Is My Boyfriend An Alcoholic?

Thank you for reading my post...I have been dating and now am living with my b/f for 6 months. He is 42, retired from a high position in the military and now has a great government job. I'm not sure if he is an alcoholic. He doesn't drink through the week, only on the weekends, but he will drink vodka straight from the bottle and won't stop until it is gone. He is so drunk he can't walk and he becomes verbally abusive. A few months ago, he got a DUI and was supposed to go to court 2 weeks ago for trial. He took a plane to the state where the DUI occurred, got a motel, and got drunk. He didn't go to court and a bench warrant was issued. He stayed drunk for about 10 days until today when he called me to tell me he was going to face the court and he will probably go to jail. I think he is very depressed but I don't know why. Should I stand by him? Should I wait for him if he goes to jail? If he checks himself into rehab, can he keep his job and avoid going to jail? He is a wonderful man when he is not drinking but I hate him when he is drinking. Thank you again for reading my post. Please offer any advice you can.
It really sound like if he's not a alcoholic that he very close to being one. He may not be drinking on weekdays (that you know of) but missing court to get drunk isn't to responsible to me. I know a lot of alcoholics(unfortunately) and your boyfriend shows a lot of the tendencies that I see in them.
I think that you really need to step back from the relationship (especially if he's abusive when he drinks) and really think if this is what you want to get into. Rehab may or maynot help him..but does abuse ever get better?
Thanks for the reply. I've decided to put an end to this relationship, and thus, the misery. I've been in physically abusive relationships before and finally got the courage to get out, but I've never before experienced an alcoholic who is verbally abusive and self destructive.
I am a much stronger person now than I was in my 20's when I would put up with so much crap from men I 'loved'. Ladies, if you are with someone who makes you feel terrible, get out of the relationship. Ask yourself this question...What is it I love about this person? Make a list of the good things about them and a separate list of the bad. Are the bad things worse than the good? Don't think for a minute that you can't make it on your own or that no one else will love you. These things just aren't true. The abusive man will try to make you think they are true, but they're not. It is just his way of keeping you there under his control. He has to control someone, that's his nature.
When I left my abusive husband, I was 26 and had 2 kids age 5 & 6. I started a job making 6.50 per hour. Now, my kids are grown, I bought them each a car, I have 2 homes and drive a 2001 Acura. I made it. YOU CAN TOO!!!
Please feel free to post a message if you wish to talk about your situation.
Dear KS163,

Thank you so much for message. It is very timely. I just left a relationship due to alcohol and the decision has not been an easy one. I miss him, love him and wish him the best BUT will not put up with his mental abuse anymore.

I will however support him if he needs helps and wants someone to attend AA.

I hope things are going well with you.

Take care.
Dear Kys

Your boyfriend is certainly an alcoholic - thats how i started drinking at the weekends to - i felt i deserved it due to all my hard work during the week - + i was depressed and alcohol is a depressent and only makes you worse - he needs help - if you keep holding him up he will not fall - he has to reach his worst i.e rock bottom to realise what he is - you are doing no favours letting him away with anything and keeping going backk to him - he will not change until he gets help - im not saying it is not possible to change - i am a recovering alcoholic and have been for many years - but have now stepped into another addiction - you are an addict for life - it is a matter of controlling the addiction and getting the help your need.

I have also been on the abusive side as i had married an alcoholic and did not know it at the time i newnowthing about it at the time - but i left him - and eventually his addiction killed him - leavng me a widow with two you children to bring up on my own




lots of love

rosy