Imagine

Pain Pills
1
I wanted to stop and say Hello. I recently joined this board, but i have been active in on-line recovery sites for over a year. And, with all honesty, I wasn't very good at it. The internet, back in the day, was an attraction, to an addict who no longer was leaving her home. I perfected the art of being whoever you wanted me to be at that time. When I got clean, on 9/6/04, the last thing i was thinking about was getting back on the computer, but as we all know, the sleep issues revolving around withdrawl can last quite a while, and the nights were getting very long....so, I joined an online site. But there is more to quiting drinking, than quiting drinking....and my old behaviors were right there waiting for me. I began by lying about my sobriety date.........but as my lies added up, so did the curiosity of others. I had talked to my sponsor, who was horrified to find out that I was back on line. After talking with her, I made my amends to the group, and took full responsibility for my actions. I met some incredible people on this computer, and i met some very predictable people. And it did not take me long, before I was back to attracting the same sickness, I had been trying to leave behind. This is what i have learned.....the internet is a scary place. I know this, because i was one of the scary people, in the day. But without the ability to look someone in the eye, and without them hearing what you are saying in meetings, or tellings your sponsor.......once trust has been questioned, or tested....it is very hard to re-establish, and i completely understand that. I know that this site reaches people......in those days of insomnia, these boards gave me inspiration.....and i want to share it. I have chose to join this site, not in a reaction to recent events, but in an attempt to carry the message I have made a hard decision, and I am looking forward to meeting you all.........

ps dawn you did meet a friend i hope to talk to you soon shari
pss the sponsor (you may be asking) said to do the next right thing and i feel this is it peace
2
Welcome to this board...have you been here before?

Thanks for posting this. We don't know who's at the other end of the net and for all we know, that person could be pulling our chain and isn't clean or anything that they say they are.

But this is how I look at it. I'm here for me and as long as I'm honest with me then it doesn't effect my recovery one way or another if someone else isn't telling the truth. It only hurts them. You can't get clean with lies and deception. This board is a perfect place to practice that honesty. If someone judges you for the truth, than you have to wonder what their own truth is.

I don't have to look someone in the eye to tell the truth about me. I just have to know it inside.

Cowgirl
3
thanks for the welcome...........i have never posted here before, but i have read a couple threads in the past. There are even a few names here that i recognize. And I am sure there will be some that recognize me. And, today, that is ok. Look forward to getting to know some of you..................shari
4
I'm really confused. If you've never posted here before than how will some know how you are?

Sorry for being blonde, but that doesn't make any sense.

Sure glad you're here though.

Cowgirl
5
oh great a fellow blond lolololol

my name is on the post my screen name is new, but my real name is me......peace shari
6
Welcome home.

Thank you for sharring your honesty and demonstrating the things I need to keep in mind.

God bless..
7
Now I get it....this blonde thing is tough at times.

lol

Glad you're here and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Cowgirl