Well it's 5th period at Madison High School in the heart of Ohio and here I sit reading through posts about opiate addiction. I enjoy reading about others stories and their reactions to others unpleasent tales of the addiction that effects all of our lives. I do this of course because I am also coping with a life changing addiction that I never knew could be so terrible.
I'll be eighteen in a couple weeks and I'm a recovering OC addict. I've been good at just about every activity i've been involved in growing up. I've always played sports and been at the top of my age level. I've excelled in school and always been part of the "good" kids. I didn't take my first drink until I was a freshman in High School and its been down hill ever since.
My best friend and I, both of us star athletes, decided to do a pill one night at a party and thats when it all started. It was about two years ago that I started leaving school everyday with my friend on a dummy mission for percocet or anything we could get our hands on. We were just doin about a perc 5 a day until that didn't do the trick. Just over a year ago, my brother who is 40, moved in with my mother and I after the recent death of my father due to cancer. Grieving, my brother and I found common ground in our love for opiates. He is a recovering heroin addict, about 7 years clean, yet always gets his monthly scripts for methadone and perc 30's. Ninety perc 30's would last us about a week then I found myself with my buddies on a daily dummy mission. Soon we were stealing and taking people for money as often as the oppurtunity would arise and supporting our habits. We found a dealer in a local lady who played the middle man in a local OC ring and soon enough we were doin as many OC's as we could get our hands on. My life took a turn for the worst.
I started not going to school, getting bad grades, and of course that led to being ineligible for sports. I had one thing in my life, pills. For the last 8 months to a years I've been doin at least 120 mg of OC a day and sometimes more. At one point we even had bags of perc 15's sittin around that we did at will. I thought that I would never quit.
One day I finally hit rock bottom. I woke up one morning and realized that I had nothing in my life and that my habit was affecting everyone around me. I cryed all day and decided that I couldn't do it anymore. the withdrawals lasted about 5 days and I didn't sleep hardly at all. I'm back to lifting and playing basketball at the local Y, but the cravings are still so badd. I'm fighting to stay clean for my family, my friends, and for myself. I want to do this and I will do what ever it takes.
I want to do this and I will do what ever it takes.
Hey there RW, welcome to the board, thanks for telling your story. Man, my life would have turned out much differently had I "gotten it"when I was your age. I wish you all the best.
If you check out many the posts around here, you will quickly learn that it is easier to go through withdrawal and "get" clean, than it is to do the things on a daily basis required to "stay" clean.
So tell me, Relapse Warrior,
Are you willing to take in some NA or AA meetings to stay clean?
Good luck,
August
Hey there RW, welcome to the board, thanks for telling your story. Man, my life would have turned out much differently had I "gotten it"when I was your age. I wish you all the best.
If you check out many the posts around here, you will quickly learn that it is easier to go through withdrawal and "get" clean, than it is to do the things on a daily basis required to "stay" clean.
So tell me, Relapse Warrior,
Are you willing to take in some NA or AA meetings to stay clean?
Good luck,
August
First I just want to say that I usually don't post when I read boards, but I love this board! All of u guys seem like great people and I can see myself posting here for a long time and building alot of healthy relationships here.
i've been clean for about a week and a half and I already fully understand how hard the mental part of recovery can be. Withdrawals were terrible and I thought after taking cold showers at two in the morning I would never do it again. Hopefully I don't, but I'm experiencing the mental side of things now and it is very difficult. I'm hoping that this board will contribute to my recovery and I also, as u asked, am interested in meetings. My brother is a good guy and is proud of my intentions in this process and friday I plan on attending a local church for a recovery meeting with him. Thats what I'm working with right now. Thnx for the response!!
i've been clean for about a week and a half and I already fully understand how hard the mental part of recovery can be. Withdrawals were terrible and I thought after taking cold showers at two in the morning I would never do it again. Hopefully I don't, but I'm experiencing the mental side of things now and it is very difficult. I'm hoping that this board will contribute to my recovery and I also, as u asked, am interested in meetings. My brother is a good guy and is proud of my intentions in this process and friday I plan on attending a local church for a recovery meeting with him. Thats what I'm working with right now. Thnx for the response!!
i know that things probably aren't that great for you mentally right now, but they will get better. staying involved in sports will definately help with taking your mind off of the pills & give you something positive to concentrate on. atleast you figured out @ 17 that this is not how you want to live your life. that was a very mature decision to make. good luck.
Hello and welcome to the board. Congrats on your week and a half. Keep up the awesome work! I to just learned that staying clean is the hard part ( went ct back in November and relapsed already) its a daily struggle isn't it. I've been around this board since 2005. It really helps to have a place to log onto every day where there are people who are in your shoes.
I saw your other thread about the military. I assume this is your last year in high school? I don't know anything about being in the service. Well except that it helps pay for college. Do you have interest in going to college?
