hi iv posted for the last few months here and nevery see my post, im from canada and im just wondering if enyone else is, it would be nice to here from someone in my own state. so if this gets posted that would be great. im still sturgling with the oxy,s i went of theme againe for the 3 time in 6 months, now trying to fight the uerges, not to get eny. thanks jada.
Hi, Jada - sorry, I'mnot from Canada, will Iowa do? I've seen people post from Australia, New Zealand, Florida and Maine, but not too many from the middle US or north. Anyway, hope you find someone, but in the meantime, know that we're all thinking of you and wish you well with your recovery. Just post if you want to talk. Sherrie
Hi Jada
My boyfriend and I are from Canada. What province are you in? I'm not the addict, but he is. He is going to go on the Sub starting this Friday to get off of a pretty big morphine habit.
He knows that the biggest struggle ahead is going to be the mental cravings, but he is bound and determined to win that battle.
Keep fighting them. I'm obviously not talking from experience or anything, but from what I've read, they get better and easier to manage as time goes on so don't give up!! There will be a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Best wishes,
Mickey
My boyfriend and I are from Canada. What province are you in? I'm not the addict, but he is. He is going to go on the Sub starting this Friday to get off of a pretty big morphine habit.
He knows that the biggest struggle ahead is going to be the mental cravings, but he is bound and determined to win that battle.
Keep fighting them. I'm obviously not talking from experience or anything, but from what I've read, they get better and easier to manage as time goes on so don't give up!! There will be a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Best wishes,
Mickey
HIYA JADA" how are u doing i hope all is well, i know we have never posted to each other before but i saw your post' and yes i to am from canada/ manitoba i live in a small city called sreinbach have u ever heard of it' with my hubby + our sons well anyway iam just going out the door spending the day at my parents they live in winnipeg so i just wanted to check in before my sister gets here she is picking me up' and the monkey on my back was tylenol 3's and besides my hubby who is a god send and dear wjacky who was there for me all the way when i needed support and charmed 1+ marie" iam clean today thanks to my hubby and these dear people" anyway please take care of you and yours and anytime u need support or just to vent iam here. P.S. please forgive my spelling IT SUCKS LOL.... .HUGS LITTLE H.
hi to all that replyed, thanks for the kind word,s iv been stuergling with this additione for a long time, to long, the day,s i realy want to come of the perks and 0xy,s i seem to be in so mush paine i can,t stand it, so i alow the uerges to take over and then im on my self desutive path. my husben and i fight about this al the time, he is also on the perks for med reason,s. but he only see,s me as the person that has the problem. iv been around recovery for 20 y, and did good the fierst 10, but since iv been of work for my injuerys it,s gotten woers, and someday,s i don,t now what to do with myself, i do go to meetting,s once or 4 times a week , we have a great programe here that cost nothing, to go, but i still can not stay away from the med,s. im going thru a haret test today to see if the blood flow to my heart is ok, because heart dess, run,s stroge in my family, and iv just finched treatment for hep c, that was hell to go throu but i did, so way do i do this to myself when iv been giving so many chanse. thank for lesten. dada
Dear Jada, or Dada,
I was finishing up the night when I came across your posts..
I hope you are finding your way.. Im looking ( Again ) God willing at Monday.
How many times have I said that?
Anyway, besides the pill addiction, I see that we also have the hep C. thing in common...I did the treatment, but since I am genotype 1A I did not respond.
I gave up drinking 3 years ago, Sept. and the pill thing started more frequently when I was on the tx, Interferon and Rib..At that time I had to be up and functioning as I was taking care of my dying Father.
Well you know how it goes...one thing led to another, Then Mom got sick and died..Excuses Excuses..
Funny part, or should I say sick part is that while taking care of Mom I managed to function without pills when I had to ..Even the week she was dying I was not using, and the last 15 hours I spent with her until she took her last breath I was still straight.. You know I thought about making a phone call that day to get some , So Glad I did not cause I would have not been there with her when she did pass..
Well, I turned 51 today. and although I had been tapering, I way overdid it tonight..
Guess you could say I was having yet another Party..Yeah Right!!
Im sure I don't have to tell you what the tylenol in these pills are doing to your already unhealthy liver...I know mine is so inflammed I can feel it pushing against my rib cage,,, My Viral load is extremely high in the 14 millions. last I heard, but my enzymes are Totally Normal...
Well I read these boards every night , except last night cause I was going through a slight w/d from tapering..
