Hi everyone. my name is yvonne im from glasgow i first found this site back in april when i was detoxing from heroine which i have had a problem with for 7 years now. I was taking the lofexidine detox with librium it was a 14 day course to cut a long story short i took a bad reaction to the lofexidine and was rushed into hospital twice my heart nearly stopped it was pretty scary! After 10 days i was still really ill with nausea, back pain and my emotions where over the place. I feel really embarrased back sending a post but i got so much support from the kind people on the site there messages were so caring i was overwhelmed with it all. I feel like a fool but i need some reassurance you can beat this hell hole of a life im exisiting. I relapsed 15 days after the lofexidine detox just the one i thought my nerves were shattered i was emontially drained and the cravings became to strong and it let it win i couldn't fight it i started using again. I was staying with my mum because i was so ill and my brother who helped me so much when i was coming off heroine he was with me 24/7. He was a diamond but now he has disowned me my mum put me out her house and i had to go into homeless accomodation. Now ive cut my habit down to just enough to make me feel normal as when it starts coming out my system i get ill quickly the nausea starts the streaming eyes runny nose, i look and feel terrible. I went to my doctors today after waiting a fortnight to see him as im so desparate to kick this He is totally not interested i was sobing when asking him for help. I came off methodone myself last year cause i hated it it made me feel terrible so i weaned myself off 40ml and got off it within a month. If anyone can give me any encouragement i have no one to turn to for help no one is interested and im terrified cause i know whats infront of me and im scared. Ive asked my doctors about subutex he says he doesnt know much about so he wont prescribe it. I feel like a fraud on this site cause im still using and i get such a buzz reading all your stories. A year clean, 6 months clean and so on. You are all wonderful and i really really hope i can post a message soon saying im clean. I yearn to come off this and stay off it. Thanks for listening and im really sorry im still using i hope it doesnt make anyone mad cause i cant wait to get in all your shoes. CLEAN. x
Have you tried subotex? I was using for sometime and I went onto a course of subotex and it stopped all the cravings and was a godsend, however I am now in my 4th day of coming off the subotex and last night I went to hell and back (22nd August 2006), but it was no where near like rattling from the Brown and I managed to get through last night and today I feel a little better. It is hard, but this horrible drug can be beaten and you can get your life back! I carried a card in my pocket and wrote on it no subotex today and that helped, the first two days were quite easy, but the third day is the worse, but just think after 6/7 days you will feel normal again! Take care and try your best. Heroin will take everything from you.
Dear Yvonne,
I'm so sorry to hear about your relapse. As for your brother and mum...they are doing what they feel is best for you...letting you fall to your bottom so you want to get better for yourself.
I'm not an addict so I can't advise you on what to do to get clean, but I can tell you that once my son reached his bottom ($50,000 in debt, 12 days in one jail and 7 days in another waiting for hearings, probation, fines, criminal record for stealing) he decided to go to rehab and he gave it his all. Then he attended his 90 meetings/90 days as recommended by rehab. I was praying for him and asking everyone I knew to pray for him. He now has 18 months heroin free.
You can do it too! I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless!
Susan
I'm so sorry to hear about your relapse. As for your brother and mum...they are doing what they feel is best for you...letting you fall to your bottom so you want to get better for yourself.
I'm not an addict so I can't advise you on what to do to get clean, but I can tell you that once my son reached his bottom ($50,000 in debt, 12 days in one jail and 7 days in another waiting for hearings, probation, fines, criminal record for stealing) he decided to go to rehab and he gave it his all. Then he attended his 90 meetings/90 days as recommended by rehab. I was praying for him and asking everyone I knew to pray for him. He now has 18 months heroin free.
You can do it too! I will keep you in my prayers.
God bless!
Susan
Dear Mark,
Congratulations on coming off the heroin and working on getting off the subutex! I'm SO PROUD of you!!!! You're right...heroin takes EVERYTHING from you. I'm so happy you're getting your life back. It's been a hard road back for my son. He has a LOT of debt and he had trouble getting a job with his record, but he persevered. I will keep you in my prayers too.
