September 11th 2013 I met my boyfriend and my life has never been the same. Two weeks into dating he told me he was a recovering addict, but didn't tell me the truth about his drug of choice. Two month later I come to find out he is a heroin addict and I was scared I had contracted hep C, or hiv. He lied about what he did and who he was to impress me and it worked. I found out from his family he used heroin and he checked himself into rehab for the 25th time. He was 26 at the time. When he got out I thought he was going to "change" so I took him back and we began to live together. It is now December and I find out that he has been using since he left rehab and stole my jewelry and camera (I am a photographer). Stupidly I took him back again hoping that the person I fell in love would want to stay clean for me. In December he went to rehab again and then began to use suboxone to stay clean until February 2014 when he picked up heroin and coke with me in the car without my knowledge and got arrested. Thankfully the police knew I was not involved. He went to jail from End of February to End of June and I visited him every weekend for those 16 weeks.
When he got out of jail he remained on suboxone from June to October when he relapsed. I thought it was a one time thing, but I noticed weird behavior again in the beginning of December. Since then he has been taking anything he can get his hands on and lying to me and manipulating me just like he has since day one. One second he is angry, the next happy, the next I don't even know who he is. He is manipulating his probation officer and not using specific days so he doesn't have a dirty urine. Once again my christmas and new years was ruined due to his addiction and is now in rehab again. I have not spoke to him since new years day when he went in.
I can't stop going back to him. Im looking for what I always wanted. A clean him. I am to smart to be manipulated or guliable, but I still love him. I know I can't change him, but it hurts so bad that I wasn't enough for him to want to change his habits considering we wanted to get married. Im so disappointed and sick of crying and being promised over and over again things that never come true. I don't know what to do I can't be sucked back into this. I need help from others who have been involved with a heroin addict.
Thank you for reading.
Dear Gi, I am the mother of a 29 year old herion addict.10 years plus...what you need to realize and except is in the course of their addiction not only are they effected we are also...As much as they need and require treatment we do as well...We want so badly to see who we know the person they once were...herion is extremely nasty....I have been lied to more times then you can even imagine I have done everything possible to try and assist him help him...he's my son why wouldn't he want to change knowing how much this hurts me and effects me? Why because his thinking is clouded by the want need and desire for his fix...I can't change him...But I can make changes for myself. ..I can decide what I will or will not except...I can use my rational thinking to determine if what before me makes sense or doesnt...G....You can't build upon a shadow...the man you want is showing patterns how many times has he been in rehabs. ..his patterns are showing you he's not ready to quit herion..He might care for you but his first love is Herion. ..do you want to continue living life as it is...believe me it'll get no better...He will drag you down...You say you love him? You need to love yourself more and determine you deserve better then a man who'll steal from you....it's like I said to my son don't worry about a relationship work on you....You need to move on and take care of yourself...your investing time and energy on something that isn't worth it ....He doesn't want to stop...sorry..
Christopher's Mom is an experienced, knowledgeable, strong lady. Reading her posts helped me. Felt some of her pain. (Just a drop in a like a lake.) You could be a Millionaire Supermodel Angel. Know what? You would still be defeated. If it was competing against another girl maybe a makeover or something to beat her out. Bet pretty good chance there. If I you figured out how kick someones addiction, you 'd be a super hero or something.We might have something in common.(don't be offended) Big hearted intelligent enabler with codependent tendency's. Relationships are hard. Relationships with addicts are truly tough love. Educate yourself and take care of YOU. Yes I know it's easier said then done. And yes it sucks.
Dear Being Me,Thank you for your kind words. ..I have never been infected with drugs or alcohol but affected oh yes deeply...I lost my only brother ,my sons struggle,one of my best friends son over dose on herion, all the boys my son grew up with addicted..I was the neighborhood Mom. I loved each and every one of them....I knew something was wrong when they all stopped hanging out at my house...The force of addiction is far greater then any I have witnessed...I judge no one...I can say I care for them...I see wonderful kind people ripped of their souls for the pleasure of the fix...I truly care....If ever you need to talk I am here ....I will continue to post as I hope my experiences might offer strength to others...bless all of us here ....families amd addicts....
Dear Gi,
I am new to this site.. I just want to say, you really need to think, and think hard... This past April I got the phone call about my son, who was 29 also..... it is heart wrenching... His wife is recovered for now.
I just want to say, you have a bright future ahead of you.. You need to revisit what you have written and what you have experienced...
This is something that no one can decide for you.... A person always has hope, some do hold on to recovery with lifetime guidance from someone or a group.
At a time he was doing so well he went to a inpatient recovery place, and then went back to the area he had came from, then his wife came to visit, she talked to him, they stayed for maybe 3 days then he left.... he held signs begging for money, hung out with the same people
the same area... he wasn't strong enough to say no...
I really think, you need to realize this is your life if you choose to stay...
wishing you the best of luck!
Keeping you in my prayers....
I am new to this site.. I just want to say, you really need to think, and think hard... This past April I got the phone call about my son, who was 29 also..... it is heart wrenching... His wife is recovered for now.
I just want to say, you have a bright future ahead of you.. You need to revisit what you have written and what you have experienced...
This is something that no one can decide for you.... A person always has hope, some do hold on to recovery with lifetime guidance from someone or a group.
At a time he was doing so well he went to a inpatient recovery place, and then went back to the area he had came from, then his wife came to visit, she talked to him, they stayed for maybe 3 days then he left.... he held signs begging for money, hung out with the same people
the same area... he wasn't strong enough to say no...
I really think, you need to realize this is your life if you choose to stay...
wishing you the best of luck!
Keeping you in my prayers....
