Posts: 1
Joined: January 12, 2016
hi my husband has had a heroin problem for 10 years and has been trying to get off it.we have been married 7 months and were best friends for years prior. at the start we we soo happy he was taking methodone but then wanted to changed to suboxone because he would always be asleep and it was affecting our relationship. we had a bad fight recently as he has been making up excuses not to see me and hardly calling me. and he messed up worst then ever and stopped taking his suboxone and used $1000 In one week. after I found this out I broke down and started hysterically crying advising I can't do this anymore as he has been acting so cold and unloving towards me and always going to his parents house. he lft my house and went to his parents advising he was going to start taking his suboxone again cause he didn't want to hurt me anymore. the week he used $1000 I hadn't seen him the whole week then he came home for 5 minutes and left again. he didnt' attempt to contact me for 2 days and I heard from his family that he was taking the suboxone again in front of them every day. he is now telling me that he needs at least 2 weeks to start the suboxone again. Is the suboxone the reason he is being so distant or is it simply that he doesn't love me anymore. I have told him I will stand by him no matter what as long as he is honest. but how can he love me when he doesn't even call or want to see me. he doesn't explain his feelings to me and just keeps saying he wants to protect me from this. but is the suboxone making him like this towards me or simply that he doesn't care anymore.
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. I am currently going through the same experience and only been married since August. From September up until Monday my husband was the same way, to an extent. My husband did the suboxen on and off again. When he was distant I knew he started using again. Thankfully my husband is now in rehab. I'm unsure of if our situations are relatable , but I would encourage you to fight for your husband in order for him to wake up and see what his addiction is destroying. Their addiction doesn't just destroy them it dies indeed destroy us.
Unfortunately, no amount of fight will make an addict quit. They know what they are doing, this (in my opinion) is why they lie and become distant so they don't have to face the destruction their addiction causes. I am not saying don't fight for them but saying until they want to get clean, they won't get clean. That's the reality.
The best advice I can give you is go see a therapist that specializes in addiction, get your head in a hood place so that you don't enable him and can handle things better. I have been with an addict 14 years. Alcohol, pills, suboxone, and methadone. Forced rehabs, broken promises, I have dealt with so much. Best decision I ever made was getting a good therapist. Now, he's clean, but it will forever be a struggle and I will always keep my therapist on speed dial.
The best advice I can give you is go see a therapist that specializes in addiction, get your head in a hood place so that you don't enable him and can handle things better. I have been with an addict 14 years. Alcohol, pills, suboxone, and methadone. Forced rehabs, broken promises, I have dealt with so much. Best decision I ever made was getting a good therapist. Now, he's clean, but it will forever be a struggle and I will always keep my therapist on speed dial.