God bless,
Susan
Congratulations on coming off the heroin and working on getting off the subutex! I'm SO PROUD of you!!!! You're right...heroin takes EVERYTHING from you. I'm so happy you're getting your life back. It's been a hard road back for my son. He has a LOT of debt and he had trouble getting a job with his record, but he persevered. I will keep you in my prayers too.
God bless,
Susan
Alright..Yvonne..firstly i dont think you should feel embarressed posting for the reasons you gave..it was a good 1st.step&i dont think anyone here is gonna judge you ..cos you realise you have a problem&are sick of life on smack.o.k ya did the detox..which sounded pretty nasty..librium&loflexidine would for me a pretty lightweight way to tackle a major problem&you sounded like ya didnt have much support..docs,counsellors etc.as a follow up..so dont wreck yer head too much for relapsing..easier said.You mentioned the meth.didnt agree with you..were you on a large dose..if so that could be a reason your body may have felt some side effects..would you think of trying it again even for a short period to detox or seek a diff.doc. about the subs.Ireally feel for ya cos i know exactly were yer comin from..i was on it for 12yr..6yrs on the needle..also ive been on a l/t meth.course for 6yrs.Ihave got comin up 4mnth. with no smack or benzos...it took a long way for me to get here&will take many more days of struggling with the ups&downs of recovery.Keep an open mind on all types of meds.that may help you&post back when poss.coz ya will get support even if you are still using a lil bit.Take care&again i know how bad yer situation feels....keep up the fight in yer head&dont take no for an answer when dealing with the treatment people....all the very best ...Davey
hi, i must 1st start by telling u im not a drug addict, just an occasional marijuana smoker. ive just finished reading a book on anthony kiedis of the red hot chili peppers. my interest in his life and herion addiction made me more interested in the lives of other addicts, so i came upon this site.
what i get from you is that ur doctor is a completely useless idiot, and i would suggest u see another one, obviously subutex has been given alot 2 herion addicts, wether hes heard much about it or not, and the fact that he seemed disinterested in you only makes him look like an a**-hole - not you, your trying 2 get help, and thats a real good sign. go and see another doctor...
also, reading that book, i think u cud do with going to a few meetings, anthony went a step further during his meetings in recovery, he offered to go to as many as they held, and promised 2 be there an hour b4 everyone elses arrival so he cud set up the chairs etc...his outlook was "if i need 2 be there early 4 these people then i cant go out and get high b4 hand" and this helped him alot.
i really cud cry 4 all of u on here, i really wish with all my heart that you get the proper help u r seeking and that u get urself clean, get ur mind back, and be able 2 face each day bravely. good luck x
what i get from you is that ur doctor is a completely useless idiot, and i would suggest u see another one, obviously subutex has been given alot 2 herion addicts, wether hes heard much about it or not, and the fact that he seemed disinterested in you only makes him look like an a**-hole - not you, your trying 2 get help, and thats a real good sign. go and see another doctor...
also, reading that book, i think u cud do with going to a few meetings, anthony went a step further during his meetings in recovery, he offered to go to as many as they held, and promised 2 be there an hour b4 everyone elses arrival so he cud set up the chairs etc...his outlook was "if i need 2 be there early 4 these people then i cant go out and get high b4 hand" and this helped him alot.
i really cud cry 4 all of u on here, i really wish with all my heart that you get the proper help u r seeking and that u get urself clean, get ur mind back, and be able 2 face each day bravely. good luck x
A doctor not prescribing a drug they are not fully familiar with is not a useless idiot. He should have recommended a doctor who knows though.
Yvonne
Get rid of the negative thinking. The couldn't and can't should be dropped. It won't be easy but you can do this.
Yvonne
Get rid of the negative thinking. The couldn't and can't should be dropped. It won't be easy but you can do this.
