My 39yo son is back in jail, again. Although his bail is manageable financially, nobody is willing to do so.. Myself included. He's had so many opportunities to reboot his life to no avail. He is a felon and these most recent charges will only complicate his life further. I'm 30 years sober and know all too well what I'm dealing with. There are no happy endings as he has yet to take any responsibility for the state of his life..
My question, how do I focus on the joy of life rather than be paralyzed in grief. Everyone else has walked away. I can't seem to get out of my own way..
Join al anon. It's helping me find peace. I hope joy follows. My son is younger so I imagine many years or until he gets clean and sober that I will be affected as the addicts mom and I figure if I can cope better maybe he will too......these women comfort me and share their own experiences about coping with the sadness of loving someone with an addiction.
Dear Zaane,
I, myself, am what is callled a "double winner". I am a recoverying drunk, plus I have a loved one who is still active with drugs and alcohol.
I can't begin to describe how helpful Al Anon is for me. I started attending Al Anon meetings when I reached about 2 years of sobriety. Although the programs have similar themes, there is no substitute for working a codependent program.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
I, myself, am what is callled a "double winner". I am a recoverying drunk, plus I have a loved one who is still active with drugs and alcohol.
I can't begin to describe how helpful Al Anon is for me. I started attending Al Anon meetings when I reached about 2 years of sobriety. Although the programs have similar themes, there is no substitute for working a codependent program.
I hope this helps,
Flyboy
Thanks Kimmie and Flyboy...
I'll find an AlAnon meeting... Support is exactly what I need.
I'll find an AlAnon meeting... Support is exactly what I need.
Flyboykuao,
My son is still in jail as no one will post his bail. His public defender has advised him to plead guilty at his next court appearance in 6 weeks. He is facing some serious jail time for his second felony and numerous probation breaches.
My question is... My son is begging to get bailed out and come stay with my husband and I before he is sentenced. Due to the nature of his felonies he cannot stay in a shelter.
He claims he needs time out of jail to "get his head right" to face his sentence. He says he plans to work and go meetings..court ordered urine tests, etc. during those 6 weeks.
I say he will use that time to drink, drug, and wrap up all loose ends, not in a good way.
We have told him no. I am really struggling with this decision. What if a 6 week reprieve from jail would be the better thing to do for him?
I need insight, opinion, validation...help!
Zanne
My son is still in jail as no one will post his bail. His public defender has advised him to plead guilty at his next court appearance in 6 weeks. He is facing some serious jail time for his second felony and numerous probation breaches.
My question is... My son is begging to get bailed out and come stay with my husband and I before he is sentenced. Due to the nature of his felonies he cannot stay in a shelter.
He claims he needs time out of jail to "get his head right" to face his sentence. He says he plans to work and go meetings..court ordered urine tests, etc. during those 6 weeks.
I say he will use that time to drink, drug, and wrap up all loose ends, not in a good way.
We have told him no. I am really struggling with this decision. What if a 6 week reprieve from jail would be the better thing to do for him?
I need insight, opinion, validation...help!
Zanne
Every time I said "I needed to get my head right" it meant that I was going to get high. Just saying.