I'm in trouble again! I really thought I had sorted it out and using was behind me, then bang! I've been on a subutex script for a few months and initally everything was going well, then one day I thought to myself I want to get off my head so I got a bit of gear - because of the subutex the gear had no effect so I decided to have a hit. Anyway to cut a long story short I stopped taking the subutex and continued using, to make things worse smoking no longer does it for me and I am back injecting after not touching a needle in almost 5 years. How the f*** have I allowed myself to mess up like this? I need to get back on track. Up until only about a week ago my life had been going so well I met a new girl recently and we get on really well, when she finds out about this..... oh my days it doesn't even bear thinking about! My situation is just awkward and I need someone to talk to. I remember using this thing last year and when I stopped I thought I would never return. Well I'm back and in need of some ideas of how to pull it back. I know things are not out of control and I have it within me to get things back on track. Basically I just need to speak to people who don't know me about whats going on. Thanks DJ
hello welcome! i know how hard it can be i have been trying to clean up for a while now and went on and off for a little while until 6 months ago.
I know how you feel about the new girlfriend and messing up cause a little over a year ago i was dating a verry nice guy and he is a pastors son he never was involved in anything like i was and he really didnt know anything i was going through but he was verry good at listing and not judging when i relapsed and after we broke up i started using mostly because i was so upset to loose him but i ran away no one knew where i was and when i was found he came to visit me in jail! I was so humiliated!
I feel this time it is so diffrent for me because i am watching my actions verry closley and trying my hardest not to do the wrong thing.
I am glad that you came here for help i'm a great listener so if you ever need. and there are alot of nice people on here.
I find it's eaiser for me to talk here cause no one know's me and it just dosent seem so hard. Stay strong! -Mia
I know how you feel about the new girlfriend and messing up cause a little over a year ago i was dating a verry nice guy and he is a pastors son he never was involved in anything like i was and he really didnt know anything i was going through but he was verry good at listing and not judging when i relapsed and after we broke up i started using mostly because i was so upset to loose him but i ran away no one knew where i was and when i was found he came to visit me in jail! I was so humiliated!
I feel this time it is so diffrent for me because i am watching my actions verry closley and trying my hardest not to do the wrong thing.
I am glad that you came here for help i'm a great listener so if you ever need. and there are alot of nice people on here.
I find it's eaiser for me to talk here cause no one know's me and it just dosent seem so hard. Stay strong! -Mia
When I think we are a third though March already I can't believe it. Time goes by so quickly it is frightening, it is my birthday in 2 weeks time and I will be 32 which means I have spent the past 15 years taking hard drugs. I spent this evening looking after my nephews so that my sister and her partner could go out for a couple of hours. My relationship with my whole family is so good at the moment and they have been incredibly supportive to me throughout my addiction so why the f*** do I continue to put it all at risk? The past 9 months since I 'came home' have been ..... I can't even think of a word to describe the journey I have been on!, lets just say it has been eventful and full of unexpected surprises - some good others not so good. What I can say is the clean time was certainly the good times. I have learnt quite a lot about myself, I have also learnt a great deal about other people and how they are not always the people they think they are. Once I am clean I will make use of everything I have learnt, and believe me I have found out so much about myself over the past 9 months and this will be invaluable to me in the future. When people ask how I am I often say 'I've been worse', because right now that is all I can say, however as always the ball is in my court and although the future right now doesn't look all that bright I have the power to do something about that. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired so its about time I got off my arse and do whatever needs to be done in order to make things better. As Andy says in Shawshank Redemption 'its time to get busy living'
Thanks Mia I appreciate you taking time out to reply. Having someone to talk to who doesn't know me and doesn't judge me certainly makes it easier for me to be honest. Although my new girlfriend seems to be really caring I am worried about scaring her off if I tell her too much about my past. I'm certainly not to far gone to pull it back and I know I have the strength to do it. One of the most important things is being able to speak to people who have been through similar experiences so I give thanks to people like you who will give me the strength and encouragement I am going to need over the next couple of weeks. Thanks Mia
I can definetly say that when i look back my best times have been clean times.
But somtimes i find myself addicted to the lifestyle when i first started dont get me wrong i am having a great time now but i like exciting i am a people person and i am fealing lonley alot. I wouldnt give this up for anything i am happy and clean it's much better than using.
But somtimes i find myself addicted to the lifestyle when i first started dont get me wrong i am having a great time now but i like exciting i am a people person and i am fealing lonley alot. I wouldnt give this up for anything i am happy and clean it's much better than using.
