at Beth Iserial Hosp.I left there shaking in my boots only to get high again in Harlam. The next day I was back on MMTP, This added to my feelings of failure. After that I lost my job with the Government, and found myself sleeping in Battery Park. I went to the E.R. at Governer Hospital on the Lower Eastside. They sent me to a Methadone to abstinance program on the lower eastside. I stayed there for a year and cleaned up and stayed clean for about One year. I got a dose of what it was like to be clean. I was young, Handsome, and had talent. The only thing was ,I didnt know I was an addict.I told myself That I would never use again. But I thought I could drink. I didnt know that alcohol was a drug to. I tried Marrage again I thought I was doing good only to start using again.At this time I was married again, Had a job And was being responsible. I was still drinking beer but wasent using Opiates so I thought I was ok.My world came crashing down, when my wife lost her Baby, I was devastated again. I went to the copman and shoot some dope and coke, I was off to the races again. I got back on Methadone again, this time it was worst. I crashed my wifes car oneday going to the doctor for pills. I wasent going for anything else. This is when I lost wife number three. My life was a shambles, Being Unmanable was a understatment. I had no friends, and was very depressed. I tried Killing myself and ended up in a mental ward. I felt like I had a heart attack. I asked the doctor while I was in there if they could get me off drugs, They got me down to 30 mgs of Methadone and sent me to a hospital rehab. It was Ironic because it was the same hospital I was born in. Thats where I heard the message of N.A. Recovery. I made my first Ninety meetings and found out that I was an addict and suffered from the diease of addiction. man what a revelation, I wasent crazy. But I was insane, Repeating the same mistakes and expecting differant results. I thank god for those people, They helped save my life. I found out that I could find a new way of life through the N.A. program. I started to get involved with the program, and fellowshiped with other members. After I was in the program for a while I severd in The H.I. subcommittee and brought meetings into the same facility I was a patient at.It made me feel good to help other addicts like myself. Today I am still In the program and still make meetings regulary.Lost dreams have reawoken, I have new friends, I am in a heathier relationship and also go to church. I have got back into music and recorded a CD last year. I wrote a song called the methadone shuffle. I would like to thank you for listening to my story, Love You all Billy K. www.mp3.com.au/BILLYKING
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2
Welcome to the board! Boy you have been through a lot. I tried to pull up that page, is your song on it? I was physically dependant on methadone for 2 1/2 years back in 2002. I had a very hard time detoxing at home alone but I did it. A big THANKS to my best friend that helped me a great deal. Anyway, just wanted to say hello and it sounds like you have had many bad things happen to you. The godd thing is you are on the right track now and life is good again. Best of luck to you~ Rae

Ps. I think you should post this on the pain pill site.
3
kingclean
Howdy, welcome best of luck in the journey. If you need to speak I will listen (so will a lot of other kind folks) and as long as you remain honest I will chatt back @ you. You have sure been through a lot. I know the feelings. Totaly diferent background but in ways I heard myself screaming for someone to listen.
1st of all I will say since your trying to get it together I believe you have crossed the first hurdle. Congrats! No matter how many times you fall get back up and try again. Before I share my story I'd like to hear more about what you need, wanr and expect from me and this posting. Promise you honesty and support.
THAT is one thing I never had during my years of drinking, using pot and living on pain pills. Again, keep trying, you are worth it and I believe (your words touched my being) you are finaly on the road to sobriety and recovery. Trust me and
Trust Yourself. Take It One Day at a Time.
GrampaAllen
4
Fellow, all Ican say is that I was having a bad day and read your post made me smile again, Im gonna pray now!

Im clean for 1 years and 07 days, but just for today is what really matters.
if you ever wish to talk more, email me:

fuscozo@yahoo.com.br

Hope to hear from you, keep going to the meetings and believing in God and in yourself, youre my fellow now, dont matter where you are.

God bless you.....
5
Tried to find the link too, as the posted one didn't work. Here's the right one, hope you don't mind Bill.

You're right, it's a huge price to pay, well done! If you have a chance could you post the lyrics..some of the track wasn't clear.

Scroll down to "Methadone Shuffle."

Link:
http://www.ic-musicmedia.com/artist...ge.php?id=73128

Actual song:
http://www.ic-musicmedia.com/artist...hp?mp3id=139170

Later..
6
want to add the same Billy. i think it's great to hear your success. it's sad sometimes that it comes only after losing so much .. but you are in a better place now.. Stay strong and Remember but for the "Grace of God" go I .. wow the things you have been delivered from and the gifts you have had restored..

congrats on the song.. take care.. Lynn