Is It Possible?

Hello all! Just wondering if the feelings that I have felt the last week are normal. I have ---some how----- felt this new found freedom... Like I am tired of dealing with this. ( he has been using Percocet for 2 years) I want so much to help him, but after all of you telling me it has to be him---- I don't want to waste my life anymore. I gave up children (he has 3 didn't want more) and marraige (he didn't want to get married again). I want all that, and I was willing to give it up for a good strong relationship. I just can't find that relationship anymore. He has completely stopped talking to me. He ignores me when I am standing right next to him. I talk to him, and he acts like I am not there. I could yell at him, and he could ignore me. I just don't understand it. I have tried. I have failed. I have gave it my all. I fought the good fight, now I have to be ME. I love him so much, but I just can't give one more day to his addiction. I have sought help-for me... I have done the "counceling"... I have done it all... he ... has done nothing but use. I can't do this anymore. I have to start my life over.. without him. BUT how do I walk away? How do I not look back? How do I say I am done... and tell my heart that? Any ideas? anyone gone through this? How do you say "I'm done" and mean it-- it is like I am breaking my own heart by walking away. My feelings are the same... I love him.. but he doesn't even know I am alive! What can I do? How do I deal?

Zelina
hi zelina, it seems like you know what you have to do, not easy but don't you deserve to live the best life you can? you have the capabilities to get thru this, it can be so hard and i know heartbreaking, but you have the choice of how you are going to react and deal w/ this, ....i try to remember i didn't cause it, can't control it and sure can't cure it, only can be treated like i allow myself to be treated,and this is it, the real thing so fight for yourself and believe that you are something special and keep on posting, i have really found some comfort in knowing that i am not alone in this and that it just takes baby steps every day and then longer steps, then somehoe you just keep on living, hope you can find some self peace...take care laura
Thanks Laura... as it seems, my problem isn't a very large one since I didn't really get much of a response in my time of need. I really feel like I am at the end of this road.
Blondie

At least you know that you have tried EVERYTHING! What else can you do except finally just leave? Yes it is so hard to leave but you know you can only help yourself now. Just because you leave doesn't mean its over forever. Maybe once you've left, he'll see what he's lost and maybe do something about his problem. A lot of people, especially addicts, don't realize what good things they do have until they've lost it all. Maybe thats what he needs. You can in the meantime work on yourself, and it is heartbreaking but can you do this for another year?
See for me its hard because when he's not high, he gives me tons of affection and he pays a lot of attention to me which I love. So he makes it too hard to leave.
Its hard to be strong when any of us leaves any relationship, of any kind. But its sometimes necessary. And sometimes its the one necessary thing left to do when you've exhausted all other possibilities to save it. Leaving may even help to save it!