Again welcome to the board, I'm glad you found it. So have you been lurking for a little while, or did you just find us? I'm sure there will be a lot more responses to your threads after supper time. There are lots of cool people here in all kinds of stages of addiction. I hope you keep fighting and keep adding to your clean time!
I saw your other thread about the military. I assume this is your last year in high school? I don't know anything about being in the service. Well except that it helps pay for college. Do you have interest in going to college?
Again welcome to the board, I'm glad you found it. So have you been lurking for a little while, or did you just find us? I'm sure there will be a lot more responses to your threads after supper time. There are lots of cool people here in all kinds of stages of addiction. I hope you keep fighting and keep adding to your clean time!
Thnx for the support!! and yess this is my last year of high school and I hope to go to college. I would like to major in pshcology or something along those lines and maybe one day become a drug and alcohol counselor. Thats not a dead set thought, but its an idea at this stage. To answer your question about this board, I was messing around in class at school and found the site. I read alot of posts on here and the success stories really got me. People like cowgirl really gave me chills just reading their stories. If I remember right she was an addict for 26 years and today she is five years clean. I smile everytime I think about it. That is incredible!!! I dont think I'll be leaving anytime soon so I'll talk to you in the near future. : ) thnx so much
Dear Warrior,
You could be my son.......except, he didn't stop at 17 or 18 or 19. Now, at 24 he has "graduated" to shooting up because he can't afford OC. Thing is, he can't afford anything since he can't keep a job, so he steals. From his family, friends and stores. He is own probabtion for 2 years, and is now facing charges for writing bad checks.
He was a star athlete, like you. He wrestled, played football and baseball.
Please, fight as hard as you can to stay clean.
Good luck to you. You are certainly headed in the right direction.
JT
You could be my son.......except, he didn't stop at 17 or 18 or 19. Now, at 24 he has "graduated" to shooting up because he can't afford OC. Thing is, he can't afford anything since he can't keep a job, so he steals. From his family, friends and stores. He is own probabtion for 2 years, and is now facing charges for writing bad checks.
He was a star athlete, like you. He wrestled, played football and baseball.
Please, fight as hard as you can to stay clean.
Good luck to you. You are certainly headed in the right direction.
JT
Hi
I know you don't know me but I know you -how you ask well my husband is a highschool social studies teacher and guess what a highschool football coach.
I am around you at least once a week. We have players over for dinner and believe it or not they feel this bond with my husband and they feel like they can discuss anything. One night we heard the slap in your face truth about drugs and athletes and it was mind numbing.
Of course I sat quietly listening as the good wife and sudo mother to these boys and I had a big secret of my own. Hey guys guess what the little woman over here (me) is addicted to hydrocodone. I never said it but I was thinking it the whole time I knew what they and you are going through. And don't you ask yourself as I do what if I never knew this drug, never knew the calm or the energy I wouldn't even know what I was missing. Stay the course here please. Do it for yourself, for your parents, for your grandparents, for your siblings and do it for yes even your coaches. Get ahold and focus on the prize whatever that is for you - I will say in my opinion the prize is being pill free then go from there.
If you ever want to chat let me know and I will give you my personal email and I will get through this and I know my husband as a coach would get you through it too.
Be safe and stay strong
I know you don't know me but I know you -how you ask well my husband is a highschool social studies teacher and guess what a highschool football coach.
I am around you at least once a week. We have players over for dinner and believe it or not they feel this bond with my husband and they feel like they can discuss anything. One night we heard the slap in your face truth about drugs and athletes and it was mind numbing.
Of course I sat quietly listening as the good wife and sudo mother to these boys and I had a big secret of my own. Hey guys guess what the little woman over here (me) is addicted to hydrocodone. I never said it but I was thinking it the whole time I knew what they and you are going through. And don't you ask yourself as I do what if I never knew this drug, never knew the calm or the energy I wouldn't even know what I was missing. Stay the course here please. Do it for yourself, for your parents, for your grandparents, for your siblings and do it for yes even your coaches. Get ahold and focus on the prize whatever that is for you - I will say in my opinion the prize is being pill free then go from there.
If you ever want to chat let me know and I will give you my personal email and I will get through this and I know my husband as a coach would get you through it too.
Be safe and stay strong
U guys are awesome no lie!!! I just got home from another mind boggling day doing everything I can to keep my mind off pills. Coming home and logging on could not be more inspiring or satisfying when I have people that know what I'm going through pulling for me. I get chills everytime I read a heart warming comment. thank you guys so much and I hope I can help others like u are helping me.
Irisheyes my email is wahoowizard08@aol.com
ill let u know if I ever need to talk : ) thnx
Irisheyes my email is wahoowizard08@aol.com
ill let u know if I ever need to talk : ) thnx
Hi and Welcome - You know I think that most every one of us on this board started drinking and drugging as early as high school. I wish I would have stopped at that point. I could have avoided a whole lot of pain and suffering if I would have been as smart as you. You have your whole life ahead of you. Without drugs the possibilities are endless. With drugs you become paralyzed. Keep coming back!