I think these people are right here. Tapering is not the way..It is only prolonging the w/d and you still feel S****Y! So Im pretty well ready to end this horrible cycle of using and thinking of quitting and using and thinking of quitting, and thinking that I can't and what if I get sicker, and what if Im dying anyway. and what if and what if...
Guess it's time for me to find out..
I always was a strong person, but not mentally..Tough as Nails on the outside..
I gotta prove this to myself..I would never hurt anyone the way I have been hurting myself..
Anyway..I made it to 51. Lets see what I can do with whatever time I have left.
I wish you strength. and happiness.
Love and Hugs
Dianna
P>S> Usual question..How much are you taking and for how long?
Someone told me years ago, if you must take the pain pills at least take the ones that have less tylenol in them..My Doc. wanted to give me Oxys. but I refused cause I would just take as many of them as I do any other pill.. The ritual ...like when I did Coke..Hated it, but the ritual..well thats just another part of the whole darn dumb addiction.
Here for you and wishing you well
Love
Di
I was finishing up the night when I came across your posts..
I hope you are finding your way.. Im looking ( Again ) God willing at Monday.
How many times have I said that?
Anyway, besides the pill addiction, I see that we also have the hep C. thing in common...I did the treatment, but since I am genotype 1A I did not respond.
I gave up drinking 3 years ago, Sept. and the pill thing started more frequently when I was on the tx, Interferon and Rib..At that time I had to be up and functioning as I was taking care of my dying Father.
Well you know how it goes...one thing led to another, Then Mom got sick and died..Excuses Excuses..
Funny part, or should I say sick part is that while taking care of Mom I managed to function without pills when I had to ..Even the week she was dying I was not using, and the last 15 hours I spent with her until she took her last breath I was still straight.. You know I thought about making a phone call that day to get some , So Glad I did not cause I would have not been there with her when she did pass..
Well, I turned 51 today. and although I had been tapering, I way overdid it tonight..
Guess you could say I was having yet another Party..Yeah Right!!
Im sure I don't have to tell you what the tylenol in these pills are doing to your already unhealthy liver...I know mine is so inflammed I can feel it pushing against my rib cage,,, My Viral load is extremely high in the 14 millions. last I heard, but my enzymes are Totally Normal...
Well I read these boards every night , except last night cause I was going through a slight w/d from tapering..
I think these people are right here. Tapering is not the way..It is only prolonging the w/d and you still feel S****Y! So Im pretty well ready to end this horrible cycle of using and thinking of quitting and using and thinking of quitting, and thinking that I can't and what if I get sicker, and what if Im dying anyway. and what if and what if...
Guess it's time for me to find out..
I always was a strong person, but not mentally..Tough as Nails on the outside..
I gotta prove this to myself..I would never hurt anyone the way I have been hurting myself..
Anyway..I made it to 51. Lets see what I can do with whatever time I have left.
I wish you strength. and happiness.
Love and Hugs
Dianna
P>S> Usual question..How much are you taking and for how long?
Someone told me years ago, if you must take the pain pills at least take the ones that have less tylenol in them..My Doc. wanted to give me Oxys. but I refused cause I would just take as many of them as I do any other pill.. The ritual ...like when I did Coke..Hated it, but the ritual..well thats just another part of the whole darn dumb addiction.
Here for you and wishing you well
Love
Di
Happy Birthday Diana! Don't be too hard on yourself, it's your birthday, and besides, tommorrow is a new day. I tapered before I went cold turkey. My problem was I just couldn't seem to stop tapering, lol. I did get down to a reasonably low dosage each day though. Finally I just said forget it and did what I had to do. Maybe that could explain why w/d wasn't so terrible for me, since I had managed to lower my dose. Who knows? Mind you it wasn't fun, but I wasn't in agony either. Maybe it will be that way for you too. I know of one person who sucessfully tapered, so it can be done, most people will tell you though it's unlikely. Perhaps you will do what I did, just lower yourself and make the w/d more bearable. Sooner or later though, we all end up in the same place, on that day when we take no more and endure what follows. It's so worth it, Diana. Whether it's very difficult, or mild, or somewhere in between, those days will pass by, and then you can begin your journey into recovery. It's such a nice place to be after where we've all been before. It's freedom. Much love, good luck, and Happy Birthday!!! Love, Kat
hi dianna, will iv hade the woerst week of my life, and have just wanted to give up, my husben has saked for a seperation, weve been maierd for 25y, and are both addictes, but as always mine is woers, iv not been working my program, like i should, and this week iv been of the oxy,s for 6 day,s now trying to ween with the perk,s but as i now that is a joke. iv always gotten sober for him or to save my maierg, will that does not work, i have been doing a lot of soul serching this last few day,s and i can,t make eny moer emty promies, that does not work, i have been stugling with add, way to long, as i sit here writing this i just want to num myself, thats the only way iv none for so long, i have 2 son,s that are also going thru a lot, my oldes son came home for a few day,s and he is going on the treatment in nov, well he was here his girlfriend called and broke up with him, and my yougest son has just moved back home becuse his mareig broke up, and he has 2 gerles, the loves of my life, thar only 2 and 3, so i don,t now were to go from here it,s seems like my life is cmeing apart, my son is going home today to talk, and fine out were to go from there, i do not want him to go throu the treatment alone, but my husben does not want him to come back home, but what would it matter if he leaves the maerg enyway,s i guess i just don,t now what to do, i now my husben want,s me to back in recover, but i no what i have to do, and iv been in recover for him to manny times, now it,s time to do it for me. thanks for lesten, god bless jada.
