Okay, so my boyfriend of 11 months has always used cocaine up until around 6 weeks ago following a argument in which I said I cant be with him whilst he uses because it causes such awful arguments and violence. Last week, I found two rolled up lottery tickets in his trousers in which I confronted him and he swears he has no idea how I go there? I love him and am I taking his word just for a easy life am I being stupid? The reason which made me believe him is because he wasn't 'high' and was sleepy and ate a big dinner? please can someone just guide me here I feel like im at a total loss either way :(
Getting anxious, really rolled up lottery tickets, a mere coincidence. ...hmmmm...my son is a addict. .I have heard more excuses in my years. ..If I were you I'd keep my eyes wide open the rolled tickets are a red flag..if it's amazing how a addict will challange you mentally....if you don't feel comfortable with your finding there is a reason for it....my feeling is there is also something that you have seen that you lacked to mention in this equation. . Like maybe you found something else as well....maybe I have become hardened maybe callous but when dealing with the addict I tend to trust my finding over what they are trying to sell me......
One other thought you said you were excepting his life for a easy life....living with a addict is the furthest thing from a easy life....You will deal with mood swings...money will dwindle ...trust broken ..lies numerous...if I were you I'd rather work my butt off take care of myself and move on....You already have stated issues in the relationship. .it's been 11 months ..save yourself move on
Follow your gut... He's using, who rolls lottery tickets for fun?
Step back and review your life. What do you want to do with your life? Is this what you want?
I found that my intuition was always correct. My husband even stated once " your moms stomach is bothering her, and we think you are using". I feel I have a connection with my son, maybe it's just motherhood. Good luck, follow your gut feeling.
Step back and review your life. What do you want to do with your life? Is this what you want?
I found that my intuition was always correct. My husband even stated once " your moms stomach is bothering her, and we think you are using". I feel I have a connection with my son, maybe it's just motherhood. Good luck, follow your gut feeling.
It won't just go away.
Changes will have to occur. Big, major changes.
If you did not think to yourself "they are", well, you better make them.
Be Well
Larry
PS i doubt she has or will be back.
Changes will have to occur. Big, major changes.
If you did not think to yourself "they are", well, you better make them.
Be Well
Larry
PS i doubt she has or will be back.
When my son was sober and living at my house, I asked him for a UA. He told me, Mom, if it is not a problem, then it is not a problem. He would give me one any time. He knew we had to manage/develop trust. Then when the wheels came off, he would say.....what you don't trust me.....I don't have to give you anything. There was the answer.
Giving up drugs is hard. 6 wks is not very long, and even harder/if not impossible without going to meetings. A rolled up lottery ticket and a second one....means he is getting sloppy. He probably is using more than you think. When my son was first arrested 10 yrs ago, I had found scales in the car/house.......I looked around. It was my house. I looked. Don't be blind..look, watch the time and money. When someone uses cocaine and are coming off, we call it cocaine washout..........they sleep, and can sleep a long time. Look for residue inside the lottery ticket. Do not be blind to what you see.
If he is really commited to not using he must know he needs help. People who make meetings make it. He is living in the shadows......he needs to come out if he wants to recover. You need to say......no drugs......and be ready to leave the relationship. He needs to be commited to himself otherwise can he really be commited to you? He needs to get to meeting/treatment. People who make meetings make it.
And you need to commit to yourself. Seek the truth.....for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be dragged down into his addiction.
Prayers for you.
Giving up drugs is hard. 6 wks is not very long, and even harder/if not impossible without going to meetings. A rolled up lottery ticket and a second one....means he is getting sloppy. He probably is using more than you think. When my son was first arrested 10 yrs ago, I had found scales in the car/house.......I looked around. It was my house. I looked. Don't be blind..look, watch the time and money. When someone uses cocaine and are coming off, we call it cocaine washout..........they sleep, and can sleep a long time. Look for residue inside the lottery ticket. Do not be blind to what you see.
If he is really commited to not using he must know he needs help. People who make meetings make it. He is living in the shadows......he needs to come out if he wants to recover. You need to say......no drugs......and be ready to leave the relationship. He needs to be commited to himself otherwise can he really be commited to you? He needs to get to meeting/treatment. People who make meetings make it.
And you need to commit to yourself. Seek the truth.....for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be dragged down into his addiction.
Prayers for you.
Leave him...11 months is nothing.
Your lifetime is what is ahead of you and you don't want this life..trust us.
Your lifetime is what is ahead of you and you don't want this life..trust us.
Thanks everyone, I've left him now and feeling much better x
