Hi All,
I'm worried that my boyfriend might be an alcoholic. Could someone please shed some light on this situation and what I should do.
I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months now. We are in a long-distance relationship and see each other every other weekend. So, the behavior I will be describing is only happening on the weekends. I can't say if the same happens on the weekdays/nights as well.
Anyways, I knew from day one that he liked wine. He would drink throughout the night, would take a glass to bed, and even would sip on the leftover wine as soon as he would wake up the next morning. I thought it was strange, but never really had an idea how much he is really drinking until last weekend. I took him to the airport at the end of the long 4 day weekend, came home and it hit me that he drank 6 bottles of wine and about half a bottle of scotch in 4 days all by himself.
He seem to never get drunk despite drinking so much. He has a full-time job and works about 60 hours a week. He is a great guy and treats me really well. And I do love him. But I'm really worried about his health and potential problems down the road, as we are talking about a long term relationship.
Also, I worry that him being under the influence pretty much the whole time to some degree while we are together, I don't really get to see his "real, sober" personality.
I want to talk to him, but not sure how to bring it up without hurting his feelings. Also, should i talk to him on the phone, or wait till he is in town next time? He's been saying that the last few days i seem distant and asked me if everything was ok, and I'm hesitant to bring up the subject,
Do you guys agree that he is drinking way too much? Do you think he is an alcoholic?
Thank you so much in advance.
It's just my opinion but I would say he's a functioning alcoholic. He probably doesn't appear drunk because his body has to have the alcohol to function at this point. I would recommend you seek out an Al Anon meeting to learn more about it.
Michelle
Michelle
I would agree with Shell's statements. You can't control it. The support at Al Anon will be of help to you.
I guess I would start with WHY am I afraid of bringing up this very IMPORTANT conversation with this guy? You really need to have THIS conversation with HIM first...everything else until that point is speculation. If your are thinking long term relationship you should be able to communicate these thoughts BEFORE really committing ya know?
He definitely has a drinking problem as you know he does because that amount of drinking is not normal. You should either accept him for what he is as that is what he has shown you from the beginning or ask him about his drinking amount and be prepared for some problems to come up and possibly the end of the relationship. He may run and avoid or tell you he will cut back or start commenting on your problems but that is a very typical response. More than likely this is the beginning of the end and you can look back and be grateful you didnt get caught up in his addiction. Or go to Al Anon and see what we go through there.