jada since your from canada is there a site that lists detox programs in your contry Ive heard its much much cheaper than here. also any idea what they use thanks Ray
Wow Jada, you really have had a terrible week. You're so right about doing it for you, though. You really have to. And you deserve it.I hope things improve for you. Good luck and much love, Kat
Jada,
I just wanted to take the time to respond to your post..It sound like you really really have so so much on your plate right now..
Well I really screwed up , Again tonight...Like you and many I have no idea how to deal with my feelings of hurt and anger..
I really blew up at my youngest last night, and Im not sure If the feelings Im having are because of what I did or said, as much as it is the fact that that just really enforced the fact in my head that I have No Idea how to deal with Anything...
I woke up feeling worse than the night before, and to alleviate my pain, I, of course, medicated...and over medicated, and do you think it helped one bit..?
Not....
This is one of the things that scares me about me...Am I some kind of Monster?
Is this what I am really like when Im not pretending to be Ms. Personality?
God!!!!
And of course today I had the F*** Its...Big Time...
and I know that the only one I am F***ing is myself.
Well thats whats going on here..
Im so stuck and probably am choosing to be stuck because of my Pride..
I know I should go to a meeting, but I hate Crying in Public, and once I start there is no stopping me..and when I do, I feel like Im looking for sympathy and I am not..and of course I feel unworthy of that and very un-easy with it as it was something I rarely, if ever, received growing up. or should I say growing Down..
Well Jada, I hope you are doing better...
Please be careful w/ the Perks as the tylenol in them are so so toxic to the liver.
How many are you down to.?
I really didn't have any luck tapering..Maybe for a couple days, then I'de just make up for lost time ....
Good Luck
Try to make yourself the #1 priority..I know it's hard, but you have to take care of You before anyone else, even the kids...
Maybe we could talk via e-mail about the Hep. etc.. if your comfortable w/ that please write..I would love to hear from you..Thank You..
Phillysladydi@aol.com
Again wishing all the Best
Thank You.
Di
I just wanted to take the time to respond to your post..It sound like you really really have so so much on your plate right now..
Well I really screwed up , Again tonight...Like you and many I have no idea how to deal with my feelings of hurt and anger..
I really blew up at my youngest last night, and Im not sure If the feelings Im having are because of what I did or said, as much as it is the fact that that just really enforced the fact in my head that I have No Idea how to deal with Anything...
I woke up feeling worse than the night before, and to alleviate my pain, I, of course, medicated...and over medicated, and do you think it helped one bit..?
Not....
This is one of the things that scares me about me...Am I some kind of Monster?
Is this what I am really like when Im not pretending to be Ms. Personality?
God!!!!
And of course today I had the F*** Its...Big Time...
and I know that the only one I am F***ing is myself.
Well thats whats going on here..
Im so stuck and probably am choosing to be stuck because of my Pride..
I know I should go to a meeting, but I hate Crying in Public, and once I start there is no stopping me..and when I do, I feel like Im looking for sympathy and I am not..and of course I feel unworthy of that and very un-easy with it as it was something I rarely, if ever, received growing up. or should I say growing Down..
Well Jada, I hope you are doing better...
Please be careful w/ the Perks as the tylenol in them are so so toxic to the liver.
How many are you down to.?
I really didn't have any luck tapering..Maybe for a couple days, then I'de just make up for lost time ....
Good Luck
Try to make yourself the #1 priority..I know it's hard, but you have to take care of You before anyone else, even the kids...
Maybe we could talk via e-mail about the Hep. etc.. if your comfortable w/ that please write..I would love to hear from you..Thank You..
Phillysladydi@aol.com
Again wishing all the Best
Thank You.
Di
