Insanity is making the same mistakes over and over and over; each time expecting a different result. As some of you know, I had been thinking about going back to my husband.He really needs my support right now and I'm lonely here. I miss him. Well, he lives about 500 mi. from me. Yesterday we met at motel and I spent the night. First, I truly believe he's been clean since his teaking accident. (clean from coke, anyway) Well, I drive all this way to spend the night with my husband.(who,s been begging me to reconcile with him) aaaaaaaand he happened to "run into" a half gram. He said it just kind of fell into his lap.lol! We got a room and he looked at the peephole all night. He wanted to spend the night with a girl. I was the wrong girl, though. Know what I mean? Ordinarily, a half gram wouldn't have lasted him that long but he was being careful since it had been awhile. As soon as he told me he had it, I started shaking. By the time we got to the room and were ready to do it, I was naueous!! I didn't do any, though. I couldn't. I was shaking too much to fix up. (thank the Goddess) If something effects you that much, you better stay far away from it. Anyway, I see noe, my old man is not going to stay clean and I can't go back to that!!!
Tough call eh!Shirley,good on ya for not having any,but if you get back wid your man,how many close shaves are you gonna have?As for the present from heaven,yuo know the truth being a recovering addict.Iknow your lonely&miss him but is getting back together&maybe relapsing what you want.Take care ..all the best ...Davey
..Terrapin..
..Its hard to be on ya own when theres sumone you love is in calling distance..but you have to weight up wots the best for you..to be with your husband whos a coke addict..or to be on your own and clean and away from the drugscene..no one likes to feel lonely..its one of the worst emotions people can feel..but time heals..and as easy as it is for me to say..the longer your apart from him..the quicker he will leave your heart..and then maybe you can move on in life and find sumone whos never dabbled with drugs and you will begin to feel happier where you will be atthat point in life..also..maybe just take time for yourself and work out wot you want from life rather than rush into sumfin just to feel wanted..Robbie..
..Its hard to be on ya own when theres sumone you love is in calling distance..but you have to weight up wots the best for you..to be with your husband whos a coke addict..or to be on your own and clean and away from the drugscene..no one likes to feel lonely..its one of the worst emotions people can feel..but time heals..and as easy as it is for me to say..the longer your apart from him..the quicker he will leave your heart..and then maybe you can move on in life and find sumone whos never dabbled with drugs and you will begin to feel happier where you will be atthat point in life..also..maybe just take time for yourself and work out wot you want from life rather than rush into sumfin just to feel wanted..Robbie..
Man!! If I didn't have you guys to talk to, I probably would've already moved back in with him! I can't go back to sitting in my room all day ,with the door and windows shut. No radio, no t.v., no computer. And the whole time, sick at my stomach and shaking because someone's doing drugs and I'm not. The last year we were together, that's the way it was. He swears he can't get coke where he's living. I know good and well....if you want it, you'll find it. Awhile back, when Ted was doing a bid in federal prison,I got pretty bad on speedballs. I lost so much weight, I looked like an anorexic 90 yr. old!! I'm glad I get so excited at the thought of coke that I shake. It keeps me clean. If I do give in, 9 times out of 10 I miss and get so disgusted, I quit. I'm going to tell Ted that I'll be his best friend forever, but that I can't live with him. He's going to pitch a fit! I hope I can stand up to him. He makes me feel guilty and then I give in. peace, Shirley
