Intervention

Anyone here have any experience doing one? We are thinking of doing one for a friend (if you can still call him that).
Danny,

I was involved in one half-assed intervention three years ago. My neighbor pulled me and another friend into hauling her college-aged daughter all the way to the rehab facility and then the two of them sat in the car for two hours while the girl talked her mom out of committing her. She is currently heavily meth-addicted and dropped out of college. Her mom never could say, "no" to her.

So no, I don't have much experience but if I ever do anything like that again, I will bring a neutral professional along. It's too painful for people who are emotionally-involved and who don't know what they're doing. And as we all know, addicts are practiced emotional manipulators.

Good luck.

Gina
My brother Steve and SIL (other brother's wife) did one with Steve's wife. I did all the talking. We had all agreed to tell her that either she went into rehab the next day or she would have to move out. She was nearly dead from drinking. One foot in the grave for sure. She was totally hammered when we did it and just cried and cried. So did I. But she went the next day and this month celebrates 7 years sober. We didn't know a thing about it but meant what we said. Steve just couldn't take anymore, but didn't have it in him to do the talking. To me, she's a miracle. Their marriage is a wonderful thing now. I'm incredibly proud of her as well.
Beck
Beck,hey there,long time no hear!!!!

Sounds like you did some very good talking,shes sober 7 years?!?! How awesome is that?

We've talked and talked about doing it with my sister,but havent as of yet.She claims shes gotten her life together,and to be honest,the last 3 or 4 times ive seen her,she seemed sober,when usually she would be hammered first thing in the morning,from the night before.She isnt going to rehab or anything,not sure how or even if shes truly doing it,but she does look better,im praying for the best.

Danny,i havent much to offer,but i surely hope you find a way to help your friend.Its just so sad watching friends and family throwing their lives away day after day.I think its even harder for those of us who have been there oursleves,becasue we know how it is,and trying to explain to someone,how to get help,can get frustrating when they dont listen.For some,it just takes longer than others,and then there are some who just never ever get better.I pray both my sister and your firend are not amongst the latter.Good luck~KIM
Danny,

We did one on my Dad about 20 years ago. We did have an intervention specialist to mediate. This was so long ago that things have probably changed a lot so I wouldn't really know how to find an "intervention specialist" now. Maybe start with an in-patient (or out-patient for that matter) treatment center. They'd at least give you a starting place. One piece of advice....EVERYONE who participates in the intervention must be fully on board and they must have a relationship with the alcoholic. If you don't present a united front, all it does is cause animosity between the people involved and allows the alcoholic to play one participant against the other. NOT GOOD! You may also want to consider getting your friend's employer involved. That's a call only you can make but if your friend is employed and he values his job, it can only be useful. Many companies now have chemical dependancy programs and his job is safe if he's getting help and he keeps his nose clean. Not so if he continues to go untreated and screws up his job because of his alcoholism.

Good luck!

~Callie~
Hey Danny ~

I've been involved in a few 12-step calls, but never what I think you are asking about an intervention. However, I did see one from the periphery of a law firm, where I once worked. It went very much like those shows you see on TV's A&E network where they had a professional counselor, family members, a retired state trooper and arrangements made for a designated place for the intended addict to go for treatment after the intervention.

When I hear that word intervention, I always think back to that episode on the Sopranos when the whole gang sat Christopher down to address his heroin habit. :)

Christopher's intervention

For some reason, I don't think it's supposed to go like that?

Hugs and good luck!

Sammy
thanks for all the replies. Its a very bad situation.
Mornin' Danny ~

I'm so sorry to read about your friend. Anytime an addict is living in active addiction, wracked with denial and all the other behaviors that surround this disease, it is a serious situation.

Any idea what is going to happen as far as an intervention takes place? Apologies in advance, but I don't remember if you have worked the 12 steps or even if the 12 step modality of recovery is something you embrace. However, here is a link to the chapter in the Big Book titled "Working with Others" that may shed some light where a 12th step call is concerned. When I read the words alcohol or alcoholic - I think pills and addict.

Chapter 7 - Working With Others

If nothing else, it may give you some things to think about if you are going to be part of this intervention. Please come back and let us know more about how your friend is doing and if s/he makes the decision to get help. I will keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers.

Love ~

Sammy

p.s. - When going on a 12 step call, it recommended you do not attempt this alone. I feel the same would be true for an intervention.
Danny,I've never been involved with one but I don't see how it can hurt.It sure can get them at leat for a moment to realize the destruction they cause everyone around them.That can be a good thing.As far as a sucess rate,I have no clue.Im not really into these reality TV gigs so I think some of that may be over kill.

I have been on some 12th step calls with another recovering alcoholic/addict and again if the party's ready to listen you have a good chance.I was 12th stepped by 2 men when I wanted to stop drinking n the late 70's.They took me straight to a meeting afterwards.

I hope your friend is ready to listen.
Amen, Tim. That's really what it comes down to...a little willingness. I also have been the recipient of a 12th call and it was amazing what one (well in this case 2) addicts talking face to face with me did. Yet that's the beauty of this program, isn't it? An addict giving back what was so freely given to them. There is nothing more profound than one addict sharing with another.

As for those TV reality shows, I think you are spot on with you analysis. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have viewed those shows. Makes me wonder just how they get away with it - the surprise element of revealing someone's personal medical history on national TV, usually to the addict's surprise, with HIPAA laws being as they are.

Hugs ~

Sammy


We are doing this tonight...will report back when done.
My family is doing an intervention tonight, also, for my cousin. We are all hoping for the best and are on the same page. I also feel that it cannot hurt to show her how much we love her and wish for her to seek help. We did not get a professional to help and our treatment plan is to stay with her tonight and take her to the ER that offers drug detox tomorrow.

I've been involved in a couple...they aren't pleasant but when everything else has failed and the person won't get help, sometimes it's all you can do. Just remember not to be judgemental Danny. You've been where this person has been and remember how much better you responded to compassion and tough love.
QUOTE
remember how much better you responded to compassion and tough love


I've never been where this person is..but that the same time, I was also never shown compassion or did I experience tough love.

In fact, it was quite the opposite.

We'll see how this goes...I'll explain later.
You know, Danny, it occurs to me that since I was still using and deep in denial when I participated in that intervention, I probably wasn't the best person to bring along for support, lol.

I'll be thinking of you tonight. Good luck
Good luck tonight Danny. Let us know how it goes. You Im'ed me when I was posting this so I just wanted to add be careful and I am saying a prayer for you and your friend and everyone else involved. You have always been there for me when I needed a wake up call and for that I thank you. Hopefully, one day your friend will realize what a great friend you are. Shantel