In Need Of Expierienced Advise.

Hello, I have never posted on anything like this before but I really need some opinions. I am the daughter of two complete alchoholics in denial. They are sixty and seventy yrs old and my mother is not in very good health. I am the youngest of seven children and the only one left who seems to care at this point. They all say that I need to detatch myself and let them live out the rest of their lives as they wish. I love them too much to do that ,but am at A loss of what I can do to help. They refuse to seek any kind of help and after every rock bottom insist that they can overcome the addiction, but slowly they drift back to the same old life style. It hurts me terribly to say this but its to the point that i dont even like them anymore. I love them I just dont like who they are. My mother is definitly the instigator in the whole thing, I dont even really think my dad would have the problem if it wasent for my mother. She is out of control ,She is always covered in bruses and forgets days at A time. She treats us all like crap,says awful ugly things and says she just cant remember saing them. I dont know what to do and if anyone has any suggestions on where to start , I would really appreciate the advise. Thanks ACE.
Hi Ace:

Since you say that your mother is the instigator, could you talk to your father? Perhaps when your mother sees that no one comes around any more or calls, she will realize her problem. It seems that they know they have a problem, just DON'T WANT to do anything about it. It is a horrible illness. I wish I could offer you more guidance, but if they don't want help, it wouldn't do any good anyways.

Good luck to you and your family.

Donna
Hi Ace,
Here is a site for you {www.reformu.com} click on locations, the state, and the meeting place w/times will come up. If they wont go - call the # and they'll send someone to visit. If they're anywhere near Manchester or Nashua,NH -
I'll go and talk with them - You can reach me at Meze337@aol.com
Ace,
Hello. Wow, you seem like my twin almost. lol. I'm 19 and although you're seeking experienced advice, I am experienced. My mom is just the same as your mom..My mom is an alcoholic and she will be sober for a little while, and then drift back into it, hit rock bottom, and start over..it's really hard to keep supporting them when they're sober b/c you always feel like it's a waste of time and that it's just gonna happen again, but I think sooner or later, they will stay sober adn so it's worth the pain and all this crap just to see them be sober forever..and pray that happens too. And she has bruises on her that makes it look like she got into fights with Mike Tyson! It's horrible! She's fell down stairs, had stitches, been caught on fire *YIKES*, etc, etc...It's really really hard to deal with - I know! And unfortunately, there really are no one answer or any right answer...You need to be strong and let them know that you love them and you really want them to be sober...communication can be so wonderful! And when they are sober, let them know how much you LOVE having them sober and well...that's what I do...I've put my mom in rehab, I've tried tough love, I've tried just ignoring her when she was drunk, it doesnt' work..words can be the most wonderful "weapon" if used in the right way for the right purposes..it really can..
I wish you the best of luck. Plz let us know how things go, goodnight